I write to protest the recent decision by your ABC subsidiary to cancel the television comedy Last Man Standing. As you no doubt are aware, this was your number two comedy show, and trending higher in a bad time slot - over 8 Million views at 8:00 on a Friday evening means that this can only be described as a huge TV hit.
This was the Queen Of The World's and my favorite show. And you killed it.
But you and I, we are Men** Of The World, are we not? We both know why you canceled the show. It was a hit, and getting even more popular, and had an explicitly conservative world view. That made it fresh, and funny. And it made the contrast with your lame "American Family" (barely) top rated comedy (8.7 Million viewers and fading) even more embarrassing to you, n'est-ce pas***? Another season, and your PC subtle-as-a-sledgehammer comedy would have been passed by a (gasp) conservative show that explicitly mocked all of that Political Correctness.
And that, as we both know, is why you pulled the plug. There are viewership Bourgeois ratings - dry viewership figures showing dull facts like the number of viewers that show shareholder return on investment - and there are Revolutionary ratings - anything that advances the cause of your absurd Revolution.
And so I write to tell you that since you've canceled the only show on your network that was worth watching,
there's no longer a reason for us to tune the television to your network. No doubt this will be a relief to us both.
In future, I should greatly appreciate it if you did not strive to live down to my worst expectations of you: ideological shills toadying to the Political Power Class while burning their shareholder's money in a desperate attempt to command the tides to stop rising. That laughter you hear is from King Canute****. You might know him better as "Walt".
P. S. And we both know that I am joined in my contempt of you and your ridiculous political religion - and your transparent attempt to impose that religion on me - by millions of other registered voters. The re-elect Trump '20 campaign extends you it's hearty thanks.
* I open with this salutation to annoy the PC loons occupying your executive suite. Plus, it's good enough for a letter to the (London) Times; stop being so, err, Mickey Mouse.
** ibid (look it up, Goofy).
*** Look it up, Dumbo.
**** As you no doubt recall from the inestimable 1066 And All That, King Canute began as a Bad King, but changed his mind and became a Good King (and thus forgettable). You seem to have reversed that trajectory.