Dad Joke CCCXXXIV

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Oldest bottle of wine unearthed

Long time readers will recall that awhile back I posted about a bottle of Roman wine from around 325 AD.  Well, that discovery has just been pushed back by three centuries:

In 2019, a glass cinerary urn containing a reddish liquid was discovered in a 1st century Roman mausoleum in Carmona, southern Spain.

...

Researchers from the University of Córdoba analyzed samples of the liquid to determine its composition. They found that it had a PH 7.5, close to neutral, and contained biomarkers that are exclusive to wine. High-performance liquid chromatography-mass spectrometry (HPLC-MS) identified seven wine polyphenols all of which matched those in modern wines produced in this area of Andalucía, including dessert wines from Montilla-Moriles, sherry-type wines from Jerez, and manzanilla from Sanlúcar. 

Cool.

Costco wines tasted by professional Sommelier

I ran across this because the Youtube algorithm tossed it up in my feed (Lord knows why).  But Andre Mack seems to have some chops as a sommelier, and he has a really interesting tasting of Costco (Kirkland Signature) wines.  These range from $4 to $30 a bottle, mostly in the $8 - $12 range.  Bottom line: some dogs but surprisingly few.

My impression: can confirm on the Kirkland Pinot Grigio.  It's not something you'll find at a Michelin Star restaurant, but it's really good vino locale (or in French, le bon vin de table).  And it comes in the 3 liter box for $13.  Endorsed.

So I watched this and thought that Mr. Mack seems legit.  As a follow up, I watched this tasting of the same wine from different vintages, 1978 to 2016.  I believe that Mr. Mack is indeed legit.  There's good stuff here.

I like how he describes himself as a wine "nerd" - guilty as charged, although my days of real wine nerdism are a third of a century in the rear view mirror.  I even built a wine cellar under the basement stairs.  What Mack says here about how wine ages is exactly what I saw with a case of Bordeaux (1986 Gruaud Larose).  Over the span of six years the wine definitely and obviously changed each year.

Ya know, if I had kept that untouched, the $30/bottle (1990 dollars) would be now worth ~ $300/bottle (2024 dollars*).  But you need to not move every 5 years, so that won't work.

But watch the first video for sure, and go get you some legit cheap wine at Costco.  I hadn't known that they're the top wine merchant in the US.

*About 30 cents/bottle in 1990 dollars, given how inflation is running.

They say it's not aliens ...

But it's aliens.  Or at least Lizard People. 

This actually explains a lot.

I would SO go here

FOtB Pachydermis2 is tending bar at the coolest bar ever.

I would totally have a drink there.  Oh by the way, his mask was because they were excavating rock.

BREXIT beer deal

LOL.  Via Chris Lynch, who you do read every day, right?

Things I had not known

Being Designated Driver will not let you get to bed before 0200.  I'm not sure why I thought that I was getting off easy.

But Happy New Year's, y'all!

The World's oldest brewery

It's a lot older than we used to think.  Aaron finds it.

I wasn't born for digging deep holes

A friend is putting in a fence and so Wolfgang and I went over to help him dig post holes.  Since Home Depot wanted $100 to rent a two man auger, we did it old school, with a posthole digger.  All in all, we knocked it out pretty well.  Wolfgang was, as you can imagine, a big help.  He somehow managed to drop his frisbee into one of the two foot holes.  He sure wanted that frisbee, because he stuck his head down the hole to get it.

Yeah, he's a big dog.  But while it's good to help a friend, it reminded me that I'm not 40 anymore.

Happy 4/20 Day!

Party on, Garth!  I recommend this to wet your whistle:

SweetWater 420 IPA, probably my favorite IPA.  It isn't pasteurized (maybe the reason I like it so much) so you might only see it in the south and the east coast.

Or you can kick back with Muddy Waters and have you some Champagne and Reefer.



Bootnote: I've never been one to partake of the evil weed, myself.  But I'm told that today isn't just Hitler's birthday, it's also a holiday.  Of sorts.  The kids tell me that.  I'd tell them to get off of my lawn, but there's grass involved ...

UPDATE 4/20/2018 17:18: I see it's not just me:

pic.twitter.com/Dfen1b0zI9

— Sal the Agorist (@SallyMayweather) April 20, 2018

Truth in labeling

This is awesome.

All ready for football

Maybe a little too much tailgating before the game, though.

The beer prayer

Amen.

4/20 Day

It seems that the stoners celebrate this day, for some reason.  That's not my poison of choice, but this is:

Sweetwater 420 IPA.  An Atlanta beer, it looks like they're getting serious distribution.  I can get it up here in Yankeeland, even.

I-95: the Spring Break highway

Literally:

MELBOURNE, Fla. - A crash involving two tractor-trailers hauling beer and chips overturned on Interstate 95 in Brevard County, spilling the snacks all over the roadway and blocking lanes for hours on Wednesday morning.

The crash was reported at milemarker 187 in Pineda Causeway just after 3:30 a.m.

Florida Highway Patrol said the tractor-trailer carrying Busch beer was driving southbound on I-95 when the driver attempted to move into center lane and swerved to avoid another vehicle.

The front of the Busch beer truck then struck the Frito-Lay truck, prompting the Frito-Lay truck to overturn and spill beer and chips onto the roadway, according to FHP.

No mention as to whether a salsa truck was in the area.

Hat tip: Rick, via email.

The day after St. Patrick's Day

Maybe painting lines on the road is not such a good idea ...

Oof

What a week.  I feel like this ...

It pains me to say this

The Internet can't match the local pub:

The Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA) has perhaps merely confirmed what all right-minded people already know: that those who have a local boozer in which to quaff ale and chew the fat with mates are "significantly happier" than wretched souls who do not. 

CAMRA asked Oxford Uni's Professor Robin Dunbar to look into the link between pub-based social interaction and personal wellbeing. He concluded that "having a strong social network significantly improves both your happiness and your overall health".

So much as I love all y'all, get out to your local and have a pint with your mates.  Because SCIENCE®!

We live in the best of all possible worlds

Stay thirsty, my friends:

I will leave you with one note of optimism, from Mark Perry.  I went to college in the nadir (1980) of the American beer industry, where a small oligopoly of mediocre beer producers was protected by government legislation.  It was a classic example of how regulation drives monopoly, consolidation, and loss of choice.  With deregulation, the American beer industry has exploded.

What I got for Christmas

A friend made this for me.  I have no recollection of this, but I'm told that alcohol was involved.  Since this involved the Macarena, that may be the case.

Let's be careful out there this New Year's Eve ...