After I took delivery of my ... Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.Or this one:
All of my co-workers went home with The plague. Fortunately due to the healing powers of this cable I was able to resist the black death and keep working. Thanks to the Denon engineers for saving my life!It's like a +4 saving throw in cable form! But this is quite frankly a little concerning:
This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.Anyone out there have any experience with cables so expensive you could buy a not-very-good-car or a wicked-sweet-sniper-rifle?
I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be awerkhaskdgbs[NO CARRIER]
Via #1 Son, who (correctly) points out that the reviews are a hoot.
Yes, I bought one, and now I am completely despondent. It hardly seems worth getting out of bed and turning on the home theater.
ReplyDeleteFor truly, this is the holy grail of cables, pure perfection in data transmission, and when it was delivered, I thought my life complete. But once it was installed, I realized that everything I owned to plug it into was unworthy.
What television monitor, or DVR, could measure up to the standards set by my cable? Verily, if I had the resources of Bill Gates, I could not buy a system that approached the perfection represented by the cable.
I have discarded all the electronics in the house, and had the cable mounted on a hand woven Chinese silk background on the wall. It is the least I can do.
You just made my day. That was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteDid you see the three wolf shirt?
ReplyDelete+5 on "This connection isn't sound...This connection isn't sound..."
ReplyDeleteTee-hee-hee on the Wolf shirt.
It's funny because it's true. I did the HT thing in the 90s, and I'm amazed at what people will spend on gear and then feed the signal into passive, ported "reflex" speakers that are made of wood or plastic.
ReplyDeleteI've seen similarly priced audio cables, where they sell a fluid jacketed cable and say it's effectively larger gauge. You can't justify those prices for analog, and if you think the "high purity copper" wire will affect your digital signals, you don't have the first clue how digital protocols work.
ReplyDeleteIf you've bought those cables and really think they've done something remarkable, contact me for a session with a clue by four.
Aw, gee. Now I'm going to go read high end audio cable sales pitches and laugh the night away!
They look like 5-foot-long Ethernet cables with heavy shielding.
ReplyDeleteNo one uses these except people who have no knowledge of audio systems that desperately look like they do.
But when I see a piece of shockingly priced AV gear, I'm never surprised to see the Denon name attached to it. It's pure status.