Friday, July 11, 2014

.700 Nitro Express - the caliber for Zombie Boris Karloff?

ASM826* posted on what caliber would you use if you (like the lady in the story) were attacked by a crazed rabid deer.  A bunch of you left comments which mostly boil down to "this is my carry piece; there are many like it but this one is mine."

That got me thinking last evening when out with a friend.  His brother and sister-in-law were visiting from New Hampshire and were going to watch the Walking Dead being filmed here in Atlanta.  What caliber for zombies has been hashed to death (T-Bolt is the go-to guy on why shotguns are not what you want).  But even he hasn't reckoned with the first Walking Dead, none other than Boris Karloff himself.

It's from 1936, and is an actual zombie story.  Karloff is a man wrongly convicted of a crime and executed.  His body is reanimated by a mad scientist and he searches out those who falsely accused him.  They all meet unpleasant ends, proving that Justice isn't just poetic, but can write in iambic pentameter.

And so the interesting question is what caliber for zombie Boris Karloff?  It's not just your average zombie, it's Boris damned Karloff.  As a Zombie.  I'm guessing that a regular carry piece might not be enough,  T-Bolt says no to shotties, but you need something a bit beefier than pistol for this, and Zombie Karloff doesn't travel in hordes.  12 gauge slugs?  Depleted Uranium 12 gauge slugs?

Holland and Holland double rifle in .700 Nitro Express**?  DIY Elephant Gun?

* Not only is be bringing the shooty goodness, he's getting me to bring some, too.  Win!

** Yikes!  Those are $100/trigger pull, but if you can't afford the ammo you sure as shootin' can't afford the rifle.  But if you can't drop a Zombie - even Zombie Boris Karloff - with 9,000*** foot pounds of impact force (!!!) then the Lord is calling you home that day ...

*** Double Yikes!  It seems that you can hand load these babies to 15,000 foot pounds of impact!  At that point, I'd expect crew served**** from a tripod ...

Via El Wik, here's the .700 Nitro Express next to a .45ACP:


The dang bullet is bigger than the entire .45 cartridge.  I'm not ashamed to say that I'm not man enough to fire this off hand.  Yowzer.

**** I think that if I sold the house, I might be able to afford one of these.  Wonder if there are any on Craig's List?

6 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Well a big rifle might not be very handy. If you can accept the weaker cartridge, sacrificing firepower for portablility, you might consider .600 Nitro Express. In a revolver

Bob said...

Zombie Karloff? To stick with the time period, a 1928 Thompson with a drum magazine.

Dorsai said...

Pre-gas crisis Lincoln or Caddie. Run him down at speed, then back over the remains.

Repeat as necessary.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Oh Borepatch would never have a Lincoln...

Borepatch said...

T-Bolt, maybe a hot rod Lincoln ...

Scott_S said...

Why don't we go o/u for a cheap big game rifle?