"Quiet as a hole in the water"

That's what modern submarines are supposed to be. Looks like the Royal Navy and the French Navy are doing pretty well.

British and French nuclear missile submarines collided earlier this month beneath the Atlantic, according to reports. Much is being made of the fact that the two subs "failed to see each other", but this is actually quite normal.

I get a lot of my technology news from The Register, but this is the only article that gets this right. "Quiet" isn't a bug, it's a feature.

After all, the whole reason that nations expensively put nuclear missiles on submarines is that it's the only reliable way of making it impossible for anyone to know where the missiles are. Nobody should be surprised at two purposely-designed undetectable launch platforms having remained undetected.

What's astonishing to me is that this is astonishing to the MSM. Auntie Beeb missed this, The Sun (UK) missed it, too. The Sun calls it "Unthinkable." Well, then. Maybe they should get their technology news from El Reg:

At an event held in London this morning, Admiral Sir Jonathan Band (the First Sea Lord, head of the Royal Navy) told reporters including the Reg that both subs were on routine national-deterrent patrols and had hit each other while "moving very slowly". This is a missile boat's normal posture while on deterrent patrol, as it makes the sub as silent and undetectable as possible - evidently quite successfully in this case.

Kind of the point, innit, lads? Oh, and UK pols are grandstanding, happy to display their utter lack of a clue:

Lib Dem defence spokesman Nick Harvey has called for an immediate internal inquiry with some of the conclusions made public.

"While the British nuclear fleet has a good safety record, if there were ever to be a bang it would be a mighty big one," he said.

Um, it's Nitroglycerine that goes boom when you drop it, not Trident missles, mkay? They're, like, designed to not go off unless they're armed and all.

I'd call him an idiot, but unlike our pols, he didn't just spend a trillion bucks that #1 Son and #2 Son will have to figure out how to pay back.