Thursday, January 12, 2012

In which I challenge Baldr Odinson to an Internet duel

I apologize in advance for my language in this post.  I endeavor to keep this blog PG-13, but some times a man has to say what a man has to say to other (I think) men.  You've been warned.

Everyone, please stop feeding the troll.  He won't post your comments, he controls everything on his blog to make sure that only the Right Thoughts™ appear there.  You'll never win this way.  Here's how you win.

Baldr Odinson (whoever you are, assuming I spelled your pseudonym correctly, which I don't care if I did or not), I challenge you to a man-to-man contest.  I will prove by blog combat that you are a pussy, and that you are also an idiot.  Your ideas are weak, yea, weak unto death.  They make your blog weak, and everyone knows it.

I will prove this, to the Internet's satisfaction, or I will grovel and ask for mercy and forgiveness.  As the Knights of old did, I offer to prove this, risking my body (well, err, traffic and Internet reputation) against yours.  Not that I want your body.  Ewww*.

You are a pussy** ***.

You moderate comments, not because you get so much traffic that you attract spammers (you wish), but because you are, y'know, a pussy.  You can't actually take real criticism. Pussy.

You leave comments on the gun blogs, but flee when people reply to your comments.  Your intellect is weak, and you take the safe but cheap route of tossing a grenade, troll-like, into a comment thread and then Sir-Robin-like scampering away.  Pussy.

Your traffic (for someone who's backed by the Brady crowd) would best be described as "pussy-like", but that would be an insult to honest pussys  throughout the Internet.  You, on the other hand are a dishonest pussy.

And I can prove it, in front of everyone on the Internet.  Here's my challenge:

- Open your comments, as mine are open here.  I delete comments, but only if they are spam.  For the purpose of this challenge, I will agree to delete *no* comments, even spam.

- Put up a post in reply to this post, accepting the challenge like a man.  Someone who refuses to hide behind comment moderation.

- After seven (7) days, whoever has the most comments (on your post or mine) wins.  If you win, I shall apologize handsomely, both in a comment to this post and in a separate post.  When I say "handsomely", I mean "will exceed your expectations".  As the Knights of old said, I will prove this at the risk of my own (blog) body.

- If you lose, you will post a simple "Borepatch was right" post.  That's all I ask of the likes of you.  Pussy.

You won't take me up on it, of course, because you're a pussy.  You know that your arguments are weak, and can't convince anyone - as indeed the entire Gun Ban lobby has found to their dismay.  Your practice of avoiding conflict and discussion has made you weak, and you know it. Even against a nobody blog like me.

And because you know you're weak, you're a pussy.  You know it, I know it, and everyone on the Internet knows it.  So put up or shut up.  You've been called out.  Man up, or crawl away to hide under a rock.  And no whining about what a "brute" I am - these are words, dude.  Sticks and stones, and all that.  We'll never meet In Real Life, so don't piss your pants and everything.  Or email me, and if we meet up, I'll buy you a beer and we'll talk about this (not fight, duh) man to man.

Let me say that again, so all the Internet can hear: man up to this challenge, or STFU and crawl away like a pussy to hide.  There are no other choices.

To the Gun Blog community, that's how you deal with pussies.  Stop feeding the troll.  Stop putting up well reasoned arguments against what they post, when you know that they're too pussy to reply.  Pearls before swine, and all that.  It's making me cross to see such a waste of fine intellectual horsepower.  It a stupid game, and we should stop playing - unless Baldr is (unexpectedly) willing to act like a man for a change.  Which he isn't, because he's a pussy.

* Not that there would be anything wrong with that, of course, except that I don't swing that way, you pussy.

 ** No offense to honest women everywhere.  Except Joan Peterson, who manages to be simultaneously an actual, you know, woman and an a weak, disengenious, two-faced lying comment-moderating pussy just like Bladr.  I'd challenge her to a duel, too, except that a Man doesn't go after a lady that way.

*** I try to keep this blog PG-13, but enough is enough.  If I can say that Mitt Romney is gayer than Twilight, I can say that Baldr Odinson is a pussy.  Unless, of course, he mans up.  Which he won't.  Pussy.

66 comments:

YeOldFurt said...

Yep, he's a "pussy" without an inch of backbone.
YeOldFurt

Teke said...

My guess is he's running around, flapping his hands, and saying omg what do i do, what do i do, what do i do, in a very sissy voice.

Bob said...

Damn, Ted, what got you up on your hind legs?

*laughs*

Not that I'm complaining. More power to you.

PISSED said...

Heh... you used bad language ;)

Posted to help get the word out for you, Sire :)

Brian said...

Go get him!

That is all.

B

Whit Spurzon said...

So called liberal/progressives frequently demonstrate their ethos of tolerance with their nanny state ideals. They only do it to protect us ... Liberty and self reliance scares the hell out of em.

bluesun said...

