Dad Joke CCCLXVIII

Tuna sends in another one:

Want to hear 2 short jokes and 1 long one? joke joke Joooooooooke 

Dad Joke CCCLXVII - I was told there would be no math

Did you know that 10 + 10 is the same as 11 + 11?

10 + 10 is twenty; 11 + 11 is twenty, too.

(From The Queen Of The World) 

Dad Joke CCCLXVI - Dad Joke, Mom Joke

Dad Joke: If a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a Milk Dud?  

Mom Joke (Courtesy of The Queen Of The World): No, it's just lactose-free.

Dad Joke CCCLXV

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus?

A Klaus-trophobe. 

Dad Joke CCCLXIIII

Tuna sends in another:

I went to a haunted Bed & Breakfast in France, but checked out early- the place was giving me the crepes. 

Mmmm, Ghost crepes!

Dad Joke CCCLXIII

The guy who invented the Ferris Wheel never met the man who invented the Merry-go-round.  They ran in different circles. 

Dad Joke CCCLXII

Tuna sends in another one.  It looks like he's doing all my blogging now:

I was rejected for a job at the sunscreen factory. They said to just reapply every 4 hours.

Dad Joke CCCLXI

Tuna sends in another one:

My card got declined at the Sweater Store. They had to run my cardigan. 

No word yet from Glen Filthie ... 

Dad Joke CCCLX

You've heard of Pop Tarts.  Why aren't there Mom Tarts?

Because of the Pastry-archy. 

Dad Joke CCCLVIIII

Why aren't any boys born on Labor Day?

There's no male delivery. 

Dad Joke CCCLVIII

I went bird hunting the other day.  It was quite Pheasant. 

Dad Joke CCCLVII

What do you name a dyslexic roman?

Ramon. 

Dad Joke CCCLVI

Four Norse gods, one Roman god, and two astronomical bodies walk into a bar.

The bartender says Oh, this will be a week joke. 

 

Dad Joke CCCLV

Stephen emails a dad joke appropriate for the Florida summer weather:

I saw where the meteorologist who invented the ‘feels like’ temperature had passed away. He was 80… but felt like 94. 

Actually, 80/94 would be a big improvement on the current 96/119 (!).  Florida, amirite? 

 

Update: 

Here's what it "feels like" to walk out into the southern sun at midday. 

 

Dad Joke CCCLIIII

I had a chip implanted in my body.  Cool Ranch Dorito's. 

Dad Joke CCCLIII - Special Queen Of The World edition

Our birthday girl brings these:

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?  Bugs Bunny.

I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.

What do you call a bunch of birds that stick together?  Velcrows.

Dogs prepare you for babies; cats prepare you for teenagers. 

Dad Joke CCCLII

Tuna sends in another Dad Joke: I went for a run but came back after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot I’m out of shape and can’t run for more than 2 minutes. 

Dad Joke CCCLI

Tuna sends this in (you're doing all my blogging for me, buddy!):

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but saran wrap?

Clearly I can see you’re nuts.

 

Dad Joke CCCL

Why did the lion eat the tight-rope walker?

He wanted a well-balanced meal.

Dad Joke CCCXLVIIII

My dog's not fat.  He's just a little husky.