Monday, May 9, 2011

I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune ...

I was a senior in High School when Monty Python and the Holy Grail was released.  I was a huge Monty Python fan, but was floored when Dad offered to take me to see it.  The oddest thing happened - Dad about fell out of his seat laughing during this scene:

Now I didn't have any idea what anarcho-syndicalism was, but Dad sure did.  This was one of those moments when asking him a question led him into a 50 minute answer, and he recited his economic history lesson from memory.

You see, Dad was a scholar of Economic History.  One of his books (on the Industrial Revolution) was even translated into Japanese.  And so he kinda knew a lot about 19th Century Labor movements.

Anarcho-Syndicalism was a revolutionary labor movement, with the whole proletariat/General-Strike thing dialed up to 11.  Where it differed from what we normally think of revolutionary socialism was that it saw the State as a co-conspirator with the Bourgeoisie.  Anarcho-Syndicalism wanted to do away with both.  Hopelessly romantic, it soon faded away, leaving only an echo in post-modern Dada-inspired satirical films.

This all came to mind when Tam up and posted an Anarcho-Capitalist Manifesto yesterday:
If you think something needs to be done, you should do it. You should not assume everybody else thinks the same way or that somebody else will take care of it for you. You and I are not sticks in a fasces or cells in a jellyfish; we are individuals with the right to live our own individual lives without someone else telling us what we have to do.
And that made me think of Dennis the Peasant, and of the Progressive Elite.  You could explain this with Monty Python, but you'd need to rewrite the script a bit.  To save you the trouble, I humbly offer this up for your intellectual edification.  Or something:

TAM:  TJIC! There's some lovely filth down here ... Oh! how d'you do?

Progressive Elitist: How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, Organizer of the Community ... can you tell me who lives in that castle?

TAM: Organizer of the WHO?

Progressive Elitist: The Community.

TAM: Who are "the Community"?

Progressive Elitist: All of us are ... we are all the Community.

TJIC winks at TAM.

... and I am your organizer ....

TAM: Ooooh! I didn't know we had a organizer. I thought we were all
autonomous individuals ...

TJIC: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship, A
self-perpetuating autocracy in which individual liberty ...

TAM: There you are, bringing liberty into it again ...

TJIC: That's what it's all about ... If only -

Progressive Elitist: Please, please good people. I am in haste. What Progressive lives in that castle?

TAM: No one live there.

Progressive Elitist: Well, who is your Senator?

TAM: We don't have a Senator.

Progressive Elitist: What?

TJIC: I told you, We're an anarcho-capitalist commune, everybody does whatever the hell they think is best. 

Progressive Elitist: Yes.

TJIC: We're not even properly a "commune" ...

Progressive Elitist: Yes, I see.

TJIC: ... because nobody wants to hear other member whine about picking up their dirty laundry ...

Progressive Elitist: Be quiet!

TJIC: ... or who left the Patchouli out.

Progressive Elitist: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

TAM: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

Progressive Elitist: I am your organizer!

TAM: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Progressive Elitist: You don't vote for organizers.

TAM: Well, how did you become one, then?

Progressive Elitist: The President and Fellows of Harvard College, with the consent of the Honorable and the Reverend Board of Overseers, in solemn council assembled, have granted me this Law Degree to signify by Progressive Mandate ... that I am an Ivy League elitist ... That is why I am your organizer!

TJIC: Look, a bunch of lefty Com-Symps writing sheepskins ... that's no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power is inherent in each individual, it doesn't come from some farcical academic ceremony.

Progressive Elitist: Be quiet!

TJIC: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power over a bunch of individuals just 'cause some aged Hippy  threw a degree at you!

Progressive Elitist: Shut up!

TJIC: I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some
tweed-jacket egghead had said I was Cum Laude, people would put me away!

Progressive Elitist: (Grabbing him by the collar)
Shut up, will you. Shut up!

TJIC: Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.

Progressive Elitist: Shut up!

PEOPLE (i.e. other INDIVIDUALS) are appearing and watching.

TJIC: (calling) Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed!

Progressive Elitist: (aware that people are now coming out and watching)
Bloody Red-Stater!
(pushes TJIC over into mud and takes all his guns)

TJIC: Oh, Did you hear that! What a give-away.

There you go, bringing liberty into it again ...


West, By God said...


Maura said...

Between you and Daddy Bear's Den...Must be Monty Python Day. Honestly, that dialogue was spot on perfect.

"Or who left the patchouli out..."

When my son occasionally announces to the world that I am old, I find myself saying, in that same MP voice from that scene : " I'm not old, I'm 37..."

Dave H said...

"...just 'cause some aged Hippy threw a degree at you!" HAW!

I've always loved the original line, but I think this one leaves it in the dust.

Keads said...

I needed that this morning thanks! That was covered in awesome sauce!

Tam said...

This is so full of win, it made me squee out loud.

JD said...

Two big thums up on that one! thanks, great way to start the week!

TJIC said...


Thanks for making my morning!

Robert McDonald said...

Made of win, and covered in awesome sauce.

DaddyBear said...

This is the best thing I've read in a very very long time. You sir, are my hero!

BornLib said...

That was brilliant.

Quizikle said...

TJIC and Tam...
A great picture in my mind...

SiGraybeard said...

That, my friend, truly is a black hole of awesome. The world will collapse into it soon, as the rest of us bow to your blogging prowess.

wv: comicr - This post is comicr than anything I've read today.

Murphy's Law said...


John said...

This was excellent!

John B said...

Most Excellent.
Feel free to take an indecent liberty or two with Gilbert and Sullivan!

WV=sobnoser Oh Freud, where is thy sting!

Borepatch said...

Thanks, everyone! I'm here all week - try the veal!

Jose said...

Hey, you tricked me. I thought TJIC was back, but his server gives "Forbidden" errors.

Chris said...

It's too perilous.

TJIC said...


I'm still around on the internet, just not blogging right now.

The blog will be back at some point.