A German woman is up in court on a charge of "attempted manslaughter with a weapon", after allegedly trying to smother her boyfriend with her ample 38DD assets.Ride of the Valkyrie. Giggle *snort*. And the Germans call us "rednecks".
Lawyer Tim Schmidt, 30, claims 33-year-old Franziska Hansen forced his head into her voluminous top-hamper while they were making the beast with two backs back in May in the town of Unna.
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Schmidt added that he managed to escape the Ride of the Valkyrie, and fled naked to a neighbour's house, from where he called the cops.
Regarding a motive for the bazonga blitzkrieg, Hansen was apparently jealous of her other half's successful law career while she "struggled to adapt to life and failed to hold down a string of jobs".
Yeah, yeah, attempted murder is very serious, yadda yadda. I'd post a picture of the, ahem, weapon, but I don't run that sort of joint. You'll have to be satisfied with a cold shower, or this:
Instead of running he should have given her what she deserved - a good spanking!
ReplyDeletePictures, this is the interwebz, we want pictures or it didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she needs introduced to the guy arrested for slapping his ex wife with his junk.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah, pics or it didn't happen.
When will we have a rational conversation about the dangers of boobehs in the hands of those not trained in their proper handling?
ReplyDeleteIt's for the children!!!!
Ya gotta admit...there are MUCH worse ways to die.
ReplyDeleteThis is why we need to carefully control these mammilary grade assault weapons.
ReplyDeleteI offer to carefully inspect them, to ensure that they are "sporting purposes" sweater puppies that have not been assembled into illegal "assault" configurations. This is painstaking, detail work, gentlemen -- but I love public safety so much, I'll even volunteer my time as an inspector for Tech Branch of the new Bureau of Awesome Ta-tas Federally Examined (BATFE), and carefully apply the required tax stamps (available with tassels on request) for registered non-sporting breasts.
Isn't this like every man's preferred way to go out?
ReplyDelete--- as you go?
Wait a minute. The guy feared for his life from a pair of 38s? What a wuss. No wonder he's a lawyer.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, thanks for the video. Which one is Mrs. BP?
Dava, I'm afraid that you're not cleared for that level of access ...
ReplyDelete;-)
I can think of worse ways to go...
ReplyDeleteShe was trying but failed to rack up a body count. Hopefully she'll admit her crime and make a clean breast of it.
ReplyDeleteThis is actually a case of life following fiction, way back when a certain "specialized" set of movies were made featuring nekkid people one of the main characters a very well endowed young lady was supposedly a spy you wish you had working for three lettuce agency, that killed enemy spies by smothering them with her ample bosom.
ReplyDeleteI only remember this because it was featured in a quirky TV program from the UK on the prawn industry, sadly anything of interest was blurred out by the censors.