Would Jesus Play Football?

To many of you, the words "Contemporary Christian Country Music" are enough to get you to flee the room. Don't.

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday, and the question that - stunningly - hasn't been asked before in this orgy of professional competitiveness is What Would Jesus Do? More specifically, would he play football?

Readers of a more liberal persuasion are allowed to start giggling now.

D. Glass is (was?) a band that is really hard to find much about, even on Al Gore's Intarwebz. They do have a set of songs up for free download on Open Source Audio, which is pretty cool. If they're not around anymore, that would be a shame, because this song is simply hilarious.


Would Jesus Play Football? (D. Glas)

My neighbor's the grandson of a preacher,
And he's always got something to say,
Like how the world would be better
if people took the time to pray.

Well, Saturday's a day of football,
and he always loves to watch them play,
But he said to me there was something wrong
with the spirit of the game.

(Chorus)
Would Jesus play football?
Would he knock you down and try to hurt you?
Would he rub it in when they scored a touchdown?
Would he try to beat your team 49 to nothing?
Would Jesus play football, or would he let you win?

I turned on the game.
I hadn't watched the sport in years.
The players came out, and the fans went wild,
Waving flags and screaming cheers.
The players took position, and when they finally kicked the ball,
There was a crackin' of helmets and a smashin' of pads,
And I could hear my neighbor call:

Would Jesus play football?
Would he knock you down and try to hurt you?
Would he rub it in when they scored a touchdown?
Would he try to beat your team 49 to nothing?
Would Jesus play football, or would he let you win?

I know there's nothing like the weekends.
All my friends are here today.
Push 'em back and hit 'em harder,
Cuz that's how the game is played.

Would Jesus play football?

You bet I was relieved
when my neighbor returned home in one piece.
There was a smile on his face and a jump in his step,
And he asked if I believed.
I picked me up a football,
and he went back for the pass,
And as he reached out to receive it,
I saw the light at last.

Would Jesus play football?
Would he knock you down and try to hurt you?
Would he rub it in when they scored a touchdown?
Would he try to beat your team 49 to nothing?
Would Jesus play football, or would he let you win?

Oh, and the correct answer is: Yes, if he lived in Texas. But he'd have to cut his hair.

Heh.