Friday, November 15, 2013

Sea stories, told damn well

I had not realized that Comrade Misfit had other blogs.  She does, one of which is about her time in the Navy, and it's filled to overflowing with sea stories that are well worth your time.  Like this one:
So one day, a ship I was riding on did that. I was riding it to conduct and observe some tests.[1] Since the ship was independently transiting, I didn't have much to do, so I went topside to watch the shooting.

One of the weapons that the sailors were shooting at the balloon was a M-79 "Bloopergun".


They were firing blue rounds.[2] The balloon was off the starboard side at maybe 300 yards or so and the ship was steaming around the balloon in sort of a lazy circle. Most of the sailors were missing to the left of the balloon.

I said something to one of my fellow shipriders along the lines of: "That thing is a big as a barn and they can't hit it."

The gunner's mate senior chief must have overheard me, for he spun around, fixed me with his patented Goat Locker Stare and said: "Maybe you'd like to give it a try, Ma'am."

"Thank you, Senior Chief, I'd like that." So I went over there and he gave me a fifteen second checkout on the controls of the M-79. I checked to make sure that the windage adjustment was centered, then I shouldered the weapon, aimed and fired.

The dummy warhead splashed right in front of the balloon. The senior chief's jaw dropped and he said something along the lines of: "Goddammit, Lieutenant, how'd you do that?"

"Easy," I said, as I handed the Bloopergun back to him. "The balloon isn't moving, the ship is. So you gotta lag the target, not lead it."
Oohrah, Comrade!  And the name of her blog is a sea story in an of itself - Target: Babies in the open. Fire for effect.  She explains the name:
The Navy also did procedures training, where data lines would be hooked up to a van alongside the pier. The crews in the Combat Information Center and in Gun Plot would then run drills, receiving radio and radar inputs from the instructors running the simulation in the van. Other than not rolling as the ship turned and not shuddering as the guns fired, the simulations were pretty much what one would see when shooting for real.

Except, that is, for the targets that were called in. Besides the standard ones of "trucks/troops/tanks in open", one of the goofy targets used was "babies in open." It was just sick humor, and the shells called for, unsurprisingly, would be Willy Peter, also known as White Phosphorous. Which is nasty stuff (look it up).

That's the reason for the name of this blog.
Heh.  Some of you already know about this (new-to-me) blog; Old NFO seems to be a regular commenter over there, but as you all know Old NFOs know everything (but say nothing).  But I lost an hour and a half spelunking the archives.

And I somehow hadn't realized that Comrade Misfit is a (retired?) Navy officer, and missed thanking her for her service on Veteran's Day.  I hope this rectifies this.  And she has a story about Navy officers, too:


Double heh.  And I would pick up the bar tab of an evening of Comrade Misfit and Old NFO swapping "that reminds me" stories.  Just sayin'.

If you like Military stuff and haven't run across this, you're in for a treat.

5 comments:

  1. Back in the day, Enlisted Marine Randy Jackson was a wizard with the M-79. Off the coast of Vietnam, the Marine contingent aboard a Navy vessel was observing the sailors taking gunnery practice at a towed target. The sailors were not scoring many hits. A Marine officer approached the Captain of the vessel and told him he had a Marine who could hit the towed target with the M-79. Disbelieving this to be possible the Captain said the Marines would be relieved of any details and go fishing for the day if the Marine could hit the target.
    The Marine officer asked Jackson if he thought he could hit the target. Jackson answered in the affirmative. He put the grenade through a tear in the target that had been opened up by the sailor's previous firing. The target was destroyed. The Captain gave the order to "...break out the fishing gear." The Marines had the rest of the day off.

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  2. Back in the day, Enlisted Marine Randy Jackson was a wizard with the M-79. Off the coast of Vietnam, the Marine contingent aboard a Navy vessel was observing the sailors taking gunnery practice at a towed target. The sailors were not scoring many hits. A Marine officer approached the Captain of the vessel and told him he had a Marine who could hit the towed target with the M-79. Disbelieving this to be possible the Captain said the Marines would be relieved of any details and go fishing for the day if the Marine could hit the target.
    The Marine officer asked Jackson if he thought he could hit the target. Jackson answered in the affirmative. He put the grenade through a tear in the target that had been opened up by the sailor's previous firing. The target was destroyed. The Captain gave the order to "...break out the fishing gear." The Marines had the rest of the day off.

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  3. She's good folks and damn good writer too! One of these days we WILL get a chance to meet in real space, and I'm looking forward to it!!!

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  4. How did I not know about her? I have some reading to do, that's for sure!

    Of course, I've also heard your blog mentioned a lot Borepatch, this is my second time here. It's been awhile because I forgot to link you the first time. That has been corrected, those responsible have been keel-hauled. Carry on.

    Great stuff!

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