Dad Joke CCX - special Wolfgang edition

Wolfgang had his tenth birthday last month and that makes him a Senior Citizen dog.  He's been having more pain in his back and hips for a while now.  He drags his hind paws when he walks, and has worn down his claws until they bleed.  We have shoes for him which he likes - I think that he knows that we're doing this to make him more comfortable.

Our goal is to keep him comfortable and with a high quality of life for the time we still have with him.  But it makes me sad to see the trajectory that our four legged child* is on. 

So there will be more Wolfgang-themed material.  Including this: how many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?  The answer, of course, depends on the breed.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? 

German Shepherd: I'll replace the bulb after  I've done a perimeter check to make sure that everyone is OK.

Border Collie: I'll do it, and I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First let me put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? I can't see any light bulb!

* That's how The Queen Of The World and I refer to him.

It's twin fuselage airplane day

There must be something in the water or something.  First, Tam posts about the F-82 twin Mustang fighter.  I posted about it quite a while back, but Tam's idea is pretty cool. 

Next up, Mr. Garibaldi posts about a DARPA project for a hybrid ground effect/seaplane heavy lifter that could deliver cargo all the way across the Pacific ocean in a day.  It is also twin fuselage.

Lastly, via a Wikiwander I wan across a twin fuselage variant of the Messerschmitt BF-109.  The Z or "Zwilling" version was an interceptor which would have been armed with five 30mm cannon which would have been a bad day for the Eighth Air Force.  Only one seems to have been built and it was destroyed in an air raid before it could fly.

Pretty strange to find all of this all at the same time.

Hector Berlioz - Royal Hunt and Storm

Congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning, who eliminated the New York Rangers last night to advance to the Stanley Cup finals.  The Lightning have won the Cup the last two years and will now play Colorado for the Threepeat.  This is pretty rare, although the Rangers did four in a row in the early 1980s.

Since it is Sunday Morning, classical music is on the menu.  To congratulate the Lightning, this is perhaps the greatest classical composition about lightning - even greater than Beethoven's Symphony no. 6 (Pastoral), made famous in Disney's Fantasia. 

Hector Berlioz was an interesting fellow.  He was a free thinker and a rebel in a rigidly conformist period, and so his music runs a wide gamut from groundbreaking (like his Symphony Fantastique) to pedestrian (but commercially successful).  He was a lover of both Shakespeare and classical literature, and was encouraged by his patron to combine these loves.  He chose the story of the Trojan War as told in Virgil's The Aeneid, written in grand Shakespearean tradition.  The 1858 Les Troyens is  certainly his greatest Opera, and perhaps his greatest work.  Certainly it was his most ambitious, taking four years to complete.  It was so long that he struggled to get it staged, eventually breaking it into two parts (The Fall Of Troy and The Trojans At Carthage).

In this section of the Opera a sudden summer storm blows up causing the lovers to take refuge in a cave.  A lightning bolt hits a tree, much to the delight of the nearby satyrs and fauns who pick up burning branches and dance around with them.  The Romantic Movement was nothing if not romantic.

But no more mean tweets, amirite?

The Queen Of The World saw this on the Book of Faces.

 

Quote Of The Day: the fish rots from the head edition

Larry Lambert brings it:

Imagine that you are in a trench somewhere, waiting for your commander-in-chief, creepy Joe Brandon to order you over the top into wire, pre-sighted artillery, land mines, and enemy machineguns for the glory of the regime

And then ask yourself why the US military is falling way short on enlistment quotas.

It’s not just the tranny thing or the “let’s all be queer” mantras that the generals and admirals chant.

It's an interesting post with a lot more, including Alexander the Great.  Joe Biden is no Alexander the Great.

A Gun Control "Conundrum"

Since Miguel left Florida, there's been a noticeable drop off in local gun news.  Let me step into the breach.  The Miami Herald is upset about a Florida law that says if you sue a gun store or manufacturer for legally selling a gun to someone, you can get dinged with a bill for their attorney's fees:

The Guttenbergs have sought to pursue a lawsuit against Smith & Wesson and Sunrise Tactical Supply, a store that sold the Smith & Wesson-made gun used in the mass shooting. 

