Christmas is the season of lights: lights on the tree, lights on the house, candles in the window. As it turns out, the oldest hymn is about the Devine light. This dates to Roman times - legend has it that St. Athenogenes composed this on his way to being martyred by Diocletian (ca. 305 AD). However, it seems even older than this, dating back to possibly as early as 150 AD.
This hymn is still in use today, as part of the Eastern rites for Vespers, as well as Anglican and Lutheran services.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Friday, December 15, 2017
Yo-Yo Ma and Alison Krauss/Anthony Kearns - The Wexford Carol
This is a lovely tune, dating back to the 12th century. Mark Steyn featured this on his Christmas show last year, with a Anthony Kearns performing a traditional Irish tenor version.
Climate Scientists follow the money
In a very literal way:
Remember this when some idjit blabbers to you about how Exxon has funded "Climate Deniers".
On one hand, I can see why a scientist who is losing his US Government grant (and therefore likely his job) would look for a different (paying) gig. On the other hand, it's hard to see how claims of "scientific independence" can possibly apply to the research done by these scientists. The guy who pays the coin is the guy who calls the tune.French government broadcaster France24 claims President Macron’s offer of fifty grants is luring climate scientists away from the US to work in France.US researchers flock to join Macron’s climate change projectLatest update : 2017-12-13Eighteen climate scientists, 13 of them based in the United States, were on Monday named the first beneficiaries of the research grants linked to French President Macron’s “Make Our Planet Great Again” project, which will see them relocate to France.
Remember this when some idjit blabbers to you about how Exxon has funded "Climate Deniers".
Why it's good that "Net Neutrality" is dead
Yes, it has a happy, fluffy, friendly name. That hides a dark under belly of government control, and in fact a dark under belly that makes the 'net noticeably worse:
For example, one of the more common "net neutrality abuses" that people mention is AT&T's blocking of FaceTime. I've debunked this elsewhere on this blog, but the summary is this: there was no network blocking involved (not a "net neutrality" issue), and the FCC analyzed it and decided it was in the best interests of the consumer. It's disingenuous to claim it's an evil that justifies FCC actions when the FCC itself declared it not evil and took no action. It's disingenuous to cite the "net neutrality" principle that all network traffic must be treated when, in fact, the network did treat all the traffic equally.
Another frequently cited abuse is Comcast's throttling of BitTorrent.Comcast did this because Netflix users were complaining. Like all streaming video, Netflix backs off to slower speed (and poorer quality) when it experiences congestion. BitTorrent, uniquely among applications, never backs off. As most applications become slower and slower, BitTorrent just speeds up, consuming all available bandwidth. This is especially problematic when there's limited upload bandwidth available. Thus, Comcast throttled BitTorrent during prime time TV viewing hours when the network was already overloaded by Netflix and other streams. BitTorrent users wouldn't mind this throttling, because it often took days to download a big file anyway.If it's a good idea, you shouldn't need to lie to everyone to get it passed. Now if they'd only get rid of the "USA PATRIOT" act ...
Thursday, December 14, 2017
The future is stupid
Because in the future, everything will have a Bluetooth interface, including gun safes. What could possibly go wrong?
Dwight points out that the manufacturer is stepping up:
You see, this is why we can't have nice things.
- “The manufacturer’s Android application allows for unlimited pairing attempts with the safe. The pairing pin code is the same as the unlocking pin code. This allows for an attacker to identify the shared pincode by repeated brute force pairing attempts to the safe.”
- “There is no encryption between the Android phone app and the safe. The application transmits the safe’s pin code in clear text after successfully pairing.”
- “An attacker can remotely unlock any safe in this product line through specially formatted Bluetooth messages, even with no knowledge of the pin code…the safe does not verify the pin code, so an attacker can obtain authorization and unlock the safe using any arbitrary value as the pin code.”
Dwight points out that the manufacturer is stepping up:
Somewhat to their credit, Vaultek says they are offering a patch, though it looks like you’ll have to send your safe back to get it. (Vaultek says they’ll cover shipping both ways, which can’t be cheap.)I'll bet it's not. Funny that there's never time or budget to do security right, but there is to fix it after you've cratered your company's reputation.
Saturday, December 9, 2017
A Guest Recipe for the Holidays From Brigid
I got through the work week and too many meetings with the help of my favorite laser pointer (you have had to have seen the Austin Powers movies to appreciate) but I was SO glad it was Saturday.
Even better, we had our first real snow. Abby the Labrador went out on the yard to roll in it twice, the bird feeder was filled and the water dish I put out for the critters (we live on the edge a very big city park system) was filled as I imagine the creek was icing over.
Since it is the Christmas season, it's eggnog pancakes, a recipe I make every December. They are almost pastry-like in texture and SO yummy.
1 and 1/3 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Small pinch of nutmeg
Mix together and make a "well" in the center of it in the bowl.
Mix in separate small bowl:
1 cup plus 3 Tablespoons eggnog
1 large egg beaten
2 Tablespoons clarified butter
THIS is the secret, clarified butter is butter that's been heated in a skillet until the butterfat and liquid separate a bit, it makes the pancakes extra light and fluffy, just heat the butter until it just starts to bubble and brown and add it to the rest of the liquids and immediately pour the liquid ingredients into the well in the dry ingredients. Mix lightly and cook on an oiled skillet til golden. The batter is fairly thick. If it's too thick to work with, then add a couple tablespoons of milk. Do NOT overmix.
Cook on medium heat. They are thick and take a little longer to cook than regular pancakes so don't let the heat get too high or they will burn before they are done and aim for lots of smaller ones, rather than big ones. Serve with real maple syrup.
With a little practice, you can prepare the batter in less than 10 minutes. This makes about eight 3-4 inch pancakes, enough for 2 or 3 people.
