Teh Funny (Redneck Security edition)

One of the Google search strings that led someone here was "Redneck Security". I guess it's a fair cop.

It was too good not to check out, which led me to Lindsay's place, which had this:

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Go check it out for the punchline. Not only is it funny, I'm fixin' to do it here in the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

I'd just change the note so it's addressed to Jay G ...