The weather for today

Wet.  With continued wet throughout the day.  It's Florida in hurricane season, right?

And to answer Graybeard's question, yes we are within the white cone:

So yeah, it's raining.  But it's not so bad.  Consider:

• It was supposed to start hammering down rain from midnight last night.  I kept waking up because there wasn't noise of rain on the roof.
• While it looks like it will rain most of the rest of the day, it looks like the worst is already over.  It's more than a drizzle, but there's not a lot of wind.
• Back when Wolfgang was still alive, there were times that he didn't want to go out because it was raining so hard.  This isn't one of those rain storms.
  

So we're fine.  My generator started up first pull a couple weeks back (you do run it every month, don't you?) so we weren't worried about all the TV  ZOMGwe'reallgoingtodie!!!11!!

I mean, it's Florida in hurricane season, right?

Anyway, it looks like Graybeard is going to have a more interesting week than I will:

The other is that back in May, I got a reminder from "the system" that I'm due for a routine colonoscopy. The appointment, made well in advance, is for Tuesday. Those of you who have been through this know that the worst part of it is the night before, which is Monday night. With luck, the storm will stay on that track and be centered somewhere near the Georgia/South Carolina border. With bad luck, I'll be having to be working outside while the storm is clearing out - or stalled too close for comfort. Bad luck could mean not being able to put the tower back up for days.

The last time I went through this, I found that some car seat belts would prevent "liftoff" off the toilet seat and the troublesome, messy aspects of uncontrolled flight around the bathroom. The hardware is still bolted to the floor in the bathroom, I just need to remove a nut, put down the belt, and tighten the nut back down. One on each side of the toilet. It's a five minute job but can save hours of cleaning.

I wonder if this is something that NASA and Boeing can use to try to fix the Starliner thruster problem ...

UPDATE 4 AUGUST 2024 14:48: A day like this is perfect to just not go anywhere and watch old movies.  For example, the 1944 Arsenic and Old Lace starring Cary Grant*.  We hadn't seen this in forever, and both of us laughed out loud all the way through it.  Makes you wonder why they can't make films like that anymore.

Arsenic wasn't nominated for any Oscars that year, which seems odd until you think about the other films that were nominated - Double Indemnity and Gaslight to name only two.  Ingrid Bergman (deservedly) won Best Actress that year for Gaslight; interestingly, Cary Grant was nominated for Best Actor but for a different film that year, losing to Bing Crosby in Going My Way.  Just a casual year of films all of which were better than anything produced in the last decade. [/rant]

Oh, and a quick note to all the Florida newbies: it's summer, we get storms here.  Don't panic.  This isn't a snowstorm up north where nobody can drive for a week until the roads get plowed.  It doesn't do you any good to buy out the milk and frozen goods if the hurricane takes out everyone's power for a week.  Don't go to the grocery store for your panic buying, get a darn generator.

To those of you considering moving here from up north, don't.  It's too perilous.

And gas for it.**

* And also Edward Everitt Horton, best know (to old farts like us) as the narrator of Fractured Fairy Tales on Bullwinkle.

** Dual fuel is even better, with propane tanks.

Random photo

Ten years ago, the trails behind the Roswell (GA) Mill dam.  Wolfgang chased a deer there, more than once.

 He loved going on these walks.  I did, too.

Wolfgang's girfriend crosses the Rainbow Bridge

We've seen Sophie here before.  He took a shine to her she to him.  She had a couple sleepovers when her people were gone on trips, and she fit right in with his routine: walks, sit time, and good night cookies.  Plus she liked to play tug of war with him, which he loved.

Sophie has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  Probably playing tug of war with Wolfgang again, or roughhousing with Sully.

That's Sophie on the left, and Wolfgang on the right. 

Face Vocal Band - The Parting Glass

This is an old, old traditional song of parting, popularized by The Clancy Brothers and often played at both New Year's and funerals.  This song is especially poignant to me in a year where I lost both Younger Brother Borepatch and my deeply missed Wolfgang.  May 2024 be better.

Happy New Years, everybody.

