He's quite a man. I haven't heard him complain even once. He's not focused inward; on the contrary, he's spending his days helping his family. Just like he's always done.
There's a country music song for that, one that I never much liked when it came out. It was too maudlin, too direct, not subtle enough. Now I find that it's hitting like a ton of bricks.
I usually try to write more about the singer, and the song. Today, my heart's just not in it. All I can offer is a quote from the ancient world, to pair with a "redneck" song:
Nothing happens to any man which he is not formed by nature to bear.My father's quite a man, still teaching his children. It is, though, a hard lesson.
- Marcus Aurelius
How Can I Help You Say Goodbye? (Songwriters: Burton Banks Collins, Karen Taylor-Good)
Through the back window of a '59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away
I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?
I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling, we both were crying
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?
Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same
And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?
How can I help you to say goodbye?
7 comments:
"Nothing happens to any man which he is not formed by nature to bear.
- Marcus Aurelius"
"Marcus Aurelius" must translate as "Mark the Idiot."
Borepatch - big hug.
That's all I can offer. Your Dad is a good man, as you are. Hope the family bears through this well.
You and your family will be in our hearts and prayers BP.
Nothing happens to any man which he is not formed by nature to bear.
- Marcus Aurelius
wolfwalker= moron
life is school. If you don't create the circumstances to create a lesson for yourself, your circumstances will do it for you.
think about the last bad choice you made...
First, you stop and thank God you have the chance to say goodbye. Then, you do it. But, you don't say goodbye. You tell him, thanks for being a great Dad. You tell him all of that stuff. You talk, and then when he is gone you WILL cherish that conversation, and there will be nothing more important in the end.
@kx59, I have to gently come to Wolfwalker's defense, as his many comments here belie the "moron" charge.
The Stoic philosophies are a hard school, and are unpopular these days (no doubt partly for that reason).
I like the way you put things: life is a school. Sometimes you have no control over your situation at all, but can still learn (or teach).
They say that adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it. It's revealed something I admire very much in Dad, even as I wish I had never had to see it.
"Sometimes you have no control over your situation at all, but can still learn (or teach)."
Other times, the Universe simply screws you over, in ways that no one could possibly learn anything useful from. Like having useful skills, and doing everything the 'job hunter experts' say, and everything else you can think of to try that has any chance of succeeding, and still being unemployed for more than two years. Or working a full and rewarding career with a loving spouse, then losing that spouse to a heart attack and your own life to cancer within a year and a half of retirement. (No, that one isn't me, but it is - or was - a relative.)
"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." — Marcus Cole, An'la'shok.
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