Friday, May 12, 2017

An open letter to Disney, Inc.


I write to protest the recent decision by your ABC subsidiary to cancel the television comedy Last Man Standing.  As you no doubt are aware, this was your number two comedy show, and trending higher in a bad time slot - over 8 Million views at 8:00 on a Friday evening means that this can only be described as a huge TV hit.

This was the Queen Of The World's and my favorite show.  And you killed it.

But you and I, we are Men** Of The World, are we not?  We both know why you canceled the show. It was a hit, and getting even more popular, and had an explicitly conservative world view.  That made it fresh, and funny.  And it made the contrast with your lame "American Family" (barely) top rated comedy (8.7 Million viewers and fading) even more embarrassing to you, n'est-ce pas***?  Another season, and your PC subtle-as-a-sledgehammer comedy would have been passed by a (gasp) conservative show that explicitly mocked all of that Political Correctness.

And that, as we both know, is why you pulled the plug.  There are viewership Bourgeois ratings - dry viewership figures showing dull facts like the number of viewers that show shareholder return on investment - and there are Revolutionary ratings - anything that advances the cause of your absurd Revolution.

And so I write to tell you that since you've canceled the only show on your network that was worth watching,
there's no longer a reason for us to tune the television to your network.  No doubt this will be a relief to us both.

In future, I should greatly appreciate it if you did not strive to live down to my worst expectations of you: ideological shills toadying to the Political Power Class while burning their shareholder's money in a desperate attempt to command the tides to stop rising.  That laughter you hear is from King Canute****.  You might know him better as "Walt".



P. S. And we both know that I am joined in my contempt of you and your ridiculous political religion - and your transparent attempt to impose that religion on me - by millions of other registered voters.  The re-elect Trump '20 campaign extends you it's hearty thanks.

* I open with this salutation to annoy the PC loons occupying your executive suite.  Plus, it's good enough for a letter to the (London) Times; stop being so, err, Mickey Mouse.

** ibid (look it up, Goofy).

*** Look it up, Dumbo.

**** As you no doubt recall from the inestimable 1066 And All That, King Canute began as a Bad King, but changed his mind and became a Good King (and thus forgettable).  You seem to have reversed that trajectory.


Chris Nelson said...

Don't forget about the IT department being outsourced and having to train their replacements...

Overload in Colorado said...

This was done after season 6. That's important, as that's when the production costs shift from Twentieth Century Fox TV, and onto the network. It is, however, long enough to have enough episodes for syndication.

Home on the Range said...

Partner in Grime and I donated the big screen TV to AmVets several years ago. I have a large monitor for teleworking and we watch boxed sets of shows we like, no commercials, or stream some movies from Amazon prime. I refuse to pay money to be bombarded with the politics of the network.

Divemedic said...

Disney was running selected guests through magnetometers to enter their Orlando theme parks. I got an annual pass, and spent the year entering all of their parks at will while carrying various concealed firearms on my person. I was only caught once in more than 100 attempts, despite the fact that I was even selected to pass through the magnetometer on three different occasions.
After my passes expired, Disney announced that they would be moving the magnetometers to another location, and requiring ALL guests entering the parks to pass through them. I did not bother renewing my passes to test them.

Divemedic said...

Of course, if you are a gun owner who is breaking no laws, they don't want you there. If you are caught with child porn, they suddenly care about your rights...

Differ said...

Mrs Differ and I do as Brigid; just finished season 4 of Elementary... watched LMS on Netflix: great show

LindaG said...

Hubby and I were very disappointed also.