After so much time in the Army and in combat, I have never developed a drinking problem, high-risk behavior problem or self-destructive tendencies…..or so I thought.
It starts with feeling that disturbance in the force and I know that they're waiting for me. The worst opponents in the world; little Sarah, Mindy, and Emily pushing their baked goods knowing that I’ll give in to the dark side because if I don’t, I’ll start having withdrawal symptoms. Those evil little girls with their puppy eyes, nice manners, and prepared guilt-trip about how much I need Thin Mints & Samoas. They're waiting for me, they travel in packs, ambush you with their cuteness, and have no remorse about selling you cookies once, twice, fifteen times.
They have an agenda, oh yes, they have an agenda! All they want to do is follow in the footsteps of Eileen Collins, Nancy Reagan, and Madeline Albright and they have no fear about crushing you with cookies on their rise to the top. It's been worse since I saw one of them selling cookies and she had a credit card reader on her phone, it means that s--t just got real.
You'll beat me again this year ladies, but we will have a rematch next year!
You might want to find out what the Girl Scouts of the USA truly stands for these days before funding them. They're best buds with Planned Parenthood, for starters. And they would welcome "Caitlyn" if "she" wanted to join...
I have been Jonesing for a Pecan Shorty for years. Just like a Pecan Sandy without the damn grit. Oh, why, oh, why did they quit making them.........
ReplyDeleteAfter so much time in the Army and in combat, I have never developed a drinking problem, high-risk behavior problem or self-destructive tendencies…..or so I thought.
ReplyDeleteIt starts with feeling that disturbance in the force and I know that they're waiting for me. The worst opponents in the world; little Sarah, Mindy, and Emily pushing their baked goods knowing that I’ll give in to the dark side because if I don’t, I’ll start having withdrawal symptoms. Those evil little girls with their puppy eyes, nice manners, and prepared guilt-trip about how much I need Thin Mints & Samoas. They're waiting for me, they travel in packs, ambush you with their cuteness, and have no remorse about selling you cookies once, twice, fifteen times.
They have an agenda, oh yes, they have an agenda! All they want to do is follow in the footsteps of Eileen Collins, Nancy Reagan, and Madeline Albright and they have no fear about crushing you with cookies on their rise to the top. It's been worse since I saw one of them selling cookies and she had a credit card reader on her phone, it means that s--t just got real.
You'll beat me again this year ladies, but we will have a rematch next year!
You might want to find out what the Girl Scouts of the USA truly stands for these days before funding them. They're best buds with Planned Parenthood, for starters. And they would welcome "Caitlyn" if "she" wanted to join...
ReplyDelete