Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What caliber for prehistoric rinos with Tusks of Doom™?

Actually Woolly Mammoths with Tusks of Doom™:

Woolly mammoths could one day walk the Earth again, it seems.

In an extraordinary Jurassic Park- style experiment, DNA from a frozen specimen of the extinct giant was used to reproduce their blood.

Click through to RTWT, where the boffin in question says they think they can do extinct rinos, too.

Yeah, baby: Jurassic Hunting Park! Me, I'd want something in a .416 Rigby, and instead of a Professional Hunter for backup, I'd like a heavy weapons squad.


Via Moe Lane, who dials the insanely cool up to eleven:
…complete with artistic representation of the wooly mammoth, which is basically a “angry-looking Snuffleupagus* with giant TUSKS OF DOOM.” Oh, sure, they talk later about how they can’t use this to actually create a Prius-flipping behemoth that will charge its way across Southern California until it is ironically lured into the La Brea Tar Pits by a rugged military veteran/surf instructor with a past, his wise-cracking surfing dude sidekick, and the obligatory gorgeous woman with glasses and a labcoat…
Can I just put my vote in now for our own JayG to play the part of the rugged military veteran gun nut/surf instructor biker with a past? Ambulance Driver has a lock on the "wisecracking" bit, and Shoothouse Barbie has a trademark on the "gorgeous woman with glasses and a labcoat" (although you'll need words with Dr. Fiance before asking her out. C'mon - be cool).

6 comments:

  1. Forget the round for taking the beast down. What do you use for a marinade and rub for smoking the carcass afterwards? Will we see an Alton Brown episode on properly preparing and cooking mastadon roulade? Will this get its own spot on Man Versus Food where the intrepid host tries to eat the entire trunk in an hour? What beer/wine goes with mammoth?

    And how do you convince the wife to let you put the mount in the family room?

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  2. pedanticMode

    You wrote "rino" instead of "rhino," which tells me so much. I'm not sure which is better game, though... which is why such experiments are valuable.

    /pedanticMode

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  3. DaddyBear, I so would like to see that Good Eats episode.

    And you use the tusks for a door frame.

    Scotaku:

    You wrote "rino" instead of "rhino," which tells me so much.

    As Humpty Dumpty said, "The question is which is to be master - that's all."

    From a computer security perspective, this is an information leakage vulnerability ...

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  4. What gun for mammoth? Karl G, perhaps.

    Jim

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  5. I'm thinking a compensated .50 cal as a light sport load. It would also give some range to make a scalded cat getaway if the outcome was less than decisive.

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  6. A man vs. food where the guy is on Jurassic Park Island would be sehr cool. I doubt that guy would last a whole episode though.

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