Michael Bublé - Blue Christmas

The stockings are now up, but there are only two.  Wolfgang had a stocking with two feet (he had twice as many feet as we do, right?).  He sure loved Christmas, knowing he was going to get Puppy Loot.

Now we just have memories.  I sure miss you, buddy.

Here's a picture of his stocking last year:

 

Holidays without Wolfgang

He was a dog that takes some getting over.  We're getting ready for the holidays and his absence is sort of everywhere.  The Queen Of The World got a new tree ornament this year that sums it up:

He sure loved his Christmas stocking.  

UPDATE 22 NOVEMBER 2023 18:23:  People are asking where you can get one of these ornaments.  It's Wanderprints.  Click on "Ornaments" and it's the first item there.  You can customize it lots of different ways.

Chris Stapleton - Maggie's Song

I took Wolfgang's toys to a dog shelter today.  Well, not all of them - we kept his frisbee, his blue stuffed animal, and a couple of balls that his dog friends look for when they come over.  But I took probably 30 dog toys to be shelter.

After all, Wolfgang always got Puppy Loot on Christmas.  Now we hope that these dogs who have nothing will enjoy having a toy all their own.  As The Queen Of The World has been saying, he was always so good about sharing his toys.  She says that he'd like sharing his toys with other dogs.  She's right, of course.

But this was a hard experience for me.  It was part of letting go, which has to be done.  But it was hard.  Chris Stapleton wrote this song the night that his dog died.  I expect that was hard, too.

Maggie's Song (Songwriter: Chris Stapleton)

Let me tell you a story
About an old friend of mine
Somebody left her in a shopping cart
In a parking lot for us to find

Just a fuzzy black pup
She was hungry and feeling alone
We put her in the back seat
Told her we were taking her home

Run, Maggie, run
With the heart of a rebel child
Oh, run, Maggie, run
Be just as free as you are wild

A few kids later
We moved out on the farm
And she followed those kids around
Yeah, she kept them safe from harm

And she loved to chase squirrels
And playing out in the snow
She'd take off like a bullet
Man, you should have seen her go

Run, Maggie, run
With the heart of a rebel child
Oh, run, Maggie, run
Be just as free as you are wild

It was raining on a Monday
The day that Maggie died
She woke up and couldn't use her legs
So I laid down by her side

She put her head on my hand
Like she'd done so many times
I told her she was a good dog
Then I told her goodbye

Run, Maggie, run
With the heart of a rebel child
Oh, run, Maggie, run
Be just as free as you are wild

I had a revelation
As the tractor dug a hole
I can tell you right now
That a dog has a soul

And I thought to myself
As we buried her on the hill
I never knew me a better dog
And I guess I never will

Run, Maggie, run
With the heart of a rebel child
Oh, run, Maggie, run
Be just as free as you are wild

Oh, run, Maggie, run
With the heart of a rebel child
Oh, run, Maggie, run
Be just as free as you are wild

Wolfgang never had the heart of a rebel child.  Instead, he shared his toys with his doggie friends.  But I never knew me a better dog, and I guess I never will.

My Father's Day gift finally arrived

Wolfgang had a favorite tree that he loved to lie underneath.  We would go out at the end of the day and sit (we even called it "Sit Time" and he knew those words and what they meant - he'd get all wiggly when he heard them).

The Queen Of The World ordered a special gift for me for Father's Day.  I put it under Wolfgang's tree.

Here's a close up picture.

The text reads:

Wolfgang

2012-2023

If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

It's been around 100 days now and his absence still hangs heavy.  We're both still sad.  He's a dog that will take a lot of getting over.

An endorsement (sort of from Wolfgang) for Chewy.com

We have used Chewy as our preferred supplier for Wolfgang's food and meds for like, forever.  They've shipped regularly and on time and we've been quite happy with that.

But that's not why we're recommending them.  Here's why:

When we first set up an account there was an option to upload a picture of your pet.  The Queen Of The World uploaded a pic of Wolfgang.  She expected that a little pic of him would be on their website when we ordered stuff for him.  Instead, we got a US Postal mailing that had a hand painted picture of Wolfgang, painted by one of their staff.

