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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Patience

Mom has suffered a series of "micro strokes".  She's still spry, and has all of her faculties.  Her memory is what's suffered.

Memories of long ago are still vibrant, and we've been wiling the pleasant hours reminiscing.  That's been great.  But her short term memory has been clearly effected, which is making the task of getting her into a retirement community much more difficult.  It's frustrating to have to explain the same thing to her every ten minutes for an hour.  This video has helped me a lot.



I tell her again and again without getting mad at the woman who showed such patience to me.

Life is a meditation, if we notice, and meditation is said to lead us to wisdom.
Patience is the companion of wisdom.
- St. Augustine

15 comments:

Merlin said...

Prayers offered up for you, your mom, and your family.

My grandmother too suffered from micro strokes. That gradually, yet inevitable, deterioration was painful. I lived many states away at the time, and did not have day to day contact with her.

Perhaps my greatest gratitude is that last summer my children, her great-grand kids got to see her, she was cogent and coherent. She recognized everyone, and could hold a (albeit brief) conversation.

Life is fleeting, yet it is altogether worth the living. Treasure the moments, hoard the memories, and as long as you can, never forget.

Ajdshootist said...

As one who has had four major strokes
and three TIAs i can understand your pain my mother is now 93 and her short term memory is bad i find if i jog her memory by talking about some thing in her past it helps her to remember thing from more recently, i had a lot of trouble with her when my
younger brother died and it took about a year for it to stay in her memory as for ages she keeped asking for him and i would have to
explain what had happened to him
time and time again which was very
painful for me as i suffer from
Emotional Lability thanks to my strokes.

Rev. Paul said...

Hang in there, friend. My mom is in much the same condition, although not yet as forgetful as you describe.

You're doing it right.

GreyBeard said...

Hang in there. My parents are both gone, but I see my friends going through what I went through, and can feel the time approaching, when I will follow my parents footsteps and my children will go though what I did. Time moves like a circle.

Chris Byrne said...

I'm so sorry brother... I went through the same thing with my mother for a couple years... I know what it feels like.

Tacitus2 said...

I'm there with my dad. A few years ago we talked about his medical practice, and he liked to hear stories about how things are different in mine.

Then it became more stories of him as a young man growing up on the farm, going off to serve in the Army.

Now, at 90, it is about being a child on the farm.

A good long innings, as my Brit friends would say. But I find myself feeling guilty as I wonder if a quiet passing in his sleep would be a kindness before he loses even more of himself.

Tacitus

PISSED said...

Sorry to hear BP. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

Paladin said...

I'm not there yet with my folks, but most likely will be. I can remember very well the frustration when my grandparents were at that stage.

I don't look forward to it with my own parents. Not one little bit. The only thing working in my favor now is that I like to think that I have more patience now that I'm older myself. I remember how nice it was to have the grandparents around - even with the struggles of their aging minds. Even if I didn't realize that gift until after they were gone. I have that experience to draw on.

I hope to hold my parents in my heart for as long as I can. Good times or bad.

doubletrouble said...

Prayers your way, BP.
My Dad's the same way.

Wolfman said...

I went through the nightmare of Alzheimers, exacerbated by a major stroke, with my Grandad, and a long decline with my Grandmother. There is nothing that can make it easier. The only solace is found in the moments of clarity, and they will be become transformed as time progresses. The other solace is the support of friends and family- you have that here, and I and mine send what little we add your way Keep trucking, BP.

Midwest Chick said...

Thanks for this, more than you know. I'm going through much the same with my mom--it's hard not to get frustrated because you never know what's going to 'stick' and what won't and it can change within seconds. But now I'll think of the sparrow and that will help.

Brigid said...

A big hug to you and yours my friend. You've been there, when my Stepmom died, when some jerk broke my heart, so many years now, so many tears.

If I can offer the same, you know the number.

Dad is on his way to Montana as this is sent, saying his goodbyes, visiting the places he loved so much while he can fully embrace them. He's really excited, even as he knows it's the last visit.

instinct said...

I'm sorry to hear that. My grandmother had the same thing happen.

I'm with Paladin, I know the day is coming when my parents won't be here, I pray they are around long enough that my son will have fond memories of them, but it will be what it will be.

I only pray that I am always able t do right by them the way you are with your.

Prayers for you and yours.

Borepatch said...

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. She's doing pretty well, but I'm very happy that she's going into the retirement community.

nightfly said...

Please let me add my own belated well-wishes for your Mom, BP.