Nice.

ProudHillbilly said...

I do so want to know the background to this...

Weer'd Beard said...

Not only is he a pussy but he's a pussy with a SCIENCE background!

Of all things he's TRAINED to know better, and still chooses to root for the side of less freedom, more ignorance, and more dead bodies.

He should be ashamed!

Bob said...

Since Baldr uses a Norse/Scandinavian pseudonym, perhaps he understands what being called nithing or ergi means.

Ted, are you aware you've challenged Baldr to a holmgang? If he refuses the challenge, he is nithing and probably ergi, as well.

PISSED said...

One other thing,

Be glad you're not still up here.

You wouldn't be able to call him names
on January 25th.

As part of the state’s anti-bullying efforts in public schools, Gov. Deval Patrick has designated Jan. 25 as "No Name Calling Day" in Massachusetts.


http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20120106gov_deval_patrick_calls_for_day_without_name_calling_in_school

Kevin Baker said...

Who?

Borepatch said...

Bob, it was just one too many times seeing people playing his stupid game. A discussion is one thing, and people can honorably disagree. But it seems that there are a lot of folks chasing people who refuse to debate honorably.

Made me cross.

John Anderson said...

It may have been a mistake to base the challenge on quantity as opposed to quality, but I understand that quantity is purely objective and thus easier to measure empirically.

GuardDuck said...

So, uhnm, BP, stop guilding the Lily and tell us how you really feel.

Bob S. said...

Borepatch,

I fully support your challenge and will post in support of it also but I may be one of those people chasing him -- even knowing his refuses to debate honorably.

Of course he won't. He is as you call him out to be.

But I don't post on his blog for him. I post on his blog for those who seek information. Hopefully they will stumble over the few tidbits he lets through and that will lead them to doing their own more in depth research and the truth.

A lie left unchallenged becomes the truth. — Tom Gresham

Weer'd Beard said...

BTW I decided to sweeten the deal a bit for Mr. Odinson.

Since he's been so friendly to the little CSGV "Outing" BS by trumping it on his twitter, blog, and lord knows where else...yet he even writes print articles and gives news interviews for his cause under a pseudonym.

So if he declines, snubs, or ignores your challenge, I won't feel the need to address him by his pseudonym anymore in my future works. Seems only fair, don't you think?

ShallNotBeInfringed said...

Kick his a__ Sea Bass!

Chuck said...

Bravo! In reference to B.O., I have learned: "Nevery try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time and annoys the pig." In short, except for righteous anger (your post), ignore the little troll. Why waste your time and talent on such a nonentity who cannot and will not learn?

Mike W. said...

I've never seen an anti who wasn't an intellectual coward. Baldr is no exception

Sarah The Cranky said...

He's probably too busy changing his pee-stained drawers to respond just yet. :)

Dirk said...

I'd expect his response, if any, to be along the lines of "I know you are, but what am I?"

Bushwack said...

Don't know where all this came from, but I guess it's evident that baldor is a pussy...

Well, good luck with burying a troll. usually I play with them a little bit then put them in a corner and make em wear a dunce hat.

This should be fun to watch but alas, me thinks baldor may puss out...just a hunch.

RobertM said...

Good one, BP!

doubletrouble said...

I don't know the backstory either, but good on ya for calling him out.

Uhhh, I don't see his response here...

Tam said...

BP,

The eagle does not hunt the fly.

Sailorcurt said...

Good point Tam, but occasionally, the fly becomes enough of a pest that it just has to be swatted.

Anonymous said...

Tam is right. "The eagle does not hunt the fly." I have never read the guy, but chances are, that getting you to respond is his idea of a win, since that is usually the only victory his kind can get.

If you don't mind a suggestion, the best way to deal with that type of troll is mockery. Most of the self-righteous cannot handle it, and everyone else will be entertained.

Stephen said...

Agreed, he's a pussy. Well done, my friend.

Dave H said...

Oh, me-ow! I guess you told him.

Wolfman said...

Its futile to try to talk with them, and the 'lalalala I can't hear you' gives me a headache. Still, its hurts little to give a brother your support. I imagine, were he to respond in kind, we'd see a lot of sock puppets...

Tam said...

Masochists get off on suffering. True believers enjoy being mocked for the cause of righteousness by their moral inferiors. If the audience stopped clapping, Tinkerbell would die.

Remember: When a masochist begs "Hit me!" a real sadist would say "No."

agirlandhergun said...

I don't know who he is, but if his your enemy then he is mine. Not because he is anti or a pu, yeah, I am not saying that word, but because he has ticked you off, so go get him.

BobG said...

If he did accept, he would probably find some way to cheat.
I have no use for type of idiots, liars, and cowards that seem to make up most anti-gunners.

RuffRidr said...

