Happy Birthday H. L. Mencken

On this day in 1880, Henry Louis Mencken was born. As most people know, he was the second greatest American sitarist (after Sam Clemens). Thoroughly acerbic, he was the one who coined the term "Monkey Trial" to describe the Scopes/Evolution prosecution.

But what I think is his greatest work is a translation of the Declaration of Independence into the vernacular American English of his day. Published originally in the Baltimore Evening Sun in 1921, his translation began:

WHEN things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody.

All we got to say on this proposition is this: first, me and you is as good as anybody else, and maybe a damn sight better; second, nobody ain't got no right to take away none of our rights; third, every man has got a right to live, to come and go as he pleases, and to have a good time whichever way he likes, so long as he don't interfere with nobody else. That any government that don't give a man them rights ain't worth a damn; also, people ought to choose the kind of government they want themselves, and nobody else ought to have no say in the matter. That whenever any government don't do this, then the people have got a right to give it the bum's rush and put in one that will take care of their interests.

The whole thing is simply outstanding.

UPDATE 12 September 2010 12:09: This is perhaps the funniest typo I've ever made on this blog. I was going to change "sitarist" into "satirist", but all y'all have (so hilariously) taken me to the woodshed in the comments that I'll leave it for posterity.