Showing posts with label goofy stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goofy stuff. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Planet Borepatch

Ten years ago I put up what may have been the strangest post I've ever written.  What's funny (both funny ha ha and funny weird) is that it ended up as a reference on a Wikipedia page (!).  And it got a comment from early blogger Steven den Beste (fanboi squeee!).

Automatic pistols, the Burgess Shale, and the evolution of design

Warning: this is a strange post, probably the strangest I've ever written. In a way, it's a transmission direct from Planet Borepatch. Don't say I didn't warn you.

In the beginning, nobody knows how something "should" work. When a new opportunity to do something differently comes around, you typically see a lot of different things get tried. This applies to people, when a newfangled way of doing something gets proposed. This also applies to nature, where a major ecological shift opens up new evolutionary pathways.

Paleontologists call this Adaptive Radiation followed by Decimation, and is best illustrated by the sudden appearance of almost all modern animal families in the Cambrian Explosion (ca 540 M years ago), followed by the extinction of many other animal families soon after. Many of these extinct organisms are captured in the Burgess Shale, probably the most important fossil field ever discovered. The definitive work on the subject is Steven Jay Gould's Wonderful Life.

The Burgess Shale is important for two reasons: first, it's very, very old, dating back almost all the way to the Cambrian Explosion itself. It gives a record of the animals alive only ten or twenty million years after the beginning of the Cambrian period. Second, it preserved as fossil not only hard shell and skeleton remains, but soft tissue as well. This is incredibly unusual, and the combination gives us an extremely detailed record of life in the Early Cambrian, when modern animal forms had only just emerged.

But there were strange forms as well, ones that have not been seen since. You might think of them as experimental designs that were briefly viable but which were out-competed. Designs unrelated to any living species. Designs like Hallucigenia, where scientists aren't sure if the blob on the end is the head:

And Opabinia, where different scientists have proposed very different reconstructions of the animal. This is one:

And Anomalocaris, originally thought to be three different creatures, from the fragments of its very different body parts:
All initially viable designs in the Brave New Multicellular World, but soon gone in the subsequent Decimation.

We see this when evolution is driven not by mutation but by human ingenuity, and weeding not via Natural Selection but via the Market. Automatic pistol designs exhibit a very similar "radiate and decimate" pattern.

Autoloading pistols also appeared suddenly, with a flurry of experimentation in the 1880s and 1890s. The "Cambrian Explosion" event seems to have been Hiram Maxim's invention of the recoil-operated machine gun, which set tinkering minds to work on a miniaturized design suitable for a pistol. What we saw was an explosion of initial designs (including from Maxim himself), rapidly followed by a decimation to the remaining pistol families we see today.

But some of those early designs are as wild as Hallucigenia.


The Webley-Fosbery Automatic Revolver, with one foot in the old and one in the new. The top of the revolver recoiled backwards on a track in the top of the base; a pin mounted on the bottom caused the revolver to rotate, as it moved in the groove in the cylinder.

Schonberger-Lauman 1892, the precursor to the Schonberger 1893, the first commercially sold automatic pistol. The late Ian Hogg describes it in his Illustrated Encyclopedia of FirearmsThe mechanism is absolutely unique in pistol design, since it relies upon the setback of the cartridge cap due to the explosion pressure in the case. The bolt is locked by a cam surface on a forked arm; when the pistol is fired, the cap sets back about 0.18 of an inch, imparting movement to the heavy striker before the cap is stopped by the face of the bolt. This slight movement is sufficient to cause a lug on the striker to disengage the locking cam, so leaving the bolt free to recoil, swinging the forked arm back against a spring ready to close the bolt once more.

Schwarzlose 1908 Blow Forward design. The breech block was part of the pistol's frame; firing the cartridge caused the barrel to run forward. There is no slide - rather, the pressure of the expanding gas and the friction of the bullet drove the barrel forward against a spring. The expended case was ejected, a new cartridge was loaded, and the spring pushed the barrel back into place ready for the next shot.

The Pieper 1907had a tip-down barrel, below the recoil spring unit housed in a tunnel on the top of the pistol. The design was unique for how slender the final product was, which resulted in a continuing popularity despite its very high manufacturing costs.

