Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Police work is stressful

Because cops have to deal with this sort of thing:
At 5.45pm on Monday 11 August, [Portland, OR] North Precinct officers received a phone call about a chicken wandering across Highway 30 in Linnton.

The police announcement is headed "Officers Unable to Determine Chicken's Intent". And it goes on:

"This is not a prank call", the caller said. "There is actually a chicken trying to cross the road. It's really trying to go into the middle. I had to slow down to almost a complete stop."
The urge to tase the caller must have been exceptional, and the Portland PD is to be commended for showing the manly self control needed when Justice and all the Angels of Heaven were crying out to give the caller a jolly good thrashing.

9 comments:

3boxesofbs said...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter; still going to take it home and have grilled chicken for supper.

Some situations do not need a police response.

Bob S.

3boxesofbs said...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter; still going to take it home and have grilled chicken for supper.

Some situations do not need a police response.

Bob S.

Old NFO said...

Snerk... no comment...

armedlaughing said...

So...
Where WAS she going, and what was her business there?
Inquiring government snoops want to know!

gfa

Windy Wilson said...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the Opossum it could be done.

JPD said...

Please refrain from commenting about the chicken. DHS is currently reviewing video, satellite surveillance, phone taps, emails, and facebook posts from said chicken.

911 caller is currently the subject of an impending "no knock" raid on his house, place of business, and vehicles. Raids will also be conducted on all his relatives, friends, enemies, co-workers, and anyone residing within 500 yards.

Evidence of chicken abuse, ownership of firearms and nerf toys is expected and confiscation of said items will occur.

If you make comments on this post, be prepared to be added to the list of those to be raided. Your name WILL be added to the "suspected terrorist" list.

This blog is being monitored. Have a pleasant day.

Goober said...

Here's the thing...

In a world where silly sonsofbitches like the caller would rather slow down/stop on the interstate and cause a 30 car pile up than run over a chicken, it might be in the best interest of public safety for police to respond to calls like this and get rid of the damn chicken.

There are a lot of people out there that never really grew up into adulthood, never learned to choose the lesser of two evils, and need to be kept like children or they'll shit the bed all over everyone else.

If a chicken is causing traffic snarls because of morons like I described, then it is totally within the duty of the policeto go see to that and do something aobut it.

knottedprop said...

The local unofficial motto for Portland is "Keep Portland Weird" calls for chickens crossing the highway are probably not that unusual and probably more normal than most calls the police get.

Ken said...

Surprised it wasn't a six-foot, four-inch chicken heart in search of human blood.

(poom-poom...poom-poom...poom-poom...)