Brave Sir Baldr ran away...
bravely ran away...
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

Brave Sir Baldr turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Baldr.

Borepatch said...

Tam, I think the real issue is that I was in a foul mood from all the travel. It was more blowing off steam than anything else.

I have low expectations that this will move the discussion wit That Crowd.

Weer'd Beard said...

"I have low expectations that this will move the discussion wit That Crowd."

That's why you're the smart one, Bro!

Still I kinda wanna see what'll happen!

Goober said...

What about the 18 year old mother who had just lost her husband only a week prior who just saved her life and the life of her baby with the shotgun that Sir Baldr would just as soon she didn't own?

Would Sir Baldr have seen her raped and murdered rather than be able to defend herself? What would Sir Baldr have done in a similar situation? Cowered in the corner and begged for his life? Employed ninja martial arts skills on two men who are both twice your weight, multiple times your strength, and are armed with guns, themselves?

pat said...

Sir Baldr and Joan and Company advise us that during a robbery and or mugging, we are to give the offender what they wish, and NOT resist.
Because that's worked SO well in every situation!
Go get 'em!

Chad said...

I'll add my voice to the crowd in wishing you luck at tilting at windmills.

And, admittedly, there's a non-zero probability that he'll surprise us all.

Paul, Dammit! said...

Good to see you hemidemisemi putting boot to butt. Ultimately, faced with the prospect of being called out for an intellectual dick-measuring contest, I foresee the liberal internet hate machine calling loudly for no scorekeeping and participation trophies all around.

TheMinuteman said...

In the words of Jay,
"Smoke that mother fucker like it ain't no thang!"

Six said...

You're my hero BP. I needed a smile today and presto!

Lokidude said...

Swing batter batter!

Alternative theory: He accepts your challenge, loses like we all know he will, then crawfishes like the pussy you're going to show him for. Which merely proves your point.

wv: versess "It's Borepatch versess Baldr the Pussy!"

Graybeard said...

Is this the post you wanted the comments on?

Oh, wait. I just did.

Excellent, bro'.

kx59 said...

Well then, this should be quite interesting. BP is going easy on him. He could have challenged him to an economics or history debate...

Midwest Chick said...

Maybe it won't move the conversation along but sometimes folks need to be called out when they refuse to man up.

McThag said...

He's chickenshit. Pussy has a value and a use.

Linoge said...

Baldr Odinson is a verifiable coward, so I can already tell you he is going to wuss out on this challenge from the very get-go.

The real question to me (anchor pool, anyone?) is (a) whether he will choose to acknowledge this post at all, and (2) how much of a whiny little bitch he proves himself to be in the process.

Borepatch said...

Can I just say that you guys rock?

Tai said...

Go get 'em, Borepatch!

maddmedic said...

Does a link to this count?

Baldy Oddisoon...heh what a name...

You own him...Of course the leftist bot machines are probably gearing up right now...

Phillip said...

Since I never read his blog, nor have any interest in it, please let us know if he actually even acknowledges the contest, would you?

MSgt B said...

Second Phillip.

I'm not going to give the guy blog traffic checking out any response.

A fresh post (after you calm down) would let us know how this turned out.

P.S. - It was fun watching you lose your mind for a second there...

J Melcher said...

just for fun

Tam said...

Dear Joyce Foundation,

As you can see by my traffic numbers, "NoGuns.com" is having an impact. Thank you for paying my hosting fees for another year...

Sincerely,
J. Random Antigunner

Borepatch said...

MSgt B, glad to be the plucky comic relief!

;-)

Anonymous said...

Help a lurker out. Who is this troll?

RedeemedBoyd said...

This is awesome. You are my hero. And you are not a p....retender.

Shy Wolf said...

Sittin' back in lawn chair... check!
Six pack of Coke in cooler at side... check!
Popcorn buttered and salted to perfection... check!
Cameras on tripods and rolling... check!
This' gonna be fun- let the fireworks begin!
Shy III

Goober said...

we are to give the offender what they wish, and NOT resist.

Including our lives if that is what they are there for? Our bodies if that is what they desire? Not all crooks are after material things. The widely accepted belief is that the crooks in question were not after this girl’s TV, although what they wanted from her does have a “v” in the name. Should she have just let them abuse her, beat her, possibly kill her rather than fight back? I’d like to see Sir Baldr do that in practice.

Robin said...

If you want to out him, Baldr's real last name is not Odinson, its Dash. He is famous for his logic.

HankH said...

Yup, he's a pussy.

I'd rather hang with manly men.

Love da blog.

HankH

Jennifer said...

shall I break out the white gloves or the leather ones?

barece said...

Amen, Borepatch!

Rauðbjorn said...

The thrall known as Baldr Odinson is coward for true and a slanderous cur. I would not deign to urinate upon him even though he be set ablaze.

Well played Borepatch, well played.