But as a precursor, the Guttenbergs went to court to try to get a ruling about whether a state law shields gun makers and sellers from such lawsuits. That is particularly important, they argue, because part of state law could force them to pay attorney fees and other costs if they pursue a lawsuit and ultimately find out that the gun businesses were shielded. A circuit judge, however, dismissed the Guttenbergs’ request for such a ruling, known as a declaratory judgment. That spurred them to go to the appeals court, with their attorney writing in a brief that the Guttenbergs are faced with a “conundrum.”

What "conundrum"?

“Plaintiffs’ declaratory-judgment action is a textbook request for an improper advisory opinion,” Smith & Wesson attorneys wrote in a March brief. “The claims seek answers to hypothetical questions that may possibly arise only in the future. The trial court correctly recognized that plaintiffs are not entitled to a legal opinion preemptively depriving defendants of a potential affirmative defense before plaintiffs even file the claims to which the defense may or may not apply.”

Remember, Nikolas Cruz passed a background check when he bought the gun he used in the Parkland school shooting.  The FBI admitted that they dropped the ball, and paid $125M to survivors because they didn't follow up on a tip that would have stopped the attack.  The Broward County school system also settled a lawsuit with survivors because they dropped the ball here too.  This is all public record (I know, Wikipedia, but even they say this).  The only conundrum is why the public officials responsible have not been flogged in the public square for their incompetence.

It seems that the conundrum facing the Guttenbergs is whether to leave Florida for a State with insane gun laws.  In the meantime, kudos to the Florida Legislature for passing a law that (a) protects lawful commerce in firearms, and (b) annoys all The Right Sort Of People like the Miami Herald.  In the meantime, don't New York my Florida.

The Queen Of The World points out a charity raffle for a good cause:

=======================

In cased you missed it, we have very exciting news! How would you like to win a brand new Harley Davidson OR $15,000 in cash?

Well - you can. Today I'm just following up with you to let you know that we have officially launched our Hero Co Moto Sweepstakes!

Chances are VERY HIGH that you can be the grand prize winner (The Harley OR 15k Cash...your choice)

Here's how it works -

Our goal is to raise $100,000 to help pair Veterans with trained service dogs, in time for July 4th. If you make a donation you get entries into the Moto Sweepstakes.

Here's what each donation gets you:

$10 = 50 Entries

$25 = 100 Entries

$50 = 250 Entries (Most Popular)

$100 = 500 Entries

$500 = 1000 Entries

Hurry, you only have a few more weeks left to enter! Feel free to forward this to a friend for their chance to win big!

***THE WINNER WILL BE DRAWN AND NOTIFIED ON JULY 4TH, 2022





ENTER AND WIN









WHAT YOU'LL WIN:

Wake up the neighbors when you start up this bad boy and hit the road. You’ll be cruising on a brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle that perks ears, and turns heads.

As the winner, you’ll be able to take the bike or just simply accept $15,000 in cold, hard cash. Whichever you choose is fine by us. (Even though the bike is really freaking cool.)

Above all, your entry will help fund service dogs for Veterans battling PTSD, so we can get these Heroes service dogs at no cost to them – a life-changing gift. (Each entry donation goes towards the $100,000 goal)

Hurry and enter now - Let's do this 💪





WHAT YOU'LL WIN:

Wake up the neighbors when you start up this bad boy and hit the road. You’ll be cruising on a brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle that perks ears, and turns heads.

As the winner, you’ll be able to take the bike or just simply accept $15,000 in cold, hard cash. Whichever you choose is fine by us. (Even though the bike is really freaking cool.)

Above all, your entry will help fund service dogs for Veterans battling PTSD, so we can get these Heroes service dogs at no cost to them – a life-changing gift.

Hurry and enter now!





ENTER AND WIN















MAKE AN IMPACT

A step even farther out

Longtime readers will no doubt be shocked to find out that I am a nerd, and have been for a long time.  Back in the 1970s I subscribed to Galaxy science fiction magazine in no small measure because of Jerry Pournelle's monthly column "A Step Farther Out" about space and space technology.