But that's not why we're recommending them.  Here's why:

When Wolfgang died, I went to their web site to shut down any auto-ship orders and that sort of thing.  They had a "Delete this pet" option which seemed to be appropriate, which I chose.  The next day I got an email from their support staff that expressed their heartfelt sorrow for what we were going through.  It wasn't an auto-generated email "So sorry for your loss" but a personal email that brought a tear to my eyes.

But that's not why we're recommending them.  Here's why:

Today the doorbell rang.  It was sumd00d dropping off a bouquet of flowers with a card saying that the team at Chewy was so sorry that we had lost Wolfgang.

They didn't have to do any of this (other than ship my orders on time).  My take is that Chewy hires people who love pets, and empowers them to treat their customers like, well, pet lovers.

The Queen Of The World and I were fans before this, but now we're HUGE Chewy fans.  They've treated us, and Wolfgang, above and beyond the call of current e-commerce.  They've treated us like family - better than some of our actual family in fact.

If you have a pet, Chewy.com comes highly, highly recommended from us (yeah, and Wolfgang - he liked the stuff we got there, from his daily food to his medications).  And no, we have no relationship with them other than very, very satisfied customers.

No, we're not going to get another dog

A bunch of you have left comments about Wolfgang - thanks to everyone, it means a lot.  One comment that comes up repeatedly is whether we are going to get another dog.  The short answer is no.

Wolfgang was quite an unusual dog.  He was literally the best socialized and friendliest dog that I have ever seen.  He was super friendly with both other dogs and people - particularly children, who he always thought would want to play with him.  He was almost always right.

But he also lived to do what we wanted him to.  I've never had a dog that was so well trained, and I give all the credit to Wolfgang.  We've had a couple times since he died that we dog sat, and while we liked the dogs they were conspicuous in how they were not well trained like he was.  And this includes two German Shepherds.  Not at all as well behaved and eager to please.

I was surprised at how annoyed I was by this.  Make no mistake, they were all good dogs, but I was spoiled by Wolfgang.  Spoiled rotten, in fact.

And so, to bastardize Paul Newman's phrase, I don't want to have hamburger after having a steady diet of steak.  Maybe we'll change our mind, but not any time soon.

Happy birthday, Wolfgang

I sure wish you were here to celebrate it with us.

This was one year ago.

See you again someday, buddy.

 

This week has been living in the Valley of the Shadow of Death

Monday was Mom's funeral, delayed by Covid and family illnesses.  She's now with Dad for Eternety.

Yesterday and the day before it was cleaning out younger brother's (formerly Mom's) house.  He was a complicated guy, and the drugs were a part of that.  It seems that he was a fan of nitrous oxide.m  We disposed of all of that, so the house is straighter and cleaner than it's been for years.  But for both those days I was surrounded by ghosts.

Now I'm flying home, on the one-month anniversary of the day we had to put Wolfgang down.  It sure would be nice to have one of his greetings when I get there but the best I can hope for is his ghost.

I've had quite enough of death this week, thank you very much.  Would not recommend.

Eric Church - Like Jesus Does

The Kingdom of the Father is spread upon the Earth and men do not see it.

- The (non-canonical and possibly heretical) Gospel of Thomas

We are surrounded by Grace, in ways sometimes large but mostly small, and (mostly) we do not see it.  This song reminds us that the Lord's ever present gospel Grace is not only here for us on Easter.  He has given us signs if we have eyes to see.  The Queen Of The World shows this Grace to me on the regular - remember, Grace is forgiveness that is undeserved but granted anyway.

Wolfgang showed this unconditional love to me, too.  It wasn't exactly Grace, but he loved me like Jesus does.  We see ourselves reflected in our dog's eyes, not as we are but as we would like to be.  This song reminds us that this is how the Lord looks at us, too.

She Loves Me Like Jesus Does (Songwriters: Casey Beathard, Monty Criswell)

I'm a long gone Waylon song on vinyl, 
I'm a backroad sinner at a tent revival, 
She believes in me like she believes her bible, 
And loves me like Jesus does.

