Taken from "Foolish Questions," by Wood's Tea Company
"Now suppose the elevator guy should forget to close the door And you should tumble down, oh say forty-seven floors And when you reach the bottom and you're lying there inert Some fool will stick his head down the shaft and holler, "Are you hurt?"
Foolish Questions! Your dying words are "No! I was in an awful hurry and that elevator's just too slow Usually saves a lot of time, you know, comin' down this way" Now wasn't that a Foolish Question? You'll hear `em ev'ry day!"
According to The Fat Cyclist (http://www.fatcyclist.com/) this is the proper way to inquire as to the status of a male riding partner.
If you are a male cyclist with an injured male cyclist.
Ask if he’s alright. Depending on how old you are and where you live, you should either end the sentence with “dude,” “man,” or “bro.” It makes the question affectionate and concerned-sounding without being too affectionate and concerned-sounding. Lean his bike against a tree. He won’t trust any tweaks, fixes, or adjustments you make anyway. Wait for 30 seconds before asking if he’s ready to ride. If he says he needs another minute, wait another thirty seconds and ask again. Repeat as necessary. Describe the event, but feel free to trivialize certain aspects (such as the prime cause of the event) and enhance other aspects (such as the high-pitched scream the victim made upon suffering a compound fracture).
As a mountain biker myself I've used these tips (and had them used on me) many times. Remember, the most important thing is the proper use of snarky sarcasm. Nothing is so bad that a good laugh at your expense can't can't make worse.
3 comments:
Taken from "Foolish Questions," by Wood's Tea Company
"Now suppose the elevator guy should forget to close the door
And you should tumble down, oh say forty-seven floors
And when you reach the bottom and you're lying there inert
Some fool will stick his head down the shaft and holler, "Are you hurt?"
Foolish Questions! Your dying words are
"No! I was in an awful hurry and that elevator's just too slow
Usually saves a lot of time, you know, comin' down this way"
Now wasn't that a Foolish Question? You'll hear `em ev'ry day!"
According to The Fat Cyclist (http://www.fatcyclist.com/) this is the proper way to inquire as to the status of a male riding partner.
If you are a male cyclist with an injured male cyclist.
Ask if he’s alright. Depending on how old you are and where you live, you should either end the sentence with “dude,” “man,” or “bro.” It makes the question affectionate and concerned-sounding without being too affectionate and concerned-sounding.
Lean his bike against a tree. He won’t trust any tweaks, fixes, or adjustments you make anyway.
Wait for 30 seconds before asking if he’s ready to ride. If he says he needs another minute, wait another thirty seconds and ask again. Repeat as necessary.
Describe the event, but feel free to trivialize certain aspects (such as the prime cause of the event) and enhance other aspects (such as the high-pitched scream the victim made upon suffering a compound fracture).
As a mountain biker myself I've used these tips (and had them used on me) many times. Remember, the most important thing is the proper use of snarky sarcasm. Nothing is so bad that a good laugh at your expense can't can't make worse.
As always, thanks for the link, Ted.
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