I've just run across a blog that is basically this for the modern age: Casey Handmer is a former JPL techie who seems to be in one of the many space exploration companies that are popping up everywhere these days*.  I think I ran across his blog via a link at The Silicon Graybeard, but Handmer doesn't focus on "what's the space news from this week" - rather, it's in-depth discussion of fascinating topics that I either didn't know, or topics that I thought I did know but actually knew wrong.  Here is a smattering of some of the most interesting ones:

OMG space is full of radiation, and why I’m not worried
Domes are over-rated
Modular space stations don’t save time or money
The Moon’s water is less exciting than you might think
There are no known commodity resources in space that could be sold on Earth

And the most important of his posts (IMHO) is this one: The SpaceX Starship is a very big deal.  Here's the key bit:

Historically, mission/system design has been grievously afflicted by absurdly harsh mass constraints, since launch costs to LEO are as high as $10,000/kg and single launches cost hundreds of millions. This in turn affects schedule, cost structure, volume, material choices, labor, power, thermal, guidance/navigation/control, and every other aspect of the mission. Entire design languages and heuristics are reinforced, at the generational level, in service of avoiding negative consequences of excess mass. As a result, spacecraft built before Starship are a bit like steel weapons made before the industrial revolution. Enormously expensive as a result of embodying a lot of meticulous labor, but ultimately severely limited compared to post-industrial possibilities.

Starship obliterates the mass constraint and every last vestige of cultural baggage that constraint has gouged into the minds of spacecraft designers. There are still constraints, as always, but their design consequences are, at present, completely unexplored. We need a team of economists to rederive the relative elasticities of various design choices and boil them down to a new set of design heuristics for space system production oriented towards maximizing volume of production. Or, more generally, maximizing some robust utility function assuming saturation of Starship launch capacity. A dollar spent on mass optimization no longer buys a dollar saved on launch cost. It buys nothing. It is time to raise the scope of our ambition and think much bigger.

He then goes on to think bigger.  There's all sorts of things wrong in this world, but what's happening in space is not on that list.  We are witnessing the birth of The industry of the 21st Century, just like aviation was the industry of the 20th.

Pournelle wrote a column when the Space Shuttle Enterprise first flew, comparing it to the DC-3 "Gooney Bird".  I think that Starship is the actual space DC-3.  It will make space travel routine, in ways that we can't imagine any better than someone looking at the first DC-3 in 1935 could.  They would never have figured on Freddy Laker's People's Express; we can't imagine what a Moon Shuttle will be.

* Now this is the 21st Century I was promised. 

Well bless her heart

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has a new ad out, highlighting opponent Stacy Abrams' remark that Georgia was the "worst State to live [in]."  After playing Abrams' statement, the narrator says "Bless her heart."

For folks up in Yankeeland, this is taking the gloves off.

Now I'm not a big Brian Kemp fan (the best Governor of Goergia in all the years I lived there was the late, great Zell Miller).  I guess we'll see how the Georgia voters react to this very southern mockery.  I mean, just because you're insulting someone doesn't mean you can't be polite.

And so, a Southern parable on politeness:

Two Southern Belles see each other at a School reunion.  While they had been friends Back In The Day, they had lost track of each other in the years since.  Here's the conversation as they catch up on what's been happening.

Belle #1: I married the most wonderful man.  On our first wedding anniversary be bought me this fur coat.

Belle #2: Oh, how nice!

Belle #1: And on our second wedding anniversary he bought me this diamond ring.

Belle #2: Oh, how nice!

Belle #1: And on our third anniversary he bought me a Merceded-Benz.

Belle #2: Oh, how nice!

Belle #1: So are you married?

Belle #2: Oh yes.

Belle #1: Does he buy you things?

Belle #2: Yes, he bought me etiquette lessons.

Belle #1: Etiquette lessons??!?

Belle #2: Oh yes.  Before the lessons I used to tell people "Fuck you."  Now I say "How nice!'

The Queen Of The World tells this in a sweet, syrupy southern accent which makes it even funnier.

Dad Joke CCIX

You can't keep secrets in a bank.  There are too many tellers. 

LOLOL [snort]

 (via)

Sultan Abdulaziz - La Gondole Barcarolle

Yesterday was a lazy day for The Queen Of The World and me, so I didn't post anything at all.  But in a Wikiwander last week I ran across this pretty interesting classical music piece, composed by a Sultan of the Ottoman Empire.  I think that this makes the third royal composer featured here (the other two being Henry VIII of England and Frederick the Great of Prussia).

Abdulaziz ruled from 1861 to 1876, and was a big reformer.  He modernized the Ottoman navy, chartered railroads, and implemented all sorts of other improvements to make the Empire competitive with the industrial Western powers.  He was only partially successful, in part to the traditional Ottoman dynastic politics where Sultans were often overthrown.  This was his fate, and he died under mysterious circumstances.

