"How you holding up? Finding old pictures is bittersweet, and apt to stir up grief again. (We're 3 years out from losing 2 sons.)"Thee compassion and understand of the post in that comment is palpable.
I am only 8 months out from losing a son to depression. I'm not hiding from my feelings or pretending I am "okay" in the same way I was okay before. Still, life goes on. There is love and joy and sadness is the same measures as before.
I have 3 surviving sons. I don't really know how they are doing, only what they say.
I have a wife, mother to my sons. We have been together for 40 years. What is our relationship? What support do I provide to her and her to me as we continue our lives with this aching loss? She is absolutely awesome and is a gift from the Universe in my life.
I have elderly parents, my mother is battling cancer and my dad has very poor health from a lifetime of chronic smoking. I will be visiting them for a week soon. Fair or not, they will be expecting me to support them in their life journey.
I have friends. Some close friends, Borepatch among them, that rallied around me and care. They want to see me return to life and perhaps don't know exactly what to say or do, but are a source of energy for the love they offer me.
I have thousands of pictures and slides. I had been, before last November, working my way through them, scanning, editing, throwing away. I know where they are. When I go to look at them, I know what I'm planning to do, sort of raise the shields, and I can do it. This one was in an unexpected place, tucked into a notebook, and I had long forgotten it. It was like stepping on a mine.
Parents who lose a child for any reason have a huge reservoir of grief. It cannot be emptied. It cannot be ignored. It will not go away. How you live with that grief (or don't) is a measure of who you are. Lee n. Field knows. And so I can only reflect his question back.
Lee, "How you holding up?" You lost two sons three years ago. I can't imagine or know, but if you want to share publicly, I will post it here. If you want share privately, email me at ASM826 (at) GMAIL (dot) COM. If you don't want to say anything, I understand that as well.