Dad Joke CCX - special Wolfgang edition

Wolfgang had his tenth birthday last month and that makes him a Senior Citizen dog.  He's been having more pain in his back and hips for a while now.  He drags his hind paws when he walks, and has worn down his claws until they bleed.  We have shoes for him which he likes - I think that he knows that we're doing this to make him more comfortable.

Our goal is to keep him comfortable and with a high quality of life for the time we still have with him.  But it makes me sad to see the trajectory that our four legged child* is on. 

So there will be more Wolfgang-themed material.  Including this: how many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?  The answer, of course, depends on the breed.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? 

German Shepherd: I'll replace the bulb after  I've done a perimeter check to make sure that everyone is OK.

Border Collie: I'll do it, and I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First let me put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? I can't see any light bulb!

* That's how The Queen Of The World and I refer to him.