Friday, October 28, 2011

Stupid burglar is stupid

Man, you can't say that Atlanta's criminal population is looking to join Mensa anytime soon.  Offered for your consideration:

Idiot #1:
A burglar who ignored a warning blast from a shotgun was shot in the leg early Thursday after breaking into a mansion on West Paces Ferry Road in Buckhead, police said.
The homeowner has the patience of a saint.  First blasting a 12 gauge warning hole into his high priced crib, and then (when the warning didn't take) shooting the perp in the leg.  Must be a cat burglar, because he obviously has more than one life.

Idiot #2:
According to Cobb police, a woman identified as Alexandrea Brooks infiltrated the Walgreens at 3033 Johnson Ferry Road in Marietta and made off with 26 boxes of condoms and a pregnancy test valued at $562.68. Walgreens workers saw Brooks enter the store on Sept. 11, fill a shopping basket with condoms and march out the front door. She got into a vehicle, and the driver took off, but not before workers wrote down a tag number. Police eventually tracked down the driver, who gave police Brooks’ name.
26 boxes of prophylactics and only one pregnancy test?  Someone must be feeling lucky.

I guess that it's a good thing that most criminals are idiots, but come on, Atlanta, step up your game.  You're making the area look like, well, idiots.  You want people to think we're California?
Firefighters and deputies said they are not sure why, but the man climbed into a narrow hole located near the base of the tree. The hole led inside the hollow tree trunk and about four or five feet underground, said Battalion Chief Kris Concepcion of the Orange County Fire Authority.

It took firefighters about 90 minutes to get the necessary equipment and safely cut through the branches of the tree to free the man from inside, he said. The only body parts visible outside the tree truck were the man's head and arms, he said. Part of the body was underground. "Why he's in a tree, I have no idea," Concepcion said.
I do.  He's an idiot.


Bob said...

26 boxes of prophylactics and only one pregnancy test? Someone must be feeling lucky.

She's stocking up for a cathouse, and one of the girls missed a period.

Six said...

Heh heh. I've said it for years. If they were smart we'd never catch any of 'em. We catch a lot.

SiGraybeard said...

Why is he in a tree? Looking for the Keebler elves.

Trying to reenact the Star Wars scenes where Luke is training in the Dark Side tree with Yoda on Dagobah?