TREES will not uproot themselves and embark on blood-soaked killing sprees by 2035, global warming experts have admitted.In the interest of avoiding panic among my readers, let me emphasize that the IPCC report of Killer Zombie Trees is not true. This is a good thing, as I doubt that a .30-06 round has sufficient knock-down power for a tree.The International Panel on Climate Change confirmed the evidence had not been peer - reviewed and will now amend the section of its 2007 report devoted to 'killer trees'.
A spokesman said: "It appears the claim was not based on new data or field research but on that bit with the angry, talking trees in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
Although I did hear that some of J.R.R. Tolkein's work was peer reviewed.
Hat tip: Soylent Green.