I'm a lead foot leaning on a suped up Chevy, 
I'm a good ol' boy, drinking whiskey and rye on the levee, 
But she carries me, when my sins make me heavy, 
And she loves me like Jesus does.

All the crazy in my dreams, 
Both my broken wings, 
Every single piece of everything I am, 
Yeah, she knows the man I ain't, 
She forgives me when I can't, 
That devil man, he don't stand a chance, 
Cause she loves me like Jesus does.

Always thought she'd give up on me one day, 
Wash her hands of me, leave me staring down some runway, 
But, I thank God each night, and twice on Sunday, 
That she loves me like Jesus does.

All the crazy in my dreams, 
And both my broken wings, 
Every single piece of who I am, 
Yeah, she knows the man I ain't, 
She forgives me when I can't, 
And the devil man, no, he don't have a prayer. 
Cause she loves me like Jesus does

Yeah, she knows the man I ain't, 
She forgives me when I can't, 
That devil man, he don't stand a chance, 
Cause she loves me like Jesus does.

I'm a long gone Waylon song on vinyl

The Kingdom of the Father is spread upon the Earth and men do not see it.

See it. 

Grace is something that you can never get but only be given.  There's no way to earn it or deserve it or bring it about anymore than you can deserve the taste of raspberries and cream or earn good looks.  A good night's sleep is grace and so are good dreams. Most tears are grace.  The smell of rain is grace.  Somebody loving you is grace.

- Frederick Buechner 

Dad Joke CCLI - Special Wolfgang edition

One phrase that's been heard repeatedly around here in the last week is that Wolfgang would not have wanted us to be sad.  And so it's time to move forward.  So this bit of humor is dedicated to a life well spent with Wolfgang.

Why can't dogs watch movies at home?

Because they always hit the "paws" button. 

Mo Pitney - Just a Dog

It seems that Wolfgang made his first appearance in these saturday country music posts on September 1, 2012.  The song was Burl Ives, I found my best friend in the Dog Pound.  It had this photo which made me smile and also brought a tear to my eye.

He sure loved lying on the grass, from when he was a little pup.  Here in Florida, he and I would sit out on the grass at the end of the day, watching the world go by.  The Queen Of The World and I called it "Sit Time", and he always got excited when I said those words.

This week has been a whole lot of him not being there.  This song is all about that.

Just A Dog (Songwriter: Mo Pitney)

Ten years ago I was on my way home,

saw her walking on the side of the highway alone.
It was raining like hell and I kept telling myself
"not my problem, keep on driving, just like everybody else."
Why should I be the one pulling over on the shoulder at night?

It's just a dog, right?

From the cab of my truck, to the foot of my bed,
to a new pair of boots that she chewed in shreds.

Digging holes in the yard, chasing cars down the street
to one gutter and when I found her, I thought it hit me.
Took half of my savings to save her, and I didn't think twice.

It's just a dog, right?

Just an old mutt riding shotgun, getting my seats all muddy.
Just the one who I come home to, just my best fishin' buddy.
We were walking that spring in the sand on the beach.
You know she was the reason, Amy walked up to me.
She lost her place on the couch, but she kept her cool.
She was crazy about Amy and she knew I was too.
And the night that girl left me, she kept me from losing my mind.

But it's just a dog, right?

It's 83° today and man I can hardly wait to get this truck down to the lake,
I bet the bass' are hittin'.
Boats in my rear view mirror, got my... tackle box and all my gear,
the wind is right, the sky is clear, there's only one thing missin'.
Just an old mutt riding shotgun in my seats on my knees.
It just hit me she's not with me like she was this past Sunday.
Why am I pulling over on the shoulder with tears in my eyes?

It's just a dog, right?
She was just a dog, right?

We see ourselves reflected in our dog's eyes ...

... not as we are, but as we would like to be.  Wolfgang is most noticeable by his absence - no greeting at the door when I come home, no canine friend sleeping in his usual spot, no morning greeting when I wake up, no goodnight dog biscuits.

What's worst of all is in the mirror, all I see is me as I am.  It sure was better with him.

