God's Laughter

We used to live in the Washington D.C. suburbs, and now I somewhat unexpectedly find myself back on business.  As it turns out, Mom is also out here, visiting my older brother and his family.  I had a lovely time with them and their kids' Middle School homework chaos last night, well worth the hellacious drive from Herndon VA to Ellicott City MD at rush hour (yes, I love my family that much).

But on the drive home, I thought of the many years we lived here, Back In The Day.  And so I took a drive down Memory Lane (Rte 29), past the first place we ever owned.  It was a walk back through time, to a simpler day, with simpler problems.

I remember our "new house" and how the (15 year old) air conditioner went out.  Man, it was hot, back in the summer of 1990.  I remember how my Electrical Engineering degree had taught me how to read the information plate off of an electrical motor.  I remember going to an electric supply store and getting an equivalent blower, and installing it.  I remember the satisfaction when the cold air came on.

I remember putting up a steel garden shed at the top of the hill.  Dang, it was hot, that summer of 1992.   I mixed and poured a concrete slab and put up the shed more or less by myself.  I still remember how the steel roof was hot screwing the pieces together.

I remember the walks I took my German Shepherd Jack on, up to the softball fields.  Dang, it was hot on those summer mornings, but he needed the exercise and so off we went.  The shade kept us both alive, and he was pretty good at using that shade to hunt around for softballs.  I remember when he finally died, and how I dug a grave for a 110 lb German Shepherd in July.  Dang, that Maryland sun was hot, but a proper grave was his due.

I remember pushing #1 Son's Little Tykes car up the hill in the back so that he could ride back down it, laughing and laughing on the way.  I remember raking leaves into a pile that he ran and jumped into.  I remember the blizzard of January 1996 where 2 feet of snow paralyzed the area.  I remember shoveling the driveway all the ay to the unploughed street.  I remember making a snow fort with tunnels that #1 Son could crawl through.  #2 Son was 2 weeks old then.

I remember leaving for a new job posting, one that would take us to London.  I remember saying goodbye to my old dog Jack at his grave in the back yard.  I don't expect I'll forget that.

All this came back to me last night, as I drove back down Memory Lane.  All that and more.  Kierkegaard famously said that life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.  That has the full measure of Scandinavian pessimism on display, but I can't really argue the point.  I stopped at the house - I think that I only went back because of Jack - and thought back on all the hopes, all the dreams, all the plans that we had back then.

I'm pretty sure that I heard God laugh.  I don't think that He was laughing at me, but if I wasn't laughing is it proper to say that He was laughing with me?  Maybe that is Him poking at me to get a clue, that He is waiting for me to wise up.  I hope that the Lord is patient indeed.

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say. Yes, to be sure, but He does what is still more wonderful: He makes saints out of sinners.

-  Søren Kierkegaard

If I listen, I think that He is laughing with me.  If I listen.