I'm taking the house, the kids, and my dang kidney

That there's some divorce. Boy, howdy:

Richard Batista can live with his broken heart. He just can't bear his cheating wife living with his healthy kidney.

The Long Island doctor wants the one-time love of his life to pay $1.5 million for the organ he bestowed on her eight years ago in a gift meant to save her life and their foundering marriage.

Now far be it for me to mock a man who is clearly in emotional distress, but we've seen this sort of thing before:


Q. How is a divorce in Alabama* like a Tornado in Texas?

A. No matter what, someone's fixin' to lose a trailer.

* No, this isn't stuck up Massachusetts snobbery; we used to say this in Atlanta, so it's stuck up Georgia snobbery.