 

All of Man's virtues, with none of his vices

If Ike wants a friend in Washington, he should get a dog.

- Harry Truman, on Eisenhauer's 1953 Inauguration

It was 2012.  I was done with the Atlanta-Austin shuttle.  What I found was that my family liked me being away from home all the time, as long as the paycheck cleared.  My soon-to-be-ex was increasingly angry and dismissive; my two surly teenage sons were, well, increasingly surly.

And so I channeled my inner Ike and got a dog.  I wanted something that I knew would love me, without asking for anything in return (except for love and kindness, that is).  This was Wolfgang's introduction to this blog.

I didn't know just what an extraordinary friend I had brought into the house.  I did a better job socializing and training him than I had on my old German Shepherd, Jack.  30 years of me growing up helped a lot there.  But Wolfgang was something special.  He loved going to the dog park (morning and evening) which I never did with Jack, and so he became comfortable and social around all the other dogs.  I took Wolfgang on walks in the woods, like I had with Jack.  But as Wolfgang grew, so did his personality.  He had a gusto for life when it was him and me spending time together.  I was his Dad, but he was my friend and companion.

My marriage augured into the ground, and I met The Queen Of The World.  Wolfgang discovered what I was learning, that she was extraordinarily caring.  She made sure his food and water dishes were clean and full.  She gave him a bed (a folded up blanket, but it was his place) which he had never had before.  She gave him his first stuffed toy, which we called his "baby".  He'd never had one before.  I was his Dad, and did things with him.  She quickly became his Mom, and did things for him.  Wolfgang loved her immediately.  

He loved her even when she took his baby and put it in the washing machine.  He lost his mind - it was HIS baby!  He relaxed when she took it out of the washer, and then lost his mind all over again when she put it in the dryer.  But The Queen Of The World made sure he had his own bed to sleep on, and his baby to sleep with him.

Pretty soon she replaced the blanket with an actual bed for him.

She was a great Mom for him.  She got him his first Frisbee.  I threw tennis balls for him to chase, and she noticed that he would catch them when I lobbed them to him.  So she got soft Frisbees and he took to that like a duck takes to water.  He would get huge hang time jumping for them - it was like a shark hitting a tuna.  The Frisbee in the photo below is at least seven feet off the ground.  We met most of the folks in the neighborhood because everyone noticed the big, good looking dog carrying the Frisbee.  The neighborhood kids in particular all wanted to throw it for him.  Wolfgang quickly learned that kids just wanted to play with him.  He loved kids, and they loved him.  The neighborhood Moms all relaxed when they watched everyone having fun with the big Frisbee dog.

Unlike Jack, he also loved being around other dogs.  He would play at the dog park, and was always good about sharing his Frisbee.  I've never seen a dog get along with other dogs as well as he did.

The Queen got him a raincoat, because I would take him out, rain or shine.  She called him the "Morton Salt dog".

You see, we'd go look for deer lurking around Castle Borepatch and sometimes it rained.  Sometimes it didn't.  Whichever, we had our time together every day.

The Queen Of The World and he had time together every day, too.  Christmas was always special, because she filled his stocking to overflowing.  He always got excited when she hung his stocking with ours.  He knew she was taking care of him, in a way he hadn't ever had before.

The move to Florida was good for him, as it was to us.  His back and hips were going bad, and he didn't have cold and snow to deal with, or stairs to navigate.  And while there weren't many deer, there were a lot of cows.  He loved saying hello to the cows.

But time and tide wait for no man, or dog.  His back became nothing but arthritis, and the sockets of his hips were jagged bone.  It got harder and harder for him to walk.  If you look closely in the next picture, you can see that he couldn't quite get his back end all the way up, and his back legs are tangled up.  He'd fall and have trouble getting up.  That was two months ago, and it continued getting worse.

One night he fell and had to pull himself with his front legs to where he could stand up.  You could see the pain in his eyes, and while he never used to whine that became more common.  And so we spoiled him, and made the call to the vet.  The first picture of him is at the top of the post; this is the last photo I took of him.

The Queen Of The World made him chicken and rice, and he ate a huge lunch yesterday, and loved every bit of it.  We gave him Frosty Paws which we'd stopped because it upset his digestive system.  But all rules were suspended yesterday.  And then we went to the vet.

Yesterday was a bad day.  He gave us what I had hoped for when I got him - unconditional, devoted love.  The Queen Of The World and I returned that to him - we used to say that he was our child.  We would give him morning family hugs and tell him "I love you".  Soon he was saying it back to us: Ooo OOOOO ooo.  He would match the word length and tone perfectly.

But of course, he wasn't our child, he was our dog.  Rather than three score and ten, we had him for a decade and one.  We are now constantly reminded of him by his absence, where he should be waiting for us but is not.  Yesterday morning was the hardest; rather than him eager to see me get out of bed, it was silence.  I'm sort of wrecked, losing someone like that.  I am sure glad that I have The Queen Of The World with me.  

Wolfgang was hands down the best dog we've ever had.  He was so friendly with both people and dogs, so smart and easy to train, so well behaved, and so damned handsome that everyone in the neighborhood is sad, too.  He truly earned the words from Epitaph to a Dog:

Near this spot rests one who had
Beauty without Vanity;
Strength without Insolence:
Courage without Ferocity;
and all Man's Virtues with none of his vices.

This has been a long post, but it's his due.  I sure would rather not have the occasion to write it.  The Queen and I will never see his like again.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

- Will Rogers

Ave atque vale, Wolfgang.  I sure miss you.

Today is Wolfgang's last day

He can't walk without help.  It's time.

Blogging will be sparse since The Queen Of The World and I are busy spoiling him. 

UPDATE 27 MARCH 2023 20:35: More tomorrow, but he was such a friendly dog.

Liminal Space

 Liminal space is a word and a concept I ran across a couple of years ago. When I understood what it was I realized that there were times in my life when I had experienced liminal space and had no words or framework to process the experience.

In some ways, liminal space can refer to a place and how we experience it. It can also refer to a time period and life experience. It is time outside of time.

The death of someone close can push a person into a place where time feels stopped, where even if you are required by situation and events to function normally in an exterior way, it seems that life is on hold. Memories arise of times and events long past. The colors of ordinary life fade.

In the Bible, it is the retreat into the desert. The 40 days, a symbolic number in the Old Testament, not an exact count of days and nights. A time apart from the ordinary flow of life.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is a modern example of the experience. Ms. Didion's book chronicles her grief following the sudden death of her husband. The suspended time of weeks and months where she thinks irrational thoughts and hopes, awash in memory, wanting to bring him back. The time fades slowly back to normal as she processes the loss and begins to resume her life.

My own experiences with this phenomena is not to fight it or try to move past it. Give it the time and respect it deserves. Look deeply at the loss, your grief, the regrets and guilt you feel. Take the time and space you need.

Decades ago, in what I see as my first adult experience with liminal space, the Catholic church in the town  I lived in was an old, very small, building and it remained unlocked. You could go in day or night. Attending service there was a completely different experience to being there alone. The silence and sense of timelessness was nearly overwhelming. I carried a camera with me once and here is one of the pictures I took trying to capture it on film.

I share this, not to focus on my losses, but to offer my thoughts and condolences to Borepatch. As he mourns his brother and faces the loss of Wolfgang in the coming days, I ask you all to keep him in your thoughts, whatever that might mean to you.

"Honor the space between no longer and not yet."

--Nancy Levin

The Wolfgang Chronicles - VI

A few months ago our vet recommended we put Wolfgang on Adequan.  This is a medication originally developed for race horses that helps with arthritis and joint pain.  Since his back is basically nothing but arthritis and his hip joints are all jagged, the joint lubrication that Adequan seems to provide makes a big, big difference.

So big, in fact, that I don't think that he'd still be with us if we weren't giving him these shots.  Generally he, feels a lot better the day after getting the shot and it lasts for a week.

Except it's not taking longer for us to see the effect, and it's not lasting a week.  Sigh.  And it's $150 a month.  Double sigh.

But every day is a gift.  We're going out of our way to spoil him some each day.