Monday, May 17, 2021

Dad joke LXXVI

 I don't believe in "i before e except after c".  It's been disproved by science.

Dispatches from Joe Biden's America

Helpful safety tip: don't put bags or open containers of gasoline in your car.


The Democrats are turning into Florida Man in every state ...

Hat tip: American Digest

Happy Birthday, Wolfgang


 That deer is out there ...

Sunday, May 16, 2021

NRA news

Via Sebastian, here's a blog about what's going on with the NRA.  NRA In Danger.   It's pretty interesting reading.

Dad joke LXXV

Did you hear about the robbery at the Tokyo Origami museum?  New reports say the story is still unfolding. 

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Off to the range

Taking a neighbor - former Marine who had to qualify on an M14 in basic.  Blog later. 

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Stop protecting stupid people

Peter finds the Fed.Gov offering advice to stupid people ("Don't put gasoline in grocery bags.")  He is (naturally) horrified.  But he's a Man Of The Cloth, and you would expect that charitable reaction from him.  

Me, not so much ...


 (Language warning)

Shiny And Chrome

 For the hundreds of readers who didn't get the reference in the last post. It's from a post-apocalyptic movie called Mad Max:Fury Road. There's an evolving religion  that has some interesting beliefs. Here, from a chase scene that comprises most of the movie, is the quote.

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Wives. Wadda ya going to do?

No, you cannot go all shiny and chrome.

I feel your pain, Miguel J.KB. (Can you guys get the posts tagged with the author's name?)

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Dad Joke LXXIV

I was watching a video on my computer and the cat kept stopping it.  He must have discovered the paws button.

Monday, May 10, 2021

Strategic Decisions

Where are the computers in your car or truck made? And what happens when that foreign power decides to stop shipping?

Strategery is hard.

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Oh no, Canada!

Remember this from 7 years ago?  Ukranian priests are badass.


It looks like they're now matched in badassitude by Canadian priests who need a SWAT team to take them down for holding church services:


But He knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.

- Job 23:10-11
This post tagged "fascists" because, well, you know, eh?

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Uncle Kracker - No Time To Be Sober

A friend turned me on to this hilarious song about the virus lockdown.  I can't figure out what my favorite line is; probably this:

I used to crack a beer and throw on CMT But now I'm sipping vodka with the CDC

 Made. Of. Win.


No Time To Be Sober (Songwriter: ?)

I'm at my local Winn Dixie, feeling kinda risky 'Cause I forgot my surgical mask And it seems the town is with me, 'cause man the looks are shifty I get from every person I pass I'm just here to stock up on spirits and get a few things for my home So please just someone tell me why all the toilet paper's gone This ain't no time to be sober This ain't no time to be sober There's a time and place to hide your face And I got nothing but time to waste This ain't no time to be sober I've had my fellow zoom meetings Emotional eating since five o'clock till arriving 'round noon And I swear this paranoia, man it can destroy ya Every time I cough I swear that I'm through I'm like six feet from my sanity, just trying to get back And figure out why Carole Baskin fed her husband to that cat This ain't no time to be sober This ain't no time to be sober There's a time and place to hide your face And I got nothing but time to waste This ain't no time to be sober I used to crack a beer and throw on CMT But now I'm sipping vodka with the CDC and This ain't no time to be sober (this ain't no time to be sober) This ain't no time to be sober There's a time and place to hide your face And I got nothing but time to waste This ain't no time to be sober I do believe we should share cheer But I'll do mine from over here and This ain't no time to be sober I can't wait 'till it's over

Friday, May 7, 2021

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Dad Joke LXXIII

Continuing with our vulcanized rubber theme:

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire. 

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Dad Joke LXXII

I had a joke about a flat tire but I think I'll spare you. 

Weird battle day

May 5th is the anniversary of two strange battles.  

1862 saw the French defeated by the Mexicans at Puebla.  What's strange is that the French went on to defeat the Mexicans, with "Emperor" Maximilian seizing control of most of that country for the next several years.  For some (strange) reason, Americans (not Mexicans) celebrate this day.  Me, I think it's the marketing department at Corona Brewing that's behind it all.

