Friday, December 23, 2011

The Wisdom Hilarity of Crowds

What do you say to $45/gallon milk?  Well, if you're a commenter on Amazon.com, you say it a la Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven:
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey, 
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore 
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping, 
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door. 
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door - 
Only this, and nothing more.'
There are 1,300 comments, all in a hilariously literary vein:
After a long hard week full of days he would burst through the door, his fatigue hidden behind a smile. There was an icy jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz in his right hand. With his left hand he would grip my waist - I was always cooking dinner - and press the cold frostiness of the jug against my arm as he kissed my cheek. I would jump, mostly to gratify him after a time, and smile lovingly at him. He was a good man, a wonderful husband who always brought the milk on Friday, Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.
Sadly, that one ended poorly.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the morning funny! I was persuaded to view the "...customers also viewed" suggestions and low and behold, Zubaz pants and and XL 10 kittens t-shirts. Highly recommended combination for trips to wally world when buying 5.65 bulk packs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Forget Heinlein and Stephan King. That some awesome word wrangling right there!

    ReplyDelete

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