Both the fauna of the Burgess Shale and the early automatic pistols went through a Decimation phase, where a large number of designs were weeded out. The Burgess fauna converged on the major phila that we see today - arthropods, chordates, gastropods, etc. The automatic pistols market was revolutionized first by the Luger, and even more so by the 1911. Why?

Steven den Beste wrote about the Burgess Shale years back, in the Pleistocene Age of the Blogosphere. I found his conclusion to be more compelling than Gould's, who said that it was pretty much luck that determined which survived and which died out. den Beste thought there was more to it:
There's a deeper reason, and it is the thesis here. It's a natural switch from non-zero-sum to zero-sum competition. At the time of the Burgess Shale, that switch hadn't yet taken place, and in the non-zero-sum "Expansion" phase, things are more forgiving. Once you switch to the zero-sum "Competition" phase, creatures which were viable before cease to be, and will die out.
This sounds right, and seems to apply to pistols as well. Initially production runs are small and the novelty is itself a selling point. But eventually customers begin to figure out how to discriminate more effectively. Some designs were too expensive to be competitive (Pieper), some too cumbersome (Webley-Fosbery), fragile (Luger), or requiring bizarre and hard to find ammunition (Schoenberger). We're not sure why the Burgess fauna suffered so many extinctions, but the reasons could very well be similar: some bred more slowly (like today's tigers), or ate specialized food (like today's Koalas), or were too fragile to deal with evolving predators (in particular, this may have been Anomalocaris' fate).

In the long run, designs rapidly converged on what has been proven to be long-term stable. Tam comments (in a different context):
Materials science moves on and yes, we're living in The Future, but as it turns out, round is still a good shape for a wheel and rubber makes pretty good tires.
Ingenious design is a marvel to behold, but a pistol's business is serious work. Reliability, ease of maintenance, availability of ammunition all provide incremental but (over time) irresistible pressure towards what works. Even an advantage of a few percent in efficiency can be enough for a species to win out over thousands of generations of evolution, or for a pistol to guarantee Great War contracts.

A note to anyone who actually read this far: there is an excellent Web site that deserves your attention. The Corps of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers in Reading, UK has an outstanding collection of historic weapons, automatic pistols among them. I wish I had know about their museum back when I lived in Blighty. To any UK readers, this might be worth a journey.


Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Hair of the dog


I have the dog and the cone.  This may be a Halloween costume for Wolfgang.

(original)

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Things I did not know

Downtown Rome, Georgia looks like it could be a set for Mayberry R.F.D.  Think I need to go back for a closer look sometime.

That snorting sound that you just heard is MSgt B, who needs to get him one (or more) of these patches.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Iconic photographs recreated in Lego

This is pretty cool:


Lunch atop a skyscraper:


Times Square, V-J Day:



Tank Guy:



That one needs a lot more legos if you want to do it justice:


Lots more iconic recreations at the link.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Happy International Poetry Day!

There was a man from the Blogosphere
who'd post on the Internet for years.
Lives in his Mom's attic
but grows his blog traffic.
His content is simply cavalier.

Yes, it helps to be running a fever when you write posts like this ...

Macguffins - it's what's for breakfast

The Czar of Muscovy describes how I like to remove macguffins from Global Warming stories.  He gives me rather more credit than I deserve - there's nothing at all altruistic involved here, and I guess I need to confess.

I save them and have them for breakfast.  I love 'em.

Sure, sure - they're fattening and bad for my cholesterol.  That's why I only post on Global Warming every so often - the Doc says that I really need to cut back.

It probably wouldn't be so bad, except I like them best if you melt a little butter and whisk in a touch of snark, then drizzle it over the warm macguffins.  Man, that's some tasty snark for breakfast!

And so while I love it that y'all like my Global Warming posts, I'm really doing it for me.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Careful, now


When the kids were small, Pokemon played a bit part around our house.  The reference to the falling asleep refers to Jigglypuff's special poke-power as you can see in this video of the Pokemon Snap Nintendo 64 game:



The game looks goofy, but we played this for hours as a family.  I have very fond memories of this.  Hillary Duff, not so much.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Damn

This will put me out of a job.


Friday, January 25, 2013

Teletubby zombies?

Damn.


