Thursday, April 4, 2013

Judgy Bitch is the new Rachel Lucas

Those of you who've been around the Intarwebz have run across Rachel.  I posted before pointing to one of her epic rants:
I remember the first time I encountered this sort of opinion – that if women were in charge, humanity would live in peace. I was 11 or 12 years old and read it in a book, and I swear to god, I actually laughed out loud. I remember thinking, this fool has obviously never met any females.

...

Like the bitches in my 7th grade homeroom class. For reasons known only to Satan, a group of them decided they hated a girl named Cassie, who lived near me and was actually a really sweet kid. These girls befriended her for a while, let her into their “friend”ship ring of evil, and then suddenly one day when she walked in, they completely ignored her. I remember her crying later at lunchtime, and I heard that she’d told them that her stepdad drank beer in the evenings and now those little snots were telling the whole school he was an alcoholic. That rumor never died.

But that’s nothing. Wait until high school, when the competition for boys gets serious and the rumor-mongering takes on apocalyptic proportions. This is when the girls start calling each other sluts just because they like the same guys. There was a cheerleader at my high school who got pregnant in 11th grade and she went from being the one all of us envied to the one we all called dirty, dirty names. The boys never really said anything but the girls, oh sweet Jesus, we were brutal. On the bathroom wall, someone wrote in lipstick, “Tiffany is the WHOREleader! Keep your legs closed SLUT.”

Sugar and spice, my ass.

Then we grow up and start having babies, becoming those sainted “mothers” Sally [Fields] is talking about. You know, like Britney. Or more seriously, like this woman or this woman or this woman.
That's the least of the rant.  Sadly (for us, I presume happily for her) she found Mr. Right and became the happily married Mrs. Right, which tends to cut down on the amusing Intarwebz ranting.

Into the fray steps Judgy Bitch with rants like this, about a feminist hand me the smelling salts Victorian melt down because an obituary of a pioneering female rocket scientist dared to mention that she was an exceedingly fine cook:
These things are not buried in some deep, dirty, secret part of the internet that is almost impossible to access. It would have taken Jezebel ten minutes to find out that articles and obituaries that refer to male scientists are just as likely to talk about their family, their spouses, their children, their hobbies.

So what is the source of feminist bitterness about women, incredibly intelligent, accomplished, brilliant women who are capable not only of building propulsions systems that keep satellites in orbit, but ALSO of making beef stroganoff, being great moms and loving wives?

obama

Personally, I think it’s the order of priorities that pisses feminists off. The feminist ideal is this:
Me
Me
Me
Me
More me
My cat
More me
Yoga
Book club
Shopping
Pissing and moaning
How much will I get if I divorce him now?
Should I fuck the new intern? He’s kind of hot.
I hope that asshole doesn’t think I’m making dinner tonight
Shit, I chipped my manicure
Should I get a venti or a grande?
My house
My kid
My husband

Women like Yvonne have an entirely different set of priorities:

Husband
Children
Work
Epic, simply epic.

At this point I could point out that my Sister-In-Law is an actual rocket scientist, or that long time readers will not the prevalence of family posts here despite my Internet Security techie ramblings, or my admission (somewhere here, I swear) that Roberta X understands antenna theory in a way that I never could, and that doesn't hurt my widdle ego one widdle bit.  But quite frankly, I don't much care what the Politically Correct crowd dislikes.

I am glad to see someone as Politically Incorrect writing rants as epic as Rachel used to.  If you haven't spent time there (either place, really), then you're missing some of the best commentary (sharp as the finest English Cheddar) around.  Snark, delivered in multiple 55 gallon drums.

You know the guy who's missing that?  Don't be that guy.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Yes, I recently discovered judgybitch and I love it!
Rachel Lucas is my blog-mother, BTW