Tuesday, October 28, 2014

9,650 days

I got married that many days ago.  Today our divorce decree gets finalized.  9,650 becomes the final tally.

This has been quite an odd journey, and looks to continue odd for some time.  But as one door closes another opens.  Possibilities emerge where there were none.  The road whispers*, even if it's just on a Honda ...





* Err, once the bones are done healing ...

38 comments:

Goober said...

Jeez, man, I had no idea. I'm so sorry...

wyowanderer said...

This too, will pass. Make good use of the time.

Borepatch said...

Thanks, Guys. I haven't wanted to post about it, and I really don't expect that will change.

Robert Fowler said...

You had me beat by a couple of years, mine was right at 9000 days. It can be a bit rough at first. I got lucky and found someone in a place I had never thought to look, plain sight. Good luck to you.

Dave H said...

I'm sorry to hear that, BP. I had a feeling something was up but I really hoped it wasn't coming to this. Still, life continues. But you knew that already.

Wow, this is freaky. I had exactly ten days more than you. The end point wasn't exactly voluntary for either of us though. Sometimes God or Nature gets a veto.

Heal quickly, and start finding your new path soon.

David aka True Blue Sam said...

Damn, that's hard. Hang in there; it's a long road.

Goober said...

Borepatch;

If you can find it in yourself to post about it someday, I'd be really interested in what you think caused the rift.

I've been married for 12 years now, and I can't imagine ever separating from Mrs. Goober, but it scares me to see all these folks together for so long that call it quits. I never can figure out if it was something that was always there, that you knew was always there, and you toughed it out until you couldn't take it anymore, or if it was something that snuck up on you (ie, you were perrfectly happy at 12 years but by year 26 you were miserable)

The reason I say this is that I'd like to learn from it. To be a better man, and a better husband.

I know it rough, and it's personal, but there is my request, for what it's worth. You may ignore it if you choose, obviously.

Borepatch said...

Goober, I don't think I'll post on that, sorry.

doubletrouble said...

Sorry to hear it, BP.
Keep calm & carry on.

libertyman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
libertyman said...

Thought something was up. You are wise to keep your own counsel on this.

Best wishes and good thoughts sent your way.

flagunblog said...

Divorce is difficult. I have clients who lament about the wasted time. As in, "but I have wasted (insert years married here) years!" I remind them that its better then wasting another. I sense you have the right perspective. You are looking forward to the future and good opportunity.

drjim said...

Bummer, man.

My first lasted 7 years to the day.

And no, I didn't get the "7 Year Itch", we just grew apart and the marriage disintegrated.

Glen Filthie said...

Two years ago my family was tearing itself apart. I was tearing MYSELF apart just trying to keep my s**t (and theirs) together. My daughter had gone off the deep end, my in laws were acting like a-holes and my wife just let me flutter in the breeze. My world was falling apart and I didn't know what to do.

I had the weight of the world on my shoulders even as my world unravelled ... when I noticed the bike in the shed. Then everything just sort of fell away. I started to pack.

The wife caught me and came with me on that bike trip and we managed to patch things up. We held hands and walked in the sunshine and rode the motorcycle like we did when we were kids and my ride was a Honda 360T. I ate burgers and fries. She bought some leathers. We left the problems of home at home. When we got back, I told my in laws and daughter that I would be parting the road between us and that I wished them well in the future. My wife and I though...somehow managed to remain together.

My circumstances were vastly different from yours BP...but one thing is the same: That Honda is your salvation. I recommend at least a week of wind therapy. Don't think if you can avoid it, just let the road roll past and leave the problems to your subconscious to digest. A man is fine and dandy looking after the family but once in awhile you HAVE to take the time out and look after yourself too.
Come back to it when your batteries are recharged and your head is on straight.

Ride safe and take care.

Bob said...

You have my sympathy. You hid this so well that I thought your mention of divorce was some sort of metaphor, and not the literal thing it is. My prayers will go out to you and your family as you go through this sad situation.

Dirk said...

I'm sorry to hear that!

Michael Brahier said...

Life is change. I hope these changes bring good things to your life. Try to stay upright, Borepatch.

Brigid said...

Borepatch - I'm glad we could talk of it as that journey went on. I don't know if any of it helped, but sometimes shared difficulty lessons the burden.

Keep thinking sunshine and kittens and if you ever need to talk to either Partner and I, just pick up the phone.

We can also send bacon.

drjim said...

And as we all know....."Bacon heals All Wounds"!

waepnedmann said...

Damn.
Just, damn.

NotClauswitz said...

Well that sucks, sorry to hear it and hope the scars aren't too deep.

R.K. Brumbelow said...

My condolances

Jeffrey Smith said...

[Gets off floor]
Well, that was a little unexpected. But you and your wife seem to have produced an outstanding brood, which not every marriage can claim, even the ones that last sixty years.

Old NFO said...

Sorry to hear that, but it WILL open new 'roads'... Get well soon sir!

daddybearsden.com said...

I'm sorry to hear that, man. Here's hoping for healing and a better tomorrow.

Bill Matthey said...

Love DAC

EricN said...

I'm very sorry to hear this.

Comrade Misfit said...

A bit over 2,700 days for me. Though you could take out about 400 or so for the separation.

Not proud of how I handled it at the time. And that's all I intend to say on that score.

Jay G said...

Gut? Punched.

I'm sorry, Borepatch.

Tony Tsquared said...

Congratulations or condolences whichever the case may be. I wish you my best and if there is anything I can do - reach out I am not that far away.

Hat Trick said...

Sorry to hear this. My condolences.

thesouthtexaspistolero said...

I saw this yesterday but didn't comment. It hit me pretty hard for reasons I can't quite explain.

I'm so freakin' sorry, Borepatch. Even if it was for the best it's gotta suck ten flavors of ass. You're in my thoughts and prayers, buddy.

Ken said...

I'm so sorry for your trouble.

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry. I really hate to hear that.

Cap'n Jan said...

Sheesh, sorry to hear about the divorce. Whatever the reasons, whatever the eventual 'goodness', it isn't easy,

Fair Winds and Following Seas,

Cap'n Jan

James A. Zachary Jr. said...

Ah jeez, man

For some reason I kinda had a hunch and had taken to doing some wondering

Strange resonance from things said and unsaid

You got some healing to do, inside and out, but you already know all of that.


What a long strange trip it's been, eh?

Cap'n Jan said...

I forgot to add that Mr. Sinead O'Handsome (not one of mine, actually) is definitely going to have some doors open ;->

Remember that BBQ cures a world of hurt, so if you find yourself in Austin, we'll be glad to stand you some Texas Medicine.

Fair Winds

Cap'n Jan

Chris said...

I was married for 21 years before she found someone she like better than me and R-U-N-N-O-F-T. The irony was that she stayed with me when I was immature, selfish, and a druggie, and decided to bolt when I was what I thought was a good husband.

I'm still glad I was married, because I learned how to be happy. I wouldn't give up my kids for anything.

On the other hand, fuckadoodledoo.