Dad Joke CCCXLVI

Free to a good home: dead batteries.  Free of charge.

Dad Joke CCCXLV

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

Dad Joke CCCXLII

Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

Dad Joke CCCXLI

Did you hear the joke about paper?

Oh never mind - it's tearable.

Dad Joke CCCXL

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying? 

You rocket.

Dad Joke CCCXXXIX

Tuna sends in another one (thanks!):

Why can't accountants get library cards?  Because they're bookkeepers.

Dad Joke CCCXXXVIII

Why do math teachers make good dancers?

Because they have algorithm.

Dad Joke CCCXXXVII

Tuna sends in a good one.  What do you call a stolen Tesla?  And Edison.

Dad Joke CCCXXXVI

To the guy who invented zero: thanks for nothing, pal.

Dad Joke CCCXXXV

I got hooked on auctions after only going once ... going twice ...

Dad Joke CCCXXXIV

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

Dad Joke CCCXXXIII

I just read a great book about glue.  I couldn't put it down.

Dad Joke CCCXXXII

Tom emails a Dad Joke:

Golf balls are like eggs. They’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy some more.

Dad Joke CCCXXXI

What's a golfer's worst nightmare?

The Bogeyman.

Dad Joke CCCXXX

I just burned my Hawaiian pizza.  I should have baked it at aloha temperature.

Dad Joke CCCXXVIIII - special Father's Day edition

Why wasn't one Father's Day gift better than the other?

Because it was a tie.

Dad Joke CCCXXVIII

If someone is playing a sub par round of golf, are they playing well or poorly?

Dad Joke CCCXXVII

I made a playlist for hiking.  It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

Dad Joke CCCXXVI

Did you hear about the guy who collected candy canes?  They were all in mint condition.

Dad Joke CCCXXV

Why did the guy buy the boat?

It was for sail.