Saturday, December 4, 2010

Home Defense

Now that we're armed, we can defend ourselves against vicious attacks from these dangerous predators.

Take aways:

1. The otter is still on the loose.  Let's be careful out there.

2. If you are attacked, don't scream like a little girl.

3. Or turn your cell phone off.

4. Or don't give the video to the TV News.  Sheesh.

I love how the kid tries to act cool - It attacked me, but I pulled my leg away quick enough.  You're not fooling us, and you're really not fooling the chicks.

As seen on Attack Of The Show.


wolfwalker said...

+1 to the newsies for mentioning specifically that the kid's getting rabies shots. I understand the story is funny at first blush, but it is NOT NOT NOT normal for an otter to attack a person like that. Behavior like that in an animal spells R-A-B-I-D.

Any time you see an animal acting aggressive toward something that is neither likely food nor a likely threat, avoid it. It ain't healthy.

ASM826 said...

That video is as good a demonstration of condition white as you'll find anywhere.

Lissa said...

Wild animal. Wild.

Even cute-and-cuddlies can sometimes get their fight mode on. Always be ready for the wildlife to go native!

Paladin said...

Definitely leave wildlife alone, especially if it is "tame" enough to let you get close to it.

Unless, of course, you are paid NOT to leave it alone :)

Home on the Range said...

If all else fails and you find yoursef in a close encounter with one, there are several items you can use to prolong your life span or even ease the pain when you slowly die.

Remember. Learning to recognize when you are about to be to vigorously molested and what tools you can use can shorten the amount of time you are in horrible pain.

Plastic Spork: Probably the most effective tool in otter defense, to use simply apply to your face until death occurs or the animal has wandered off seeking other prey.

People with "face tackle": Someone in the party covered with piercings that are sure to set off the otter. Throw them to the blood thirsty beast. Due to their hardware they will take much longer to be poked and prodded with sharp teeth, sparing you valuable time to gouge your face out with a spork.

Otter Buster 3000 (HB3000): Superior to the HB1000 (a spork) and HB2000 (a metal spork) the HB3000 is the newest tool in personal otter defense. Endorsed by Congresspeople everywhere.

Oh wait. . were we talking about Otters or some other folks. . . .