But he had a first rate European education and was a pretty talented composer.  I quite enjoyed this piece.

 

Jubilee

I have been remiss in not posting this week about Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee.  She is now #3 on Wikipedia's list of longest reigning monarchs, and in a week will move into the #2 slot. I do not know the protocol on whether to offer congratulations to Her Majesty but there is no doubt at all that her reign has left the monarchy stronger.  In an era of globalization she remains wildly popular to her subjects.  That's quite an achievement, perhaps unique in the history of royalty.

I think that more than a little of this is due to things like this (from Some It's Just As Well, via Chris Lynch):

Prince Philip once pranked her by dressing as a palace guard.  The expressions on both their faces are quite endearing.  Royalty is a difficult game to play, a tension between the remote and mysterious vs. the human face.  Queen Elizabeth managed that better than any monarch that I can think of.

It must be bittersweet for her to have this celebration without her beloved Philip.  Any while the moniker "Widow of Windsor" was taken by a Queen Victoria grieving for her lost Prince Albert, it's not hard to imagine that it applies in spades to Good Queen Bess as well.  And yes, that one was taken as well but you know what I mean.

And so Congratulations to Her Majesty (protocol be damned).  We here in the Colonies decided on our relationship with monarchy these two hundred years ago, but if you were to have a Sovereign you could do much, much worse than Elizabeth Regina.  And you would be most unlikely to do better.

A Borepatch Presidential endorsement

I like the cut of this fellow's jib. If you do too, then forward this on in whatever social media platform you like - let's make some actual patriotism go viral.

====== BEGIN ======

Today I was asked why I am running for President, and why should people vote for me?  Below is my answer.

Thank you for the question. 

Why am I running for President?  The short answer is because the U.S Constitution says I can and my conscience says I must.

Why should people vote for me?  I do not believe the Office of President should be reserved for insiders, professional politicians or power hungry Americans.  The President is granted the power and authority to lead by the American People.  Therefore, I believe the President must engage in effective and efficient efforts to serve the American people. 

The President should not beholden to follow strict party rules. The President must act on conscience and make decisions that are in the best interests of All Americans.

I hurt to see so much division in this nation I so dearly love.  I am outraged by the erosion of our Constitutional freedoms and Liberties.  I believe too many American Citizens have stopped believing in "The American Dream".  There is apathy among Americans to engage in the political process. 

The talking heads host "Opinion Editorial Programs" on most of our news channels.  The American People fail to recognize the difference between journalism and unbiased facts versus their favorite news talk show.  The Free Press must be preserved.  This right comes with the responsibility to report truth and facts.

I do not believe in "Alternative Facts".  There is only one "Truth".  While I understand some Presidents rightfully feel the media is biased against them, the idea of presenting "Alternative Facts" is absurd.  In my opinion we could call that propaganda. 

I will serve in the best interests of All Americans.  I will not cater to any one person, organization, political party, or P.A.C.  The only thing the President should be obligated to is the Constitution and the American Citizens. 

We have a mass propaganda system in place which has been cleverly designed to divide our nation.  If the "Powers that Be" can manipulate the majority of Americans then they are able to do harm unto our Republic.  If we are blind and ignorant we fall for these propaganda agendas.

If the politicians can get us to oppose one another then we take our eyes off of them.  When we broadly categorize every Democrat as a socialist and every Republican as a fascist who benefits?  Not the American People.

When any politician or political party actively engages in efforts to subvert the American Government or the Constitution they are dead wrong.  Freedom of Speech must be protected but it should be used in a responsible manner.  Elected officials must be held to a higher standard.  In my opinion, if anyone or any party takes action to undermine our Democratic Constitutional Republic they must be held accountable. 

Today we have a far left and a far right.  Do either really serve the best interests of Americans?  No.  If someone attempts to create a socialist government or a fascist dictatorship both are wrong and should be deemed as an "Enemy of the State".

We must unify and unite our nation.  Today our youth spends less time learning about American History, The Constitution, Civics and Social Studies than at any time in our past.  In fact some schools make American History and Social Studies an elective class. 

If we don't understand the Founding principles of our Republic how can we recognize the erosion of our nation.  If we do not engage in Social Studies how can we learn to accept cultural diversity and perspectives.  If we allow the population to operate in fear of one another due to ignorance, how do we create an all inclusive nation which promotes "Assimilation"? 

