Okay, so there's two fiction inspired posts in one day today. This one's inspired by The Blues Brothers, the scene where they go to Bob's Country Bunker and wind up playing a country & western bar. Saw a clip of the start of that scene the other day, and it got me to thinkin'...Jay, now that's just wavin' a red flag in front of a bull, good buddy.
What could I sing in that scenario? Could I do an entire C&W set of songs I know by heart?
Now, Country has a million songs, but slow down Cowpoke. We're gonna have to do some weedin' out:
- Disqualify great country songs that my voice simply can't do justice to. Anything by Martina McBride (Anyway) or Allison Krause (When You Say Nothing At All) goes here.
- Disqualify great songs where the material is simply not appropriate being sung by a guy. Kellie Pickler's "Red High Heels" or SheDAISY's "She Gets What I Deserve". Unless it's in a bar in Provincetown, MA, in which you get double points. If you know what I mean.
- Disqualify songs that I simply do not have the skill to sing. Anything from Cowboy Troy or Big and Rich goes here. I just couldn't pull it off.
Where The Stars And Stripes And the Eagle Fly - Aaron Tippin
It's Five O'Clock Somewhere - Alan Jackson
One In A Row - Buddy Jewel
Wolves - Garth Brooks
Letters From Home - John Michael Montgomery
There Goes My Life - Kenney Chesney
Tattoos & Scars - Montgomery Gentry
I Just Wanna Be Mad - Terri Clark
The Cowboy In Me - Tim McGraw (have to change key; I'm a barritone)
Love Me If You Can - Toby Keith
One Hot Momma - Trace Adkins
T-R-O-U-B-L-E - Travis Tritt
The Song Remembers When - Trisha Yearwood
What the Cowgirls Do - Vince Gill
That's my fourteen. Now here are the ones that I'd like to be able to do, but simply could not possibly pull off:
I Play Chicken With The Train - Cowboy Troy (Me? Rap?)
Paris - Faith Hill (more like a show tune - you need actual talent)
Blacks and Whites - Phil Vasser (ditto)
Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy - Big & Rich (don't think I could perform the way this needs you to perform when you sing it)
Hurt - Johnny Cash (you have to live it to sing it; having lived it doesn't mean you can sing it)
Walking In Memphis - Lonestar (ditto)
The Moon and St. Christopher - Mary Chapin Carpenter (ditto ditto)
How Far - Martina McBride (I don't feel bad; nobody can sing like her)
Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw (I don't think I could sing this without choking up)
'Til You Love Me - Reba McIntyre (beautiful song, but it's about a stalker; too creepy if it was sung my a dude)
Boondocks - Little Big Town (I can't do amazing, four-part harmony with myself)
All Night Long - Montgomery Gentry (I can't play guitar this well)
Somebody Like You - Keith Urban (I really can't play guitar this well)
Drinkin' Me Lonely - Chris Young (my voice doesn't remotely have the range to sing this)