Like any club that has grown too large, it has become mired in vacuous debates and split into a thousand splinter factions. Older riders hate squids; cruisers hate sport riders; Harley riders hate everyone, including themselves. The social labyrinth is like navigating a high school prom, except you're sprinting through it at about 75 mph, on one leg, while programming a remote control and probably being attacked by bees.Translation: your bike sucks and you're riding it wrong.
Monday, July 15, 2013
6 things nobody tells you about pwning a motorcycle
Funny, although the bit about a bird building a nest in his helmet says that he's an idiot. Also, the Georgia Legislature did not pass a law making it legal for bikers to proceed at a red light when they didn't trigger the sensor. And I already knew this:
I haven't had any bird nests, but I've found walnuts hidden on my bike by industrious squirrels. And then there are the bees that build nests in my carburetor bowl vent. When that gets clogged, if I don't close the fuel valve the tank drains out through the carb and into the oil pan and air intake. The bike's a rolling Molotov cocktail at that point.
ReplyDeleteAs for waving, I wave at anybody on two wheels, even bicycles. (It's fun to see the surprise on their faces when I wave, and they almost wreck as they try to wave back.) The Harley riders don't often wave back but I figure it's because they're embarrassed because they paid too much money for their bike.
Motorcycles are like tattoos.
ReplyDeleteThey used to be kinda cool until everybody got one to be different like everybody else.
I saw "Harley Dude" last week speeding, weaving in and out of city traffic, and changing lanes in intersections during evening rush hour wearing a high-vis fluorescent green T-shirt that said, "See me now, asshole?" in huge block letters on the back of it.
It would have made me giggle to see this moron impale himself on a Chevy.
Squids, RUBs, suicyclers, show-offs, and wanna-be's are the bane of the sport. Not even the 1%ers are as bad for us as the amateur with skulls all over his bike, riding like a sh*thead bad*ss, and wearing a SOA t-shirt.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that there are old bikers, bold bikers, but very few old bold bikers.
Just like Dave H, I wave at anyone on 2 wheels. Sometimes pull up next to the kid on the scooter and say hi - and I'm on a HD Softail Heritage Classic.
It isn't that a lot of HD riders are embarrassed to say hi. Too may of 'em are just plain snob-headed egotistical jerks who think that only a Harley is a REAL bike. Heh... I'd LOVE to own a Ducati, or a Triumph (even the new ones - always wanted a Daytona), and can definitely see the value in touring on a GoldWing (FAR more comfy than a 'Glide).
It's all about the joy of being on 2 wheels, and it's all about knowing that ANYONE ELSE on 2 wheels is feelin' the joy too. And if a Harley rider doesn't wave back, feel sorry for the b*stard: he's so wrapped up in himself that he's not worth your time.
Live the creed.
Don't get me wrong.
ReplyDeleteI understand the appeal of motorcycles. All the idiots have ruined it for me.
I think about getting a bike from time to time, but every day I see hundreds of oblivious drivers who don't "notice" my 65-foot-long tractor/trailer which is lit up like a circus wagon.
I don't want a bike THAT bad...
burt: I know that when a Harley rider doesn't wave it's not out of embarrassment, it's really because I'm not him. But I choose to behave otherwise. (Although I confess to a little snobbishness of my own. When I bought my Triumph the salesman said, "Don't worry, the Harley riders will still let you ride with them." To which I replied, "That's assuming I'll let them ride with me.")
ReplyDeleteI always thought old Harley riders don't wave back because if they let-go of the handlebars the vibration induced speed-wobble will toss them to the ground - or minimally embarrass (probably worse) them as the bike wallows and sways. :-) Harley© is a Lifestyle Choice®, and they even have a thick, glossy, Harley Catalog™ promoting it as a reflection of YOUR personality. There is a preferred haircut and beard as well - it's become a near moebius strip caricature of itself.
ReplyDeleteSo HD Guys and Glock guys have a lot in common no.?
ReplyDeleteMiss my bike. After 35 plus years of owning and riding motorcycles I sold my last one in 2008 and purchased...handguns and handgun stuff..and my Permit to carry fees..
ReplyDeleteBut after many 'near' misses and as a medic picking or scraping my share of riders off the road, most often because of some nitwit not paying attention. I felt maybe was time. Plus up North here our riding seasons can be short.
Bikers generally wave at each other..
Mostly, except for some whom ride American built bikes for whatever reason..
One group I road with that included all types of bikes and bikers...
Was CMA..
Christian Motorcycle Riders of America.
Was a great bunch...
Other then that road alone..Just liked it that way..
Enjoy Mr Borepatch...always remember rubber down, and never ever, ever, ever expect 'them' to see you!!
Hey where did that go?
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I always figured that Harly riders didn't wave back because if they took their hands off the ape-hangers the vibration induced speed-wobble would pitch them off. Harley(tm) is a Lifestyle(c) Catalog and practically a Möbius strip of self-reflection. You buy-in like to a Country Club.
The Harley riders don't often wave back but I figure it's because they're embarrassed because they paid too much money for their bike.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud, for quite a long time, at this.
Dave H: LOL! I figgered it was /sarc... :-)
ReplyDeleteYeh, my FLSTC cost me dearly, but it's repairable. My Suzuki Intruder only lasted about 11 years before the front brake caliper froze up, and Suzuki no longer sold parts for it. Gave it to a friend - went back to American iron and bought the Sportster.
BTW: NH is a helmet-optional state. I ALWAYS wear a pot - usually just a half-helmet - and there are Harley-riding he-man macho-types who wear headrags and won't wave at riders who wear helmets. One guy called me a "sissy" 'cuz I want to protect whatever grey matter's still up there.
Ssome Harley riders are just plain a553h0l35....
Our state (Oregon) had a suggestiong about the red light sensors: Affix a rare-earth (or similarly powerful) magnet to the bottom of your frame.
ReplyDeleteYMMV, but they say the sensors here detect variations in the magnetic fields above the "lines" in the pavement. If your vehicle doesn't have enough inherent metal to trigger them, adding an extra magnet might help.