We need real change.  One person cannot do it alone.  The President cannot implement change without the support and confidence of the American People.

I hope this helps answer the questions and again, thank you.

Respectfully,
Mickey G. Rose for President Of The United States 2024

LOLOL [snort!]

This is a single 9mm round, capable of tearing through the engine block of a school bus for disabled children. Tell me again why you need this to hunt ducks pic.twitter.com/yuONRtWDel

— Cirsova: Mongoose & Meerkat Kickstarter Live! (@cirsova) June 2, 2022

Via Don Surber 

Win Free Ammo!

Ratus emails about a nifty ammo giveaway by Federal.  Thanks, Ratus!

Dad Joke CCVIII

What is a tree's favorite soft drink? 

Root beer.

What causes de-forestation?

First the god news: de-forestation is down by two-thirds since 1980: 

In the past decade, the yearly reduction in forest area was 0.12 percent – down from 0.19 percent in the 1990s and 0.35 percent in the 1980s. In other words, out of 100 hectares of forested area in 2010, 98.85 hectares still green the world today. Emphatically, we are not running out of forests.

This is from the latest UN report on the subject, found via a link from Chris Lynch.

Now the bad news: ancient forest is being clear cut for wind farms:

Lately we’ve been reporting on what many people are calling one of the greatest environmental felonies in Europe: the deforestation of the 1000-year old Reinhardswald, known as the “fairy tale forest”, in order to make way for largescale industrial wind parks to produce “green” energy. Proponents claim the wind parks will save our environment and climate. Clearing the forests has already commenced.

I guess that "sustainable electricity" comes from cutting down thousand year old forest.  Good to know.

Unknown whether the report talks about how deforestation is up in Scandinavia because the forests are being cut down to make wood pellet fuel.  What a weird "environmentalism" that burns the forest in order to save it.

Dad Joke CCVIII

Paleontologists recently excavated the largest dinosaur tibia ever discovered.

Apparently it was a real shindig.

The most famous case of cross dressing in history

You've very likely heard something about this, although probably not put in these specific terms.  Back in ancient Rome, a man was caught disguised as a woman in the house of the Chief Priest (Pontifex Maximus) in Rome.  It was during a festival to honor the Good Goddess (Bona Dia), and the rite was strictly restricted to women only. Except Publius Clodius Pulcher was there, in drag.  It was said that he was there to seduce the wife of the Pontifex Maximus.

And who was the Pontifex Maximus?  Julius Caesar.

The story was a sensation in Rome.  The sacrilege led to the trial of Clodius, with none other than Cicero himself as prosecutor.  Cicero couldn't stand Clodius, and so went out of his way to seek a conviction.  Clodius was influential in Rome, which put Caesar in a delicate spot.  He was the (or a) wronged party, but as an up and comer he didn't want to alienate Clodius' supporters.  And so when Cicero put him on the stand to testify, he went all Stg. Schultz.

I wasn't there.  I didn't see anything.  I don't know what happened there.

Cicero was incredulous, because Caesar had divorced his wife after the incident.  He asked why, if nothing had happened, had be divorced her?

This is the part that you might have heard before.  Caesar replied: Caesar's wife must be above suspicion.

It was all fake, of course.  Caesar knew what had happened, or could have figured it out if he wanted it.  It was more convenient for his political plans to "not know" anything.  And adding to the fakery was his buddy Crassus and the jury tampering that took on epic - and entirely undisguised - proportions.

Clodius walked, because power and money talked.  Those without power and money were routinely convicted on trumped up charges.  Rome's constitution and institutions were in tatters.  Everyone knew that everything was fake, except for naked power.  30 years later the Roman Republic was gone, with Caesar's great nephew hailed by the Senate as Augustus, the first Roman Emperor.

Michael Sussmann also beat the rap.  The jury was tampered with in an epic - and entirely undisguised - manner.  America's Constitution and institutions are in tatters.  Those without power or money languish in prison without trial 18 months after what the rich and powerful called an "insurrection" - seemingly the first in history where none of the "insurrectionists" brought weapons to the "insurrection".

Fake.

Caesar's wife must be above suspicion, but if you have money and power in Washington D.C. you can pretty much do whatever you want.  We will see if a grateful Senate will welcome a strongman to end the civil war in thirty years' time, as did the Roman.