Monday, March 21, 2011

An analogy, in four acts

Act 1.  An 18 year old college student experiences freedom for the first time, after living at home.  He goes a little crazy, with all night raves, blowing his textbook budget on beer and fast women, and having a ball.  And then after a couple months, he discovers to his horror that he can't pay the bill.  He calls Dad, who (a) pays his bills and (b) makes him move into the basement so he'll study.  He hates this.

Act 2.  The European Union, having watched the disintegration of the Soviet Empire, cuts their military to the bone, to spend the dough on beer and fast women vote-buying entitlement programs.  After a couple years, they notice hundreds of thousands of Europeans being killed in the Balkans.  They call Dad the United States, who (a) plaster Serbia with JDAMS and (b) stop listening to the EU on all matters pertaining to, err, everything.  They hate this.

Act 3.  The Western Elites, having seen the rise of a "End-of-History" world dominated by a Superpower they think they can control, go all "Security Council" on Iraq in 1991.  After a decade of no-fly zones and Our Boys getting shot at every day (plus 9/11), they realize that they don't actually, you know, control the Superpower.  They scream bloody murder as Dad the Superpower goes all Medieval on Sadaam's butt, (a) with JDAMs, (b) with the 3rd ID and the Marines, and (c) pretty much ignores their ZOMG-IT'S-A-QUAGMIRE-WE'RE-ALL-GONNA-DIEEEEE shrieking until things looks pretty stable.  They hate this.

Act 4.  The Arab League, having blown all their petro-cash like Charlie Sheen, sees one of their own shooting his people down like dogs.  They beg Dad the United States to pleasepleasepleaseplease make the Bad Things stop.  When the U.S. responds with (a) Cruise Missiles and (b) other 'splody stuff they get all "Not like this.  I hate this!" and stamp their feet.  Or something.

[U.S.A. exeunt]

I'm not sure if this is a Comedy, or a Tragedy ....


North said...

Love it!

Not the events, but your portrayal.

WV: adalog Not digital with a cold.

Brad_in_IL said...

Smaht. WICKED smaht.

- Brad

Boat Guy said...

As to number 2, even before the EU militaries were reduced, the real guarantors of western European freedom were the US Army, the US Air Force and the US Navy

ASM826 said...

It will all go away soon. We're on our way to being more European, doncha know?

The way we waited for the U.N. and sat on our hands while Kadaffi regained control? Very European.

The coming budget cuts to the U.S. military to allow us to maintain the social programs a few more years? You guessed it.

Won't be any Uncle Sugar to call on when the bad men come. We can call it a Code Pink victory.

North said...

"We can call it a Code Pink victory."

Lost my appetite, thanks.

Guffaw in AZ said...

Those who fail to learn from history are condemned to have George Santayana quoted to them.

And, Charlie Sheen has petrodollars!

I hate this.

TOTWTYTR said...

It's likely that the Arab League is hedging it's bets in case Qadaffy Duck should win this one.

As a friend of mine asked over the weekend, "If all these Arab countries want Qadaffy out, why don't they send in THEIR armies?"

I think it was a rhetorical question since we all know the answer.

Blue said...

Reality is a bitch, eh? :)

Stretch said...

I believe the progression is:

Lissa said...

Dare I ask what Act 5 will be?