Ashley Monroe - You Ain't Dolly (And You Ain't Porter)

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, (in)famous for parties that aren't remembered afterwards.  Of course there's a Country song for that.  I'm not big on the new country music but this is a tip of the hat to the giants of old.  It's one in a neo-traditional style with hilarious lyrics that, in the best Country music tradition tell a story that we all have seen acted out in front of us.

But remember that alcohol and karaoke don't mix.  Make sure that your party has a Dedicated Singer ...



You Ain't Dolly (Songwriters: Ashley Monroe, Vincent Grant Gill)

You ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller and you're a whole lot shorter
Let's dance all night and fill the jukebox full of quarters
'Cause you ain't Dolly, no, and you ain't Porter

Well I noticed you right off the bat in those cowboy boots
Who couldn't help but see you in that rhinestone suit
That's cause I'm the reigning queen of karaoke night
Well if I get drunk enough to sing, hell I just might

Hey now, don't you worry cowboy, cause I'll get you through
We'll sing a cheating song just like they used to do

Cause you ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller
Yeah, but you're a whole lot shorter
Let's drink all night and fill the jukebox full of quarters
Cause you ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter

You'll probably see me country singing on The Voice someday
Yeah and I'm the guy they wrote about in 50 Shades of Grey
Why don't you come on back to my place and you can have your way
Well baby that sounds tempting, but I just can't stay
Oh we won first prize cowboy, let's just split the dough
Honey I will always love you, but we'll never know

Cause you ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter
She's a little bit fuller
Yeah, and you're a whole lot shorter
We danced all night and filled the jukebox full of quarters
Cause you ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter, no
No, you ain't Dolly and you ain't Porter