Monday, January 12, 2015

Suggestion For The Corporations

As they begin to consider their interface designs and button positions, I have a suggestion for the big soulless corporations. Since everything seems to have a mic, a speaker, and a computer in it, they need to set up some protocols.

Write some software that filters the audio in the area looking for phrases like, "I hate corporations", "corporations are evil", "I support Occupy Wall Street", and so on. Have it trigger a response where the device says, "Right on, brother, I'm with you! Stick it to the man!" and shuts off and will not restart for an hour.

Since they can already shut off cars, cell phones, and Apple devices remotely, all that is needed is the software to filter the words and the tie-in to the power.

 I'd even be okay if the devices came back on after an apology, "Ohhh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean Apple, I love Apple. Who's the good little iPhone? Please come back."

5 comments:

Tony Tsquared said...

And that is why I drive a 41 year old car. When it was built it was state of the art, but it still has points.

Jerry The Geek said...

Mondays are really boring for you, aren't they?

Borepatch said...

Think of the Denial-Of-Service possibilities! Just shout out "Apple stinks! Steve Jobs is the Anti-Christ!" in any Starbucks to shut down everyone's iPad ...

genericviews said...

An hour isn't long enough. No one learns a hard life lesson in only an hour.

Tie in GPS with active anti-corporate activities, then shut off all access to civilization.

Tie in GPS and match to locations of the entire Islamic world, Africa and China and shut them off the internet.

Goober said...

Points are not a feature. Setting dwell, filing wear surfaces, condensers...

Ugh. Screw points with a rusty pineapple.