Anthropogenic Continental Drift threatens end of the planet!

A new menace to the planet has been discovered and validated by a consensus of politically reliable scientists: Anthropogenic Continental Drift (ACD) will result in catastrophic damage and untold suffering, unless immediate indemnity payments from the United Sates, Europe, and Australia be made to the governments of non-industrial nations, to counteract this man-made threat to the world's habitats.

And for all of you darn Deniers out there, the Science is settled! Settled I say!

This widening of the Atlantic is taking place at an astounding rate, according to indisputable IPCD scientific data. Today it costs almost a third again as much to fly an Air France jet from New York to Paris than it did in 1997, a clear indicator that the ocean has indeed increased in size in the past decade.

So sit down, shut up, and fall in line.

Hey you Deniers! Get the heck off my lawn!

Hat tip: Maggie's Farm.