BREAKING: New Global Warming retraction from the IPCC

And this one's big:

TREES will not uproot themselves and embark on blood-soaked killing sprees by 2035, global warming experts have admitted.

The IPCC headquarters in Geneva

The International Panel on Climate Change confirmed the evidence had not been peer - reviewed and will now amend the section of its 2007 report devoted to 'killer trees'.

A spokesman said: "It appears the claim was not based on new data or field research but on that bit with the angry, talking trees in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

In the interest of avoiding panic among my readers, let me emphasize that the IPCC report of Killer Zombie Trees is not true. This is a good thing, as I doubt that a .30-06 round has sufficient knock-down power for a tree.

Although I did hear that some of J.R.R. Tolkein's work was peer reviewed.

Hat tip: Soylent Green.