Even better, we had our first real snow. Abby the Labrador went out on the yard to roll in it twice, the bird feeder was filled and the water dish I put out for the critters (we live on the edge a very big city park system) was filled as I imagine the creek was icing over.
Since it is the Christmas season, it's eggnog pancakes, a recipe I make every December. They are almost pastry-like in texture and SO yummy.
click on photo to enlarge
Eggnog Pancakes1 and 1/3 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Small pinch of nutmeg
Mix together and make a "well" in the center of it in the bowl.
Mix in separate small bowl:
1 cup plus 3 Tablespoons eggnog
1 large egg beaten
2 Tablespoons clarified butter
THIS is the secret, clarified butter is butter that's been heated in a skillet until the butterfat and liquid separate a bit, it makes the pancakes extra light and fluffy, just heat the butter until it just starts to bubble and brown and add it to the rest of the liquids and immediately pour the liquid ingredients into the well in the dry ingredients. Mix lightly and cook on an oiled skillet til golden. The batter is fairly thick. If it's too thick to work with, then add a couple tablespoons of milk. Do NOT overmix.
Cook on medium heat. They are thick and take a little longer to cook than regular pancakes so don't let the heat get too high or they will burn before they are done and aim for lots of smaller ones, rather than big ones. Serve with real maple syrup.
With a little practice, you can prepare the batter in less than 10 minutes. This makes about eight 3-4 inch pancakes, enough for 2 or 3 people.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Sunday, December 3, 2017
Why you don't ask the Forensic Anthropologist to make the Christmas Cookies - a Brigid Guest Post
Borepatch has advised that he wouldn't have much time for posting this week and asked that AMS826 and myself keep you amused until he returns. Since so much of what I write is fairly philosophical in nature, I thought I'd add something a little lighter tonight. You all should relate - Brigid
------
Office building occupants, whether they are law enforcement or CPA firms, run drills throughout the year, to test evacuation and security. I've been in a building where the fire alarm was going off and people were saying "OK, just let me finish downloading this. . . ". That's not the way to get people to move quickly from their desks.
Simply have someone get on the intercom and say "there are Christmas cookies in the lunchroom".
Stampede!!
The average cubicle worker and free food go together like vultures and carcasses. Hmm, I had better rephrase that. Not implying that vultures have higher standards but in some offices, you could put throw some Purina dog chow in with some Chex cereal and put out a sign "free party mix" and people would start noshing. I know, I used to party with med students who thought Oreos and Jagermeister were "impress the ladies" party food.
But those of you stuck in an office or cubicle all day know the feeling. You're hungry, you're bored, you hear the word free and . . . (besides calories during the holidays don't count).
But how do the various office holiday foods add up? Our office get-together usually involves all of the wives providing hot dishes and the boss providing lots of roast pig so it's grand ( I bring my famous appetizer crack and some pies) but I've been to some in past jobs that left a little to be desired.
Holiday Office Food explained.
To start, there are five types of office party eaters.
The Forklift: They rumble around the background, looking, slowly assessing the terrain, then add full power, reach in and scoop up half of the cheese dip If you see someone with a very large scooped Frito in their hand, watch out.
The shoplifter: They appear totally uninterested, then quietly reach down and grab a Slim Jim, stick it in their pocket and retreat to their cubicle to store it with the goodies from the last office birthday celebration before anyone notices what is missing.
The holding pattern: These folks just sort of make circular patterns around the room, never really stopping to eat. If you ask, they say "I'm trying to decide". While they count the sprinkles on a cookie to see if they'll get the best one, most of the food disappears.
The Homer: Male or female, they'll stare googly-eyed at the food with a "mmmm. . . . pimento loaf. . ." and then grab a portion and head for the liquid refreshments. They WILL be back.
The Hoover: A subspecies of the Homer, the Hoover will eat anything, and everything, sucking up even the last half of a peanut from the empty Chex Mix bowl.
I'm a Homer.
So let's review a sampling from a prior office I worked for, rating the food from most to least popular, with scientific comments. Seriously, add in the types of eaters and it was like watching an anthropological experiment before my eyes.
Chocolate espresso truffles - Have you ever seen one of those once a year bridal sales? Picture that and replace the brides with piranha. Yeah.
Chocolate and peanut butter buckeyes - Even those that hate the Ohio football team scarfed these up.
Bugles - What is it about bugles? They were brought in by one of the office bachelors. They're shaped like little dunce caps for a reason. A mixture of cornmeal, partially hydrogenated yard gnomes and salt, they are really bad for you. Yet once you eat one you can't quit. I leave some out for Santa.
Teriyaki beef sticks - A favorite despite being another store-bought treat.
Gingerbread men: Being homemade, they went quietly into the void rather quickly.
Cheese ball with crackers - Covered in parsley, it looked like a Magic 8 Ball Chia Pet. But with three kinds of cheese, red pepper, Worcestershire sauce and secret herbs and spices, it was a hit. Made by one of the few females in the office, there wasn't even enough left for a tox box.
Brownies - A disappointing performance from a usual birthday crowd favorite.
Mystery meat logs - I'm not sure what they were made of, but they were some sort of spiced meat mixture shaped into little sticks and baked. I could only refer to them as Spampons. They were as popular as the name infers.
Baby Carrots (no Ranch Dip) - You have a room full of hungry guys. This is not food, this is what food EATS. The crowd was less than pleased.
Clementines (golf ball sized oranges) - See above comment
Fruitcake - It and its twin disappeared, but only because I needed a set of wheel chocks for the Piper Cub.
Oh, the humanity
Pimento Loaf- I've not seen this product since grade school. Maybe someone brought it because it resembles bologna with a Christmas tree ornament ground up in it. The first few pieces were gone quickly, predators being tricked by the meat aroma. The remains lay pale and sweating, two hours later, til one of the shoplifters pounced on them.