I have to confess that I had something to do with La La's demise.  In my own defense, we did way more than double-tap.  But I thought we were free and clear, once we dealt with the Teletubby Spec Ops team.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

I went to H Mart today.  I can't believe that I've never been there before.  If you don't have one near you, H Mart is an oriental grocery super store, although the Latin American section was pretty big in this one.  They have the critter parts (pig trotters, etc) that aren't in your local super market, and a huge selection of Japanese, Chinese, and Korean pickles, sauces, noodles, and the like.  It's the real deal.  How real?  This real:






I didn't get any, but they had rabbit and goat.  Going to have braised Thumper here in Camp Borepatch soon.  Plus I have freshly made Kimchi (yum!) and some sliced oshinko (double yum!).  And fresh udon for #2 Son.

Plus they have a furniture and, err, hardware section:


You can score a sweet, sweet computerized Throne for your Smallest Room.  Don't know if it's got a heated seat and water jets for your sanitary enjoyment or not.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Thursday, October 11, 2012

The day that wasn't

The Julian calendar was commissioned by (as you might expect) Julius Caesar in 46 BC.  It had the familiar 365 ¼ days - and was wrong.  That's close to the solar year, but not quite right.

Fifteen hundred years later, it was obvious that the calendar was drifting.  Pope Gregory XIII commissioned a replacement called (oddly enough) the Gregorian calendar.  That's the one that we use today, and it has additional rules about leap years - when you have one, and when you don't.  Who knows, maybe in a few thousand years there will need to be a replacement.

The only remaining problem, back in 1582 when His Holiness' new calendrical hotness was installed, was that dates had drifted, and the spring equinox was off by nearly 2 weeks.  To correct this, 10 days were deleted from the calendar that year.

October 11 was one of those days.  In 1582, it just didn't exist.  Makes you wonder how you counted birthdays for people born that day.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Alas, poor Yorick

I eated him, Horatio.




Wolfgang and I attend Hamlet.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Bob has issues

It seems that he's a racist:



And it seems he's sexist:



Don't be like Bob, you racist, sexist scumbags*.

* No, not you.  I was talking to the other blog readers.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Goofy, perceived and real

Some things look goofy, but aren't'.  One of these was the F-82 Twin Mustang.


Looks goofy, doesn't it?  Twice the gear: two engines, two pilots, twice the drag.  But it seems like it may have been the finest propeller-driven fighter plane we ever made.  Originally designed for very long range escort duty to protect B-29s bombing the Japanese home islands, the first ones were delivered just as the war ended.  However, they were kept around as long range interceptors that could counter a new generation of Soviet strategic bombers before they reached  American airspace.

And "long range" was no joke - one F-82 flew from Hawaii to New York without refueling, a record that stands today for propeller-driven aircraft.

Fast and maneuverable, there was also plenty of room in the dual airframes for radar, which made this a dandy night fighter.  It was so versatile that it saw service throughout the Korean War despite the prevalence of jet fighters.  "Goofy" was only skin deep.

But other things are just plain goofy, like Operation Pinball.  This took a P-63 King Cobra WWII vintage fighter, removed all the weapons and regular armor, and added back a ton of special armor plate.  The plane was painted safety orange and used for live air-to-air target practice.

It was flown by a pilot while it was being shot at.  Man, those pilots must have really been screw-ups to get assigned that duty.  Boy, howdy.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Misspent youth

I saw this recently here in Austin:


It reminded me of my misspent youth, when 2cents and I would hang out in the basement of Barstan's pub on Mill St. in Orono, Maine (right next to Pat's).  They'd get Irish music from Schooner Fare, and we'd do shots of Jameson's Irish Whiskey with a beer chaser.  After enough shots, we could sing this with them.  Or at least, it seemed that we could.



Good times, good times.  Except for the time that Bill fell face down on the table and we (meaning me, not 2cents) had to drag him up the back staircase so he could get sick in the parking lot, not on the table.

Matter of fact, I used to be able to play this song on the guitar from memory.  Sounded better after a few shots, if I recall correctly.  Man, that was a long time ago.

Monday, December 26, 2011

That's pretty good Heroin Water, right there

#1 Son had to write, film, and edit a commercial for College.  Now where's he get that sense of humor?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

This guy's neighbors must have really gotten him annoyed



But I love the description on Youtube:
Give a redneck some Christmas lights and he'll string up his house. Give the same man an engineering degree from Ga. Tech as well and this is what you get...
Don't mess with them Tech boys, Son.  They can get purty mean.