In 1945, the Battle of Castle Itter saw US GIs and Wehrmacht soldiers fighting on the same side - the only time this happened in the entire war.  All in all, I expect the GIs would rather have had a frosty Corona ...

Unmasked

 There's something skewed in the perspective of this photo of these two elderly Presidents and their wives. Lens choice, too much flash, bad Photoshop, I dunno, but it sure looks odd.

But leaving that aside for a moment. Where are the masks? Pr. Biden wore one on a video conference call with world leaders when there was no contact. We keep hearing about masks from Dr. Fauci. Now we have this visit, no one is masked, they are touching and well within six feet.

Are masks important? Are they political theater? Virtue signaling? Are they less important once we are vaccinated? 

Maybe someone should look at the science.


 

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Dad Joke LXXI

What does a house wear?

Address. 

Monday, May 3, 2021

So why didn't Michelangelo paint The Last Supper?

There's very little argument to the proposition that Michelangelo was the greatest Renaissance artist of all time (and not much argument that he was the greatest artist who ever lived, period).  Not only did he set the standard for sculpture (Pieta, David, etc), but he painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

So how come he didn't get the job to paint The Last Supper, which is Leonardo Da Vinci's most famous painting (along with the Mona Lisa)?  Monty Python explains it all for you.



Quote of the Day - Collapse of Civilization edition

Tolerance, good temper and sympathy are no longer enough in a world where ignorance rules, and Science, which ought to have ruled, plays the pimp. Tolerance, good temper and sympathy — they are what matter really, and if the human race is not to collapse they must come to the front before long.

- E. M. Forster, 1938

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Dad Joke LXX

The restaurant burned my Hawaiian  pizza yesterday.  I told them that they should have put the oven on aloha temperature.

Alan Menken and Howard Ashman - Beauty and the Beast

The composer who has won the most Academy Awards for original songs is someone who you might not expect.  Alan Menken has several unusual stats to his name: he has won eight Oscars, more than any other composer.*  He won the Oscar for this in 1991; two of the songs nominated that this one beat were also by him and Howard Ashburn, from this same film.  Lastly, the Academy of Motion Pictures changed the rules of the game.  Since Menken had won the Oscar in 1989 (The Little Mermaid), 1992 (Beauty and the Beast). and 1992 (Aladdin), they added an award for "Best Original Musical or Comedy Score" which was won by (wait for it) - Alan Menken in 1996 for Pocahontas.

Oh, yeah - he also has 11 Grammys, a Tony, and an Emmy.  The's one of only 16 people to have collected each of the Big Four awards: Oscar, Grammy, Tony, and Emmy.

You might recognize some of this other music as well, notably Little Shop Of Horrors.

I'm not a fan of the recent Disney releases, but their films from the early 1990s were pretty spectacular.


* Alfred Newman, Twentieth Century Fox' music director won nine Oscars, but these were not for compositions.

Saturday, May 1, 2021

Carter Sampson - Queen of Oklahoma

If you, like me, think it's really hard to find actual country music in Nashville, you have to look elsewhere.  As it turns out, Oklahoma is a renewable resource for real country music indy artists.

Artists like singer-songwriter Carter Sampson who is a breath of fresh air in a genre of over-produced cooky cutter sounds. (*cough* Bro-country *cough)

Making a living as an independent act is hard work, and for a long time she would bartend in the evenings and write songs during the day.  Gigs first came slowly and then more frequent.  She recounted on a radio interview how she got a call one day from the restaurant where she worked.  She hadn't had a shift in 2 months and they wanted to take her off the rotation.  She realized that she was a full time singer.

Her voice is distinctive, in some ways reminiscent of Elle King, only country.  Real country, not Nashville Country-Pop.  With seven albums to her credit, there's a lot to like.  This is perhaps her signature number.



Dad Joke LXVIIII

Patio doors can be a real drag.  Windows can be a pane. 

Kabooms

 A discussion of kabooms by Ian at Forgotten Weapons.

 

H/T to lee n. field in the comments for the link