Office punch - Some sort of juice served with sherbet and 7 up, served at weddings that don't allow dancing since 1954. The Exxon Valdez spill was more popular. Colleagues were observed swilling warm diet coke directly from the 2-liter bottles to get rid of the taste of the pimento loaf, rather than drink the punch.
Gluten Free Rice Cakes - coasters!
Candy canes - They are called "candy canes" because "mint infused glass shards" doesn't sound as appealing. Most of them were still remaining the morning after, even Hoover didn't polish them off. My faith in my fellow coworkers was restored!
You all enjoy whatever festivities come your way!
- Brigid
------
Office building occupants, whether they are law enforcement or CPA firms, run drills throughout the year, to test evacuation and security. I've been in a building where the fire alarm was going off and people were saying "OK, just let me finish downloading this. . . ". That's not the way to get people to move quickly from their desks.
Simply have someone get on the intercom and say "there are Christmas cookies in the lunchroom".
Stampede!!
The average cubicle worker and free food go together like vultures and carcasses. Hmm, I had better rephrase that. Not implying that vultures have higher standards but in some offices, you could put throw some Purina dog chow in with some Chex cereal and put out a sign "free party mix" and people would start noshing. I know, I used to party with med students who thought Oreos and Jagermeister were "impress the ladies" party food.
But those of you stuck in an office or cubicle all day know the feeling. You're hungry, you're bored, you hear the word free and . . . (besides calories during the holidays don't count).
But how do the various office holiday foods add up? Our office get-together usually involves all of the wives providing hot dishes and the boss providing lots of roast pig so it's grand ( I bring my famous appetizer crack and some pies) but I've been to some in past jobs that left a little to be desired.
Holiday Office Food explained.
To start, there are five types of office party eaters.
The Forklift: They rumble around the background, looking, slowly assessing the terrain, then add full power, reach in and scoop up half of the cheese dip If you see someone with a very large scooped Frito in their hand, watch out.
The shoplifter: They appear totally uninterested, then quietly reach down and grab a Slim Jim, stick it in their pocket and retreat to their cubicle to store it with the goodies from the last office birthday celebration before anyone notices what is missing.
The holding pattern: These folks just sort of make circular patterns around the room, never really stopping to eat. If you ask, they say "I'm trying to decide". While they count the sprinkles on a cookie to see if they'll get the best one, most of the food disappears.
The Homer: Male or female, they'll stare googly-eyed at the food with a "mmmm. . . . pimento loaf. . ." and then grab a portion and head for the liquid refreshments. They WILL be back.
The Hoover: A subspecies of the Homer, the Hoover will eat anything, and everything, sucking up even the last half of a peanut from the empty Chex Mix bowl.
I'm a Homer.
So let's review a sampling from a prior office I worked for, rating the food from most to least popular, with scientific comments. Seriously, add in the types of eaters and it was like watching an anthropological experiment before my eyes.
Chocolate espresso truffles - Have you ever seen one of those once a year bridal sales? Picture that and replace the brides with piranha. Yeah.
Chocolate and peanut butter buckeyes - Even those that hate the Ohio football team scarfed these up.
Bugles - What is it about bugles? They were brought in by one of the office bachelors. They're shaped like little dunce caps for a reason. A mixture of cornmeal, partially hydrogenated yard gnomes and salt, they are really bad for you. Yet once you eat one you can't quit. I leave some out for Santa.
Teriyaki beef sticks - A favorite despite being another store-bought treat.
Gingerbread men: Being homemade, they went quietly into the void rather quickly.
Cheese ball with crackers - Covered in parsley, it looked like a Magic 8 Ball Chia Pet. But with three kinds of cheese, red pepper, Worcestershire sauce and secret herbs and spices, it was a hit. Made by one of the few females in the office, there wasn't even enough left for a tox box.
Brownies - A disappointing performance from a usual birthday crowd favorite.
Mystery meat logs - I'm not sure what they were made of, but they were some sort of spiced meat mixture shaped into little sticks and baked. I could only refer to them as Spampons. They were as popular as the name infers.
Baby Carrots (no Ranch Dip) - You have a room full of hungry guys. This is not food, this is what food EATS. The crowd was less than pleased.
Clementines (golf ball sized oranges) - See above comment
Fruitcake - It and its twin disappeared, but only because I needed a set of wheel chocks for the Piper Cub.
Oh, the humanity
Pimento Loaf- I've not seen this product since grade school. Maybe someone brought it because it resembles bologna with a Christmas tree ornament ground up in it. The first few pieces were gone quickly, predators being tricked by the meat aroma. The remains lay pale and sweating, two hours later, til one of the shoplifters pounced on them.
Office punch - Some sort of juice served with sherbet and 7 up, served at weddings that don't allow dancing since 1954. The Exxon Valdez spill was more popular. Colleagues were observed swilling warm diet coke directly from the 2-liter bottles to get rid of the taste of the pimento loaf, rather than drink the punch.
Gluten Free Rice Cakes - coasters!
Candy canes - They are called "candy canes" because "mint infused glass shards" doesn't sound as appealing. Most of them were still remaining the morning after, even Hoover didn't polish them off. My faith in my fellow coworkers was restored!
You all enjoy whatever festivities come your way!
- Brigid
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Anticipation - A Brigid Guest Post
Sometimes the waiting for something is the best part.
Christmas was like that as a child, the build-up to the big day, shaking the presents under the tree, many which had been rigged with marbles or rocks inside to throw us off. Mom would make a couple of different types of cookies every few days, something new to taste and try with a plate set aside with a sample of everything to eat after the Christmas meal.
It's not just Christmas - there are many events in our lives we anxiously await. The birth of a baby, a holiday, a wedding, awaited with great longing, then suddenly over, vanished as if an illusion.
But Christmas Eve, as children was the best. We weren't allowed to open any gifts until Christmas morning. We'd be up before the marked light of dawn, seeing the unwrapped gifts that Santa had left for us on the mantle around the fireplace, Mom and Dad trailing down the hall stifling yawns.
I spent Christmas Eve and day some years back with neighbors who let the kids open the gifts on Christmas Eve. They didn't go to church so Christmas Day was simply watching sports while the kids played non stop video games. I appreciated the invite but it felt no more like Christmas than the 4th of July.
No, waiting for the morning was anticipated glory. I'd sleep in a little trundle bed next to my brothers, trying to stay awake to hear Santa. Mom would come in and lay the sunset colored afghan she had crocheted on top of me for warmth. Outside, the big, fat 1960's Christmas lights would shine through a window, curtains swept aside so we could see. Overhead, an aircraft went on its way, solitary and swift like a shooting star. We'd speak in low tones, as if in church, as outside the door, our wiener dog Pepper's toenails click-clacked on the hardwood floor as she patrolled her domain.
We would always fall asleep too soon, and wake before the sun rose with that flaming stare of quiet curiosity.
But Christmas isn't the only thing we look forward to. It may be graduating from college. It may be retirement. I think of those people that have a countdown calendar to the day they can walk out the door. Some come back to the workplace by to say hello, as if tethered to that place they spent so many, many years. Some we never see again, that place nothing more than a coat they have now flung off in warmer lands.
You think what you wait for will take forever to get here. Then, when it is behind you, those days seemed as they raced past, brilliant and quick, nothing more than a flash of light in the distance, the nights as short as fragmented dreams. Too soon, what you waited for is memory, never to be reclaimed but in thought.
Dad does not wish to celebrate Christmas as anything more than the quiet communion in his home with the minister in celebration of Christ's birth. By his choice, there has not been a tree for a traditional Christmas celebration since my Mom died over 30 years ago. The aluminum tree and color wheel were packed away, never to be seen again. In the years before he remarried, there was neither light nor breath in that house for my Dad and he just wanted Christmas to be over with, once my brother and I were out of the house.
When Dad did remarry, to a widow who had herself lost a beloved spouse- they usually spent Christmas at his sister in law's condo in San Diego - enjoying the warmth. Dad did not wish to spend Christmas day in a house in which my Mom's laughter had gone silent. I understood, spending Christmas with friends, later volunteering for extra flight duty so those with children could have the day off. I understand it even more after losing my brother.
Today, I look up at the flash of a light, here in the fading light. It is is an airplane, the tiny blink of its passing no different than the ones we viewed as children. I know too well, the feeling of that crew, anxious to get to their destination, hoping they won't have weather or a mechanical issue that precludes their making it home in time for Christmas. I know the sense of relief of the last flight of the night, launching into a sky, that like man, in one embrace can assume and appease, even as it cannot forgive.
Many a night I flew on Christmas Eve, eliciting a chuckle from the crew chief when he glanced up at the Cockpit and saw my Santa hat as we prepared to depart. We were only anxious as to the day and time until we were aloft, then like seaman have probably felt since time began, we settled down, finding the true Peace of God and Earth somewhere over 35,000 feet, finding the storms and turbulence, not as some heavenly punishment for our selfishness in wanting to be home but rather a gentle rebuke to curb an impatient heart.
At altitude we'd talk of Christmas past and the hope for Christmas future, perhaps one with a family, our voices quiet, no louder than expelled breath, as the miles ticked under us. Those in the back of the airplane were subdued, anxious to get home, looking down on cities that twinkled like Christmas lights, clouds bunched over some of them, like warm flannel blankets. Some nights the wind would be so strong aloft we felt like we'd stopped, going forward not with will or strategy but simply that groved habit to endure,
The recorded weather data that we'd confirm receipt of, instead of Delta and Echo and other letters of the phonetic alphabet were Dancer and Prancer and such. On more than one Christmas Eve, my copilot would confirm Information "Santa" received and we'd made our final descent, not to a city where loved ones awaited, but simply a hotel room with all the ambiance of a dental lab, it's emptiness bringing that quick sharp sting that I could taste in my mouth as I opened the door.
There, I would sleep like a soldier in the field without shelter but for stiff, cotton sheets, waiting to wake up to the fight and the firing.
Tonight I look up and outside. There will be no Christmas light at home, too many commitments of work and family to get them up this year. But there will be a 1960's aluminum tree with an antique color wheel, found at a garage sale, repaired and set up by my husband. There will be the click-clack of Abby's toenails on the hardwood floors as she patrols her domain. In the kitchen, there will be cookies and a pot of tea set to boil And on the shelf, there will be found a framed picture of a little auburn haired boy and girl sitting in their Dad's lap, Christmas decorations in the background, as he reads them a story.
It was a story of a baby, one not born of passion or pleasure but one born so that more than a Mother's suffering in his birth would be eased til the end of days. It was a story of forgiveness we often can't receive from man, but that is His promise in eternity.
This Christmas season, I'm grateful for the anticipation of days. Christmas will too soon be here and gone. Those that I spent the Christmas of my youth with are gone, but for Dad, his own days drawing to a close. What is left now may just be a fleeting illusion, but illusions, like memory, are as true as flesh, bone, and blood.
Rather than wish that Christmas was here, I'm going to wish it would wait, that I can savor this time of quiet peace, the smell of ,warmth, the laughter of my husband, and the hearkening of a family of angels who calm this impatient heart with a touch as soft as a caress.
Christmas was like that as a child, the build-up to the big day, shaking the presents under the tree, many which had been rigged with marbles or rocks inside to throw us off. Mom would make a couple of different types of cookies every few days, something new to taste and try with a plate set aside with a sample of everything to eat after the Christmas meal.
It's not just Christmas - there are many events in our lives we anxiously await. The birth of a baby, a holiday, a wedding, awaited with great longing, then suddenly over, vanished as if an illusion.
But Christmas Eve, as children was the best. We weren't allowed to open any gifts until Christmas morning. We'd be up before the marked light of dawn, seeing the unwrapped gifts that Santa had left for us on the mantle around the fireplace, Mom and Dad trailing down the hall stifling yawns.
I spent Christmas Eve and day some years back with neighbors who let the kids open the gifts on Christmas Eve. They didn't go to church so Christmas Day was simply watching sports while the kids played non stop video games. I appreciated the invite but it felt no more like Christmas than the 4th of July.
No, waiting for the morning was anticipated glory. I'd sleep in a little trundle bed next to my brothers, trying to stay awake to hear Santa. Mom would come in and lay the sunset colored afghan she had crocheted on top of me for warmth. Outside, the big, fat 1960's Christmas lights would shine through a window, curtains swept aside so we could see. Overhead, an aircraft went on its way, solitary and swift like a shooting star. We'd speak in low tones, as if in church, as outside the door, our wiener dog Pepper's toenails click-clacked on the hardwood floor as she patrolled her domain.
We would always fall asleep too soon, and wake before the sun rose with that flaming stare of quiet curiosity.
But Christmas isn't the only thing we look forward to. It may be graduating from college. It may be retirement. I think of those people that have a countdown calendar to the day they can walk out the door. Some come back to the workplace by to say hello, as if tethered to that place they spent so many, many years. Some we never see again, that place nothing more than a coat they have now flung off in warmer lands.
You think what you wait for will take forever to get here. Then, when it is behind you, those days seemed as they raced past, brilliant and quick, nothing more than a flash of light in the distance, the nights as short as fragmented dreams. Too soon, what you waited for is memory, never to be reclaimed but in thought.
Dad does not wish to celebrate Christmas as anything more than the quiet communion in his home with the minister in celebration of Christ's birth. By his choice, there has not been a tree for a traditional Christmas celebration since my Mom died over 30 years ago. The aluminum tree and color wheel were packed away, never to be seen again. In the years before he remarried, there was neither light nor breath in that house for my Dad and he just wanted Christmas to be over with, once my brother and I were out of the house.
When Dad did remarry, to a widow who had herself lost a beloved spouse- they usually spent Christmas at his sister in law's condo in San Diego - enjoying the warmth. Dad did not wish to spend Christmas day in a house in which my Mom's laughter had gone silent. I understood, spending Christmas with friends, later volunteering for extra flight duty so those with children could have the day off. I understand it even more after losing my brother.
Today, I look up at the flash of a light, here in the fading light. It is is an airplane, the tiny blink of its passing no different than the ones we viewed as children. I know too well, the feeling of that crew, anxious to get to their destination, hoping they won't have weather or a mechanical issue that precludes their making it home in time for Christmas. I know the sense of relief of the last flight of the night, launching into a sky, that like man, in one embrace can assume and appease, even as it cannot forgive.
Many a night I flew on Christmas Eve, eliciting a chuckle from the crew chief when he glanced up at the Cockpit and saw my Santa hat as we prepared to depart. We were only anxious as to the day and time until we were aloft, then like seaman have probably felt since time began, we settled down, finding the true Peace of God and Earth somewhere over 35,000 feet, finding the storms and turbulence, not as some heavenly punishment for our selfishness in wanting to be home but rather a gentle rebuke to curb an impatient heart.
At altitude we'd talk of Christmas past and the hope for Christmas future, perhaps one with a family, our voices quiet, no louder than expelled breath, as the miles ticked under us. Those in the back of the airplane were subdued, anxious to get home, looking down on cities that twinkled like Christmas lights, clouds bunched over some of them, like warm flannel blankets. Some nights the wind would be so strong aloft we felt like we'd stopped, going forward not with will or strategy but simply that groved habit to endure,
The recorded weather data that we'd confirm receipt of, instead of Delta and Echo and other letters of the phonetic alphabet were Dancer and Prancer and such. On more than one Christmas Eve, my copilot would confirm Information "Santa" received and we'd made our final descent, not to a city where loved ones awaited, but simply a hotel room with all the ambiance of a dental lab, it's emptiness bringing that quick sharp sting that I could taste in my mouth as I opened the door.
There, I would sleep like a soldier in the field without shelter but for stiff, cotton sheets, waiting to wake up to the fight and the firing.
Tonight I look up and outside. There will be no Christmas light at home, too many commitments of work and family to get them up this year. But there will be a 1960's aluminum tree with an antique color wheel, found at a garage sale, repaired and set up by my husband. There will be the click-clack of Abby's toenails on the hardwood floors as she patrols her domain. In the kitchen, there will be cookies and a pot of tea set to boil And on the shelf, there will be found a framed picture of a little auburn haired boy and girl sitting in their Dad's lap, Christmas decorations in the background, as he reads them a story.
It was a story of a baby, one not born of passion or pleasure but one born so that more than a Mother's suffering in his birth would be eased til the end of days. It was a story of forgiveness we often can't receive from man, but that is His promise in eternity.
This Christmas season, I'm grateful for the anticipation of days. Christmas will too soon be here and gone. Those that I spent the Christmas of my youth with are gone, but for Dad, his own days drawing to a close. What is left now may just be a fleeting illusion, but illusions, like memory, are as true as flesh, bone, and blood.
Rather than wish that Christmas was here, I'm going to wish it would wait, that I can savor this time of quiet peace, the smell of ,warmth, the laughter of my husband, and the hearkening of a family of angels who calm this impatient heart with a touch as soft as a caress.
Thursday, November 30, 2017
Going Home - A Brigid Guest Post
One thing I made sure was working properly on my last visit out West was Dad's chair that lifts him up to the standing position, then, he can lean into it and gently have it sit him back down (and I have to say the DeBeers Diamond "three months salary" marketing staff have nothing on the folks that sell furniture for older folks).
He loves it, one more thing to help him stay in his home. He recovered from his stroke a few years back better than anyone thought, but he now has a hard time standing and sitting without a little help. Every morning, he gets up and gets settled in it and reads the daily message from "Our Daily Bread" and then the Bible. That's something he's done every day since retirement after his morning work out (Dad was a Golden Glove Boxer and still has a very strict exercise regiment that included swimming and Nautilus at the YMCA with my Step-Mom well into their late 80's. Then it's time to get dressed and get about enjoying the day. I provide a full-time home health nurse (do not ask what that costs) so he can stay in the home he's outlived two kids and two wives in. They make sure laundry and housework are done, prepare a hot meal every day, and play board and card games with him or take him for a drive. Myself, his oldest grandaughter and my cousin have invited him to live with us but he wants to die in this house he's had for 60 years.
Actually, I checked the chair out when he was sleeping in one day, it's quite comfortable and seems to be built better than some of my expensive yuppie furniture.
But dang, I was hoping for an auto-launch feature that would get me airborne.
Initiate Launch Sequence! (that's it??)
The family room, where the chair is housed, has barely changed since I was in sixth grade. My parents built it onto the house over what was most of our huge cement patio. We took a vote as a family one year when I was in grade school. Vacation to Hawaii with the kids (the parents had already gone on their 25th anniversary alone) or add on a family room? The kids decided it. Family room! We can play! We can make noise. We can spill stuff! We can take the TV set completely apart with tools while they're at the grocery store (oh, dang, busted)
On the walls are funny tin signs and Montana art. On another wall are numerous awards and mementos from the community and Uncle Sam, every single member of our family - Mom, Dad, brothers, sister, serving in Defense, Local or Federal Law Enforcement or the Armed Forces, with the Air Force and Navy battling it out for the best space. And the picture of Jesus, which has witnessed slumber parties, ping pong games (we'd set the table up inside in the winter) Loony Tunes, and probably cursing during that 1983 Minnesota-Nebraska college game.
The couch is new, but the quilt is one my Mom crocheted in the 70's. There is another one, but it sits in my linen closet at the Range, where I can occasionally hold it, smell the scent of Chanel No. 5 that only exists in my memory. It's where I can remember her hands working away on it while we kids watched westerns on TV and tried to outshoot Marshall Dillon with our little cap guns under the watchful eye of our Lord.
We've made just a few changes in the house. The main bathroom, tub, and shower were outfitted with handles and bars and a shower chair for ease of bathing. The waterbed was replaced with a quality regular mattress that makes it easier for him to get out of bed, but with a heated mattress pad so it's warm through the night.
The small bath by the family room, though, was in dire need of help. It was always the "utility" bathroom, old faded paint, bare window, no storage at all, and small and hard to get around in as there was nothing for him to hold onto if his balance or strength waned. But it's the one he uses the most.
Before he died, Big Bro took care of the construction and I took care of the paint and the decorating.
Still, with the full-time home nursing aide and lawn service that comes weekly I am happy he can stay in his home. He originally said he wanted to move in with me when my Step-Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I bought an old money pit of a big house on some property with a view of a small lake, a single story, no steps, "mother in law set up" outside of town, the original "Range." I hoped he'd be happy there. But she went into remission, with great thanksgiving, but was then diagnosed with Alzhemers.
He cared for her in his home through that, until her death, years more than we expected, but not easy years for him. But as she was his cross, she was also his salvation and he refused to put her in a nursing home, even when she acted out in anger against her children, not recognizing her own life, but somehow, always recognizing him.
But after she was gone, he changed his mind. His Mom was from Indy, and he enjoyed it there, but he didn't want to leave where he's lived all these years. He wanted to stay where his memories are, good or bad, in his own church, in that old house. I understood and sold the place I had bought, at a loss, but one I gladly bore.
This is the home in which his memories reside, in every furnishing that's 30, 40, 60 years old. There have been other houses, for summer vacations and the old family home in Montana, but this modest little place was always the center of the family. Outside, is the bed of my Mom's rose garden, replanted with other flowers now, yet still containing for him, those pink and red and coral buds and blossoms, long after they've fallen to dust, no more dead to him than the hands that tended them, the drops of blood they sometimes drew.
In that family room, he sits in his recliner and watches his favorite sports, while around him are the artifacts of loves never lost, triumphs and defeats, as well as the living laughter of what little family remains and the friends he holds dear. Few of them are related to him by blood, but rather by the strongest bond - love.
My room at home is virtually unchanged and that was not by my request, but his will. Photos of family and family and extended family all around. The rainbow I painted on my walls in junior high. Dad said I could, but I had to use leftover paint which is why my rainbow is every shade of totally tacky 1970's paint we had. (yes, we had rooms painted those colors!)
There is no view. There used to be a view of beautiful mountains, but they are hidden from where we sit by tall, big box marts. He refused to sell when they literally bought up several blocks, RE-zoned residential and commercial, so we look out the windows to the vast walls of a commercial business, their parking lot lights illuminating the place like Attica Prison during a break. Curtains keep the light out at night, sort of. Dad realizes the value of the home just went to zip, but he doesn't care. It's his home, it's our home. It's where we lived, and it's where he will pass, hopefully, and quietly in his favorite chair, his Bible open and a can of cold beer waiting for when the game is called.
He knows his days are short, we all do. But he's very happy, lousy view and all. The pastor comes and gives him communion regularly. His neighbors have him over for meals and their children come and play board and card games with him. I fly out as often as I can, becoming an expert on the cheap air-fares (how many stops?) My step brother and his wife drive three hours to take him to lunch. My cousin Liz drives up from California several times a year (her partner's Moms live an hour from Dad). He has friends, good ones, but new ones, as all of his original group has passed on. He still works out each day, including an exercise bike and he eats very well with a hot meal daily from the sweet ladies that are his home health aides and the snacks and small meals I leave for him in little freezer containers between visits.
Around the house are small sayings, quotes that mean things to him, verses from the Bible. "This is the Day the Lord hath Made, Let us Rejoice and Be Glad in It" is one that always makes me think of him. Each day is a gift from the Lord, he says, and I can't disagree.
I can't say what the future will bring, but one thing my brother and I both agreed on before he left us. Dad has outlived two beloved wives and two children (he and Mom lost a baby when they were first married) and I'm going to fight to make sure he does not experience any more loss of what he holds dear.
- Brigid
He loves it, one more thing to help him stay in his home. He recovered from his stroke a few years back better than anyone thought, but he now has a hard time standing and sitting without a little help. Every morning, he gets up and gets settled in it and reads the daily message from "Our Daily Bread" and then the Bible. That's something he's done every day since retirement after his morning work out (Dad was a Golden Glove Boxer and still has a very strict exercise regiment that included swimming and Nautilus at the YMCA with my Step-Mom well into their late 80's. Then it's time to get dressed and get about enjoying the day. I provide a full-time home health nurse (do not ask what that costs) so he can stay in the home he's outlived two kids and two wives in. They make sure laundry and housework are done, prepare a hot meal every day, and play board and card games with him or take him for a drive. Myself, his oldest grandaughter and my cousin have invited him to live with us but he wants to die in this house he's had for 60 years.
Actually, I checked the chair out when he was sleeping in one day, it's quite comfortable and seems to be built better than some of my expensive yuppie furniture.
But dang, I was hoping for an auto-launch feature that would get me airborne.
Initiate Launch Sequence! (that's it??)
The family room, where the chair is housed, has barely changed since I was in sixth grade. My parents built it onto the house over what was most of our huge cement patio. We took a vote as a family one year when I was in grade school. Vacation to Hawaii with the kids (the parents had already gone on their 25th anniversary alone) or add on a family room? The kids decided it. Family room! We can play! We can make noise. We can spill stuff! We can take the TV set completely apart with tools while they're at the grocery store (oh, dang, busted)
It has the previous living room carpeting down over the original harvest gold linoleum now and the drapes have been updated. But much is unchanged. The 1970's fixtures for the fluorescent lights that Dad crafted by hand. Still there. That Mexican hat on the Wall? A VERY embarrassing River dance gone South episode from some tap recital of mine. The barre built into the wall where I did my ballet warm-ups was removed and replaced with paneling. It was there under the kitchen window that Mom once took out with a golf ball from the backyard when that was the back window to the house. Fore! (hey, I didn't know Mom knew that other word!)
On the walls are funny tin signs and Montana art. On another wall are numerous awards and mementos from the community and Uncle Sam, every single member of our family - Mom, Dad, brothers, sister, serving in Defense, Local or Federal Law Enforcement or the Armed Forces, with the Air Force and Navy battling it out for the best space. And the picture of Jesus, which has witnessed slumber parties, ping pong games (we'd set the table up inside in the winter) Loony Tunes, and probably cursing during that 1983 Minnesota-Nebraska college game.
The couch is new, but the quilt is one my Mom crocheted in the 70's. There is another one, but it sits in my linen closet at the Range, where I can occasionally hold it, smell the scent of Chanel No. 5 that only exists in my memory. It's where I can remember her hands working away on it while we kids watched westerns on TV and tried to outshoot Marshall Dillon with our little cap guns under the watchful eye of our Lord.
We've made just a few changes in the house. The main bathroom, tub, and shower were outfitted with handles and bars and a shower chair for ease of bathing. The waterbed was replaced with a quality regular mattress that makes it easier for him to get out of bed, but with a heated mattress pad so it's warm through the night.
The small bath by the family room, though, was in dire need of help. It was always the "utility" bathroom, old faded paint, bare window, no storage at all, and small and hard to get around in as there was nothing for him to hold onto if his balance or strength waned. But it's the one he uses the most.
Before he died, Big Bro took care of the construction and I took care of the paint and the decorating.
Still, with the full-time home nursing aide and lawn service that comes weekly I am happy he can stay in his home. He originally said he wanted to move in with me when my Step-Mom was diagnosed with cancer and I bought an old money pit of a big house on some property with a view of a small lake, a single story, no steps, "mother in law set up" outside of town, the original "Range." I hoped he'd be happy there. But she went into remission, with great thanksgiving, but was then diagnosed with Alzhemers.
He cared for her in his home through that, until her death, years more than we expected, but not easy years for him. But as she was his cross, she was also his salvation and he refused to put her in a nursing home, even when she acted out in anger against her children, not recognizing her own life, but somehow, always recognizing him.
But after she was gone, he changed his mind. His Mom was from Indy, and he enjoyed it there, but he didn't want to leave where he's lived all these years. He wanted to stay where his memories are, good or bad, in his own church, in that old house. I understood and sold the place I had bought, at a loss, but one I gladly bore.
This is the home in which his memories reside, in every furnishing that's 30, 40, 60 years old. There have been other houses, for summer vacations and the old family home in Montana, but this modest little place was always the center of the family. Outside, is the bed of my Mom's rose garden, replanted with other flowers now, yet still containing for him, those pink and red and coral buds and blossoms, long after they've fallen to dust, no more dead to him than the hands that tended them, the drops of blood they sometimes drew.
In that family room, he sits in his recliner and watches his favorite sports, while around him are the artifacts of loves never lost, triumphs and defeats, as well as the living laughter of what little family remains and the friends he holds dear. Few of them are related to him by blood, but rather by the strongest bond - love.
My room at home is virtually unchanged and that was not by my request, but his will. Photos of family and family and extended family all around. The rainbow I painted on my walls in junior high. Dad said I could, but I had to use leftover paint which is why my rainbow is every shade of totally tacky 1970's paint we had. (yes, we had rooms painted those colors!)
There is no view. There used to be a view of beautiful mountains, but they are hidden from where we sit by tall, big box marts. He refused to sell when they literally bought up several blocks, RE-zoned residential and commercial, so we look out the windows to the vast walls of a commercial business, their parking lot lights illuminating the place like Attica Prison during a break. Curtains keep the light out at night, sort of. Dad realizes the value of the home just went to zip, but he doesn't care. It's his home, it's our home. It's where we lived, and it's where he will pass, hopefully, and quietly in his favorite chair, his Bible open and a can of cold beer waiting for when the game is called.
He knows his days are short, we all do. But he's very happy, lousy view and all. The pastor comes and gives him communion regularly. His neighbors have him over for meals and their children come and play board and card games with him. I fly out as often as I can, becoming an expert on the cheap air-fares (how many stops?) My step brother and his wife drive three hours to take him to lunch. My cousin Liz drives up from California several times a year (her partner's Moms live an hour from Dad). He has friends, good ones, but new ones, as all of his original group has passed on. He still works out each day, including an exercise bike and he eats very well with a hot meal daily from the sweet ladies that are his home health aides and the snacks and small meals I leave for him in little freezer containers between visits.
Around the house are small sayings, quotes that mean things to him, verses from the Bible. "This is the Day the Lord hath Made, Let us Rejoice and Be Glad in It" is one that always makes me think of him. Each day is a gift from the Lord, he says, and I can't disagree.
I can't say what the future will bring, but one thing my brother and I both agreed on before he left us. Dad has outlived two beloved wives and two children (he and Mom lost a baby when they were first married) and I'm going to fight to make sure he does not experience any more loss of what he holds dear.
- Brigid
Wednesday, November 29, 2017
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
The problem facing AI is the same as the problem facing security
There are people who actively try to fool the system. Consider facial recognition. Even babies are very good at this, so it's been a highly visible research area for AI for decades. The facial recognition systems have gotten pretty good, and so AI researchers get a well-deserved pat on the back.
Or do they?
I'm not at all optimistic that AI will win this one.
Alert readers will notice that to really fool big Social Media, there are some very significant OPSEC issues that you would have to take. As with most things, OPSEC is security's Achilles' Heel. However, as more and more people get fed up with Social Media spying, expect more ways to automate things like this - for example, a photo archive tool that modifies all faces to defeat facial recognition.
Smells like an arms race to me.
Or do they?
Researchers from the Max Planck Institute for Informatics have defeated facial recognition on big social media platforms – by removing faces from photos and replacing them with automatically-painted replicas.
As the team of six researchers explained in their arXiv paper this month, people who want to stay private often blur their photos, not knowing that this is “surprisingly ineffective against state-of-the-art person recognisers.”
AI can beat blurring, but not the inpainting adversarial model.
The researchers went a step further by constructing a realistic “fake face” that replaced the original image, but was perturbed enough to beat the AI while still looking “right” to a friend perusing the image.The problem facing (so to speak) the AI researchers is that it's not just good enough to be accurate in regular use, you have to be accurate even when someone is trying to subvert your algorithms. It's the same problem that Internet Security faces - the QA teams test for "correct" feature/functionality, but then the Bad Guys look for bugs that don't effect feature operation but which do effect security.
I'm not at all optimistic that AI will win this one.
Alert readers will notice that to really fool big Social Media, there are some very significant OPSEC issues that you would have to take. As with most things, OPSEC is security's Achilles' Heel. However, as more and more people get fed up with Social Media spying, expect more ways to automate things like this - for example, a photo archive tool that modifies all faces to defeat facial recognition.
Smells like an arms race to me.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Georg Frederick Handel - Hallelujah Chorus in D Major (from The Messiah)
And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever.- Revelation 11:15
And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.- Revelation 19:6
The biggest mistake that Classical Music (as commonly understood) can make is to divorce itself from its audience. This divorce explains almost all of why modern Classical Music is such a wasteland of ugliness. In earlier days, Classical composers were Rock Stars, and the audience treated them as such. That flame, while flickering, is still burning and even showing signs of roaring back. Handel's "Messiah" shows that.
| Image via Wikipedia |
That continues to this day with the wonderful new tradition of Classical Music "Flash Mobs". Essentially, this is music swooping down on people who, unsuspecting, are simply living out an ordinary day of their lives. The People always rise to this occasion, joining with delight the sudden and seemingly random outbreak of culture. Here's one example, from a shopping mall in Philadelphia, accompanied by the world's largest pipe organ:
Sure, the camera work is bad (it's mostly caught from within the audience), and the sound quality is amateurish (same problem). Watch the people - caught without practice, or even a script, they join in the singing. They take a stuffy Symphony Hall performance and make it their own. They understand - everyone involved understands - that this is our culture. The result is a performance done for the joy of the doing by both professionals and audience. I cannot put into words how beautiful I see these social acts of culture.
And although I have not sung this for twenty years, to this day I could do a creditable job on the baritone part from memory - and could do it justice if I had not gotten rid of the script in the move from Camp Borepatch.
This is Classical Music, as it was understood back in the days when composers were Rock Stars. And quite frankly, some composers - notably Handel - are still rock stars. Just watch the people there when the organ kicks off and the chorus unloads the first line. The audience entirely gets what's going on and joins in, with delight.
This is a meditation on the upcoming holiday. The Lord Messiah was not sent for a small elite, he was sent for everyone, even shopping mall patrons. I post a lot of Christmas music during the season, ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. The music of this coming holiday is one that everyone is invited to join in.
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