Me too, Bacon

 

Stolen from Chris Lynch.

Bacon of the Month Club

How can something this good go so bad?  First, the good:

We'll ship to the lucky recipient each month, just in time for weekend frying.

Each shipment contains 12 to 16 ounces of artisan bacon, bacon stories, histories and recipes.
Bonus! Free Bacon Booklet keepsake primer and awesome Pig Magnet with first club shipment.

"Amazing artisan bacon"—Mario Batali

"The best thing I ever ate"—Michael Symon

"Fantastic gift!"—Bobby Flay

Sounds good!  What's it cost?

Zingerman's Bacon Club - $99

G-BAC-3 3 MONTH

Month 1:

Applewood Smoked Bacon, Bacon All-Stars Refrigerator Magnet, Pocket Book of Bacon

Month 2:

Kentucky Dry Cured Bacon

Month 3:

Arkansas Peppered Bacon

[blink] [blink]

$33/lb for bacon?  I don't pay that for steak.  I don't like paying half of that for steak.

Bah.  Got to find me a local bacon bootlegger.

My New Years' resolution

I resolve to eat more salads.

Soylent is people bacon!

This is so, so wrong:

Months before the World Health Organisation (WHO) declared bacon a carcinogen, American boffins may have found a solution: algae that tastes just like bacon, but without the bad bits the Doctors at WHO say could cause your untimely demise. 

The eukaryote in question is called Dulse (Palmaria sp.) and, as explained Oregon State University, is already in demand as a tasty addition to various recipes.  

The, err, plot thickens:

Thus did Dulse attain the status of a “specialty crop” at Oregon's Food Innovation Center. From that collaboration some of the algae, which apparently resembles “translucent red lettuce', found its way into a frying pan wielded by Chris Langdon, a professor in the Department of Fisheries and Wildlife at OSU. 

“When you fry it, which I have done, it tastes like bacon, not seaweed. And it’s a pretty strong bacon flavor,” Langdon says.

I must confess to being torn.  On one hand, I love me some greasy breakfast.  On the other hand, this might be killer as a "bacon" sushi ...

They can have my bacon when thy pry it from my cold, dead fingers

Now they're saying that bacon can kill:

As predicted last week, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has classified processed meat as "carcinogenic to humans".

The decision is based on the findings of 22 experts from 10 countries working with WHO's cancer tentacle the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).

Having reviewed the "accumulated scientific literature", they concluded there was "sufficient evidence in humans that the consumption of processed meat causes colorectal cancer", as the press release (PDF) puts it.

The WHO can kiss my butt.

Sunshine, kittens, and bacon

Boy, I've been grumpy lately.  Mustn't grumble.

Everyone likes sunshine, right?

And kittens.  You you don't like these, we can't be friends anymore.

Yo, dawg!  We heard you liked bacon, so we made Bacon out of bacon.  Because bacon.  Everyone likes that.

Happy birthday, Dad

Today would have been Dad's 87th birthday.

It's strange, but four and a half years after his death, I still think of him every day.  Some days it's a sad remembrance, but mostly it's situational - I will be doing something and I will suddenly hear his voice whispering in the back of my head.  Dad was never short of advice, although it was almost always good.

I'm moving furniture here in Camp Borepatch as I get it ready to sell.  I almost always hear him remind me Skin grows back; varnish doesn't.  Thanks, Dad.

But some memories are deeply embedded.  A long forgotten scent can bring a sudden cascade of them, an unexpected upwelling of that part of our soul that tells us who we are.  Brigid writes of this and her Dad, and the scent of after shave.  My Dad used Mennin, and the one time I smelled it in the last few years all I could think of was him and all the memories of times long ago.

Thanks, Brigid, for all those memories.  And this bit made me laugh out loud:

I think the perfect man natural scent would be some sort of mysterious combination of gun cleaning fluid, coffee, bacon, woodsmoke, and dark beer (with a slight undertone of 20 year old British Motor Car Wheel Bearing Grease.)

Because there is absolutely nothing in this whole wide world that's not improved by bacon ...

Bacon. Now even more awesome.

Err, maybe it's a preservative?

That's some yummy art

Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

Over the last few days I've reviewed and prioritized something like 2000 (!) bugs.  This is something that any reasonably large software project goes through - multiple products will over the course of multiple years build up a rather impressive database of software defects.  Lots - maybe most - will be trivial and basically irrelevant; others will be critical.

Thus, the bug scrub.  A good time is had by all ...

Well, after two or three days of this does odd things to your mind.  To wit:

Suppose, Gentle Reader, that you were to make up a mess of Pig Candy, because Bacon!  Bacon Candy, of course, if bacon strips coated with brown sugar and cayenne, and roasted until it's crispy porkiness covered in sweet/spicy glaze.  Further suppose that you were to open your Arms Locker, allowing a defensive perimeter to keep all the Pig Candy from being snarfed up in the first 10 minutes.

Why, you'd have a big ol' mess of Pig Candy.  Now assume that you were to take your favorite Chef's Knife, and chop it into fine pieces.  You'd have a topping that could go on all sorts of things:

• Salads: these are the bacon bits di tutti bacon bits.
• Ice Cream
• Waffles
• You get the idea

My question - assuming that you're pondering what I'm pondering - what you put these on?  What sort of cocktails would they go on?  Could you frost the rim of a Margarita glass with them?

Bootnote: for the two readers who don't recognize the reference from the post title, it's from the much loved TV show Animaniacs:

Err, eggs and skillet sold separately

Bacon soda.

Because bacon.

The Internet Ice Cream machine is still calming down

Blood pressure not back to normal, and so the ice cream will be late.  But since this is the Internet, here's  acute kitten eating bacon.

Because bacon.

Because bacon

This seems legit, even.

Via Mrs. Doubletrouble, the lovely and gracious hostess of the New England blogshoots who writes that this seems made for me.  Heh.

Well there goes my diet

I'd like two fingers of bacon, barkeep.

Wait, Krispy Kreme sells Cheeseburgers?

I did not know that.  Has bacon!

Tab clearing

Pielke on Faith Based Science Policy.  Scientists tell us that funding for basic research (vs. applied research) is required.  There doesn't seem to be a lot of empirical evidence for this, although the policy dovetails quite nicely with scientist's financial interest.

Stares at the World on Dostoyevsky on modern Progressives.  It's astonishing how long ago people were on to the fallacies of progressivism, and how progressives simply ignore this.  Maybe they don't know.  Or they know and this is why they don't want to have the classics taught anymore.

Lawrence Person on Texas vs. California.  I hadn't realized that part of the superior Texas business climate is lawsuit reform.

Robert Langham is doing his annual Alamoblogging.

MSgt B finds what looks like the world's best bacon.

Sean is keeping the list of who to buy your guns from.  And who not to.

A public service announcement

Suppose you were to fry up a mess of bacon, because bacon.  You'd have some hot bacon fat when you were done.  Rather than let it go to waste, suppose you looked in your fridge for something to fry in it to make it bacony (because bacon).  Suppose you found a bag of baby carrots.

Well if you fry them until they're nice and browned, they'll get all soft and fried and bacony.  Pretty good, really.

Rabbit. It's what's for dinner

I'm making braised rabbit in red wine with bacon, pearl onions, and chanterelles.  Stunningly, I find that I'm out of bacon (how did that happen?).  Also out of red wine (How did that happen? [you very well know. - Ed.]).

Off to the store, I guess.

Tiger